Parenting

Friday, November 27, 2009

The Registered Dietitian vs. the Picky Eater.

by Risa Green (Tales from the Mommy Track)
It turns out that I’ve been approaching this food thing all wrong. Which is not such a great surprise, given that I’ve gotten nowhere with it for the last seven years. Yet still surprising to me, nonetheless, if only because I already knew exactly what to do, and do it all the time, for myself. I just hadn’t thought to apply it to my kids.

Anyway, let me start at the beginning. The nutritionist – actually, the Registered Dietitian (my cousin informed me that there is a difference; an R.D. has a degree, a nutritionist does not) – came to my house and started by askng me what my daughter eats in each category of the food pyramid. I rattled off dozens of carbohydrates, three vegetables, two kinds of cheeses plus scrambled eggs, ten different fruits, protein in the form of chicken tenders, hotdogs and hamburgers, and a partridge in a pear tree. Except that she doesn’t really like pears (or partridges, I’m guessing, though I’ve never actually tried to serve her one). I then ran down a typical food day: breakfast (Life cereal with skim milk), lunch (pasta with butter, fruit and string cheese), afternoon snack (Pirate’s Booty), after school snack (more Pirate’s Booty, plus another piece of string cheese), dinner (oh, God, dinner. More pasta with butter, fruit, maybe a glass of milk), and dessert (whatever crap is in my freezer).

We talked about healthier options, like using olive oil on the pasta instead of butter, serving some strawberries or a glass of juice with breakfast, and substituting yogurt for the cheese sometimes. But the big aha! moment for me really had to do with the way that I think about dinner. For me, dinner has taken on a holy kind of quality, where we’re all supposed to sit around the table at exactly six o’clock and eat a well-balanced, dinner-ish kind of meal, like chicken, fish or steak with a vegetable, and maybe a small side of rice or pasta. And, most importantly, we’re all supposed to eat the same thing. This, I learned, is a pipe dream. Maybe not for everyone, but with the way my daughter eats, it is for me. And the sooner I get over it, the sooner I will be able to relax and chill out and actually enjoy having dinner with my family.

What this means is that, instead of thinking about the day as consisting of three meals and bunch of snacks, I should instead think of the day as a series of small meals. Of course, like I said before, I already knew this. I’ve read enough issues of Self Magazine and watched enough episodes of Oprah to know that eating five or six small meals a day is a much healthier way to eat, but for some reason, I just never thought about it as being relevant for children. But it makes such perfect sense. Instead of feeding my kids empty, air-puffed calories in the form of Pirate’s booty every time they’re hungry, I should be giving them a small meal that consists of lean protein, fruit and/or veggies and whole grains. It could be a fruit smoothie with yogurt and a few wheat thins, or half of a peanut butter and banana sandwich with a glass of milk, or a pizza bagel with a side of carrots. But the point is to make each meal count.

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Risa Green, author of Tales from the Mommy Track on MommyTracked.com, lives in Los Angeles. In the last four years, she has produced two children, called Harper and Davis, and two novels, called Notes from the Underbelly and Tales from the Crib. Her third novel will be published next year.
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Comments 1-4 of 4
  • miss my family's Avatar
    Posted by miss my family Thu Oct 15, 2009 10:15pm PDT

    I don't believe in picky eaters. You eat what I put in front of you or you leave the table. The next time your hungry guess what you eat? After a few times trust me they learn that your not giving in. So if I thought her diet wasn't healthy I'd put food in front of her that I thought was better.

    As mom always said "I'm not a short order cook you eat what I give you".

    Also growing up my parents DID make us eat at the same time (for dinner). The whole family. At one time and eating the same food.That is not to much to expect or a dream. At least not where the kids are concerned (because sometimes my dad had to work at dinner time). But we were never allowed to have activities that cut into dinner time. If we did want to sign up for something mom might consider changing dinner time (i.e. one year at 6 the next at 7 or even 5 if it was an activity that was later in the evening) but we were all still required to have dinner together as a family. And we all still managed to have our own activities and enjoy them.

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  • Emmi's Avatar
    Posted by Emmi Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:21pm PDT

    Sometimes kids being picky can be a good thing!

    1.) They will be much more selective about what they put in their mouths that they aren't supposed to (i.e. household cleaners, small toys, various natural substances like dirt and rocks)

    2.) When I was younger, my parents forced me to try "just one bite" of guacamole in a restaurant. I put the chip in my mouth, immediately gagged, spit it out, chugged water to get rid of it, and was scolded for it. Flash forward a few years: we discovered I am severely allergic to latex, and in my case it cross-reacts with avocado, which is of course the prime ingredient in guacamole. If I had actually swallowed the guacamole, there's a darn good chance I would have gone into anaphylactic shock and died. My being "picky" was actually a self-defense reflex on my body's part.

    Just sayin...

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  • miss my family's Avatar
    Posted by miss my family Sat Oct 17, 2009 6:33pm PDT

    Gagging after having actually tried the food is different then being picky. Only one of us girls ever actually gagged on food when having tried. And that was one thing. Other than that we were never allowed to refuse to eat something. Ever. It's inappropriate. A child is just that: a CHILD. They should eat what you give them whether they like it or not. We never played games like that when I was growing up and I wont now. I didn't have my kids so I can cater to their every whim. When I had them I certainly wasn't having them with the idea I needed to give them whatever they wanted. They are the children we are the adults. They should obey whether they like it or not. Whenever kids tell me "I don't want to do/eat that" I tell them "Did I ask you if you wanted to? Because I don't remember requesting you do something I remember telling you to do it."

    And that doesn't mean that I never take their feelings into account or make something that I know they detest. I don't think it's funny to make them unhappy but I'm not going to play games. If I ask them "do you need to go to the bathroom" then yes they can tell me yes or no (politely) but if I say "go to the bathroom" it's not up for debate. It's the same thing with food or anything else they need to do. If I ask them (and I WILL ask them if it's not important i.e. if it's snack time sure they can choose between the things we have) but if I need them to do it (i.e. go to the bathroom because were leaving and I don't want to worry about it ten minutes later, or eat food because that's what were all eating and it wont kill them to eat what we eat) then I expect them to do it whether they like it or not.

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  • Jessica's Avatar
    Posted by Jessica Thu Oct 22, 2009 5:01pm PDT

    Miss my family - I agree. We never had a choice about dinner, mom or dad might make something you liked for the whole family but what you got was what you ate and if you didn't eat it at dinner you'd be eating it an hour or two when you were complaining about being hungry. Never hurt me a bit.

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