The Santa Dilemma

From the Community…

• 
  Posted by LisaP Fri Dec 5, 2008 12:21pm PST

  Last year my oldest decided that there was no Santa. He was 8 and has two older stepbrothers at his father's house. I tried to explain to him about the magic part of surprising younger kids and I told him that it was fine for him not to believe, but that if he ruined it for his little sister, there would not be any Santa presents for him this year. However, he is very mature and responsible for his age. He said that he understood and so far sissy still believes. I may have a Santa's helper in the making!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by HotCrossBuns Fri Dec 5, 2008 12:35pm PST

  Oy, we're going through much the same thing, only my oldest is 10. We've managed to keep her believing up till now, but she's on to us. We just told her that when she stops believing in Santa, he stops bringing gifts. With a 7 year old and a 6 year old coming up behind her, both who still firmly believe, I am not planning on coming clean with any of them. The same rule applies for all of them, just the same as with Tinkerbell from Peter Pan: when you no longer believe, he no longer exists.

  This year Kid1 mailed a letter to Santa (which I secretly opened, copied and kept for posterity) and in it she wrote, "Some kids say you aren't real. That really ticks me off, ya know?" She then went on to tell him that her "mom NEEDS a Wii Fit, REALLY BAD"...but I digress.

  When the same Kid1 was 8years old she came home from school appalled that some kids didn't believe in Santa. Her response to me was as follows.

  "What are they BLIND!? He's right there in the mall for everybody to see for cryin' out loud!"

  PRICELESS!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Mimi-pz Fri Dec 5, 2008 1:12pm PST

  Thanks guys! We're considering taking the "Well, just like some people don't believe in God, there are some that don't believe in Santa" approach. And letting him know that while Santa may not physically exist -- he was a real person at one time (St. Nick) and the tradition of doing good continues. And he exists in the hearts of those that truly believe in the spirit of Christmas.

  But we're waiting for him to bring it up again!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Pilito Sat Dec 6, 2008 3:34am PST

  Have you told them that Christmas is about Jesus'birth ??not about Santa!!?

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Mimi-pz Sat Dec 6, 2008 4:32am PST

  Pilito... We just had this discussion in my mom's group.

  And rest assured, we are Christian in our house and yes, my sons both know the true meaning of Christmas. However, that does not mean we exclude Santa/Father Christmas from our Christmas celebrations.

  I'm sure you are aware, Santa has roots in Christianity. Saint Nicholas of Myra is the primary inspiration for the Christian figure of Santa Claus. He was a 4th-century Greek Christian bishop of Myra in Lycia (now in Turkey) famous for his generous gifts to the poor. He was very religious from an early age and devoted his life entirely to Christianity. Saint Nicholas has been claimed as the patron saint of many diverse groups including children and he is also the patron saint of both Amsterdam and Moscow.

  I also realize that some Christians believe that Santa distracts from the true meaning of Christmas and is a symbol of the more secular and commercialized aspects of the Holiday. I, personally, don't see any reason why Santa and the Birth of Jesus can't go hand in hand. But understand others have different beliefs and I have no problems with that.

  That being said, one way we were thinking of approaching the whole "Santa" thing is to tell him, just like not every one is a Christian and not every one believes that Jesus was the Son of God, there are some people who don't believe in Santa.

  It really is such a wonderful, magical time when the kids do believe in Santa and it's fun. I'm just sad to think it may be coming to a close before I was ready to give it up. And I don't want Sam to lose the magic of Santa either. I want him to enjoy it for as long as possible too!

  The birth (death and resurrection) of Jesus should be our focus 365 days a year, not just Christmas. I personally, think God is okay with Santa.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Stacey Sat Dec 6, 2008 6:13am PST

  For xmas our santa is now called www.gifteer.com: you can tell exactly what you want and what your kids want, and your family will know!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Lou Sat Dec 6, 2008 10:54am PST

  It is quite the conundrum. When my daughter was in 3rd grade, she came home and begged me to tell her the truth about Santa. After putting up with a lot of begging, I did. She cried for hours. I talked to some friends who told me to retract my statement. I went home and told her that I had checked with some friends who all told me I was an idiot and that Santa was, of course, real. She bought it---why? Because, in spite of feeling silly about believing when so many of her friends didn't, she REALLY wanted to. That same year, we saw Santa at the Mall and the guy was great. She came away completely convinced and a little spooked. He knew her room was messy and that she didn't always remember to brush her teeth.

  My daughter is now 13 and she loves filling my stocking and helping to surprise her younger cousins.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by steve Sat Dec 6, 2008 3:55pm PST

  personally I haVE NEVER LIED TO MY KIDS OR GRANDKIDS I HAVE TOLD THEM THE TRUTH FROM DAY ONE IF I GET THEM SOMETHING I SAY IT IS A GIFT TO YOU FROM ME OR MY WIFE BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU AS CHRISTIANS WE FOLLOW THE BIBLE AND TEACH THE TRUTH MANY OF THE christmas customs predate JESUS BIRTH ON EARTH IE IN JER 10:3,4 IT SPEAKS OF THE CUSTOM OF DECORATING THE TREE (FOR A PAGAN FESTIVAL) DURING THE "SATURNALIA FEASTING PREVAILED AS DID THE GIVING OF GIFTS ALSO "NOWHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT STATE JESUS WAS BORN ON DEC 25THABSOLUTELY NOWHERE "IN FACT HIS DATE OF BIRTH WAS NEVER GIVEN !!!! WHERE THEN DID THE DATE COME FROM THE DATE WAS CHOSEN TO CORRESPOND WITHA PAGAN FESTIVAL DURING THE WINTER SLOSTICE CALLED "dies natilis Solis Invicti" (literally the birthday of the invincible sun) on dec 25 274 A.D. Aurelian had proclaimed the sun god principal patron of the empire in Campus Martius christmas was born originated at a time when the cult of the sun was partricularly strong in Rome source "the New Catholic encyclopedia 1967 ol III page 656 also in december it is the cold rainy season and everyone has the flocks indoors and Luke 2:8-11 show the shepherds were out in the fields when Jesus was Born and think about this would a loving husband take his 9 months pregnant wife on a 10 day donkey ride in the cold rainy season to register also the "magi" WERE ASTROLOGERS FROM THE EAST MATT 2:1,2 (ASTROLOGY IS STRONGLY CONDEMED IN THE BIBLE ) MATT 2:1-16 SHOWS A STAR LED THE ASTROLOGERS TO jESUS AFTER 1ST BE ING LED TO KING HEROD WHO WANTED TO HAVE HIM KILLED (HEROD HAD ALL BABIES 2 AND UNDER KILLED TO TRY AND KILL JESUS ) SO JOSEPH AND HIS WIFE FLED TO EGYPT TO SAFEGUARD THE CHILD MATT 2:20,21 AND WHEN THE ASTROLOGERS FOUND JESUS HE WAS 2 YRS OLD AND LIVING IN A HOUSE NOT A BARN OR MANGER MATT 2:11KJV THERE THEY PRESENTED HIM WITH GIFTS AS WAS THE CUSTOM WHEN VISITING NOTABLE PERSONS AND WHEN THEY GOT THERE IT WAS NOT HIS BIRTH OR BIRTHDAY THAT THE GIFTS WERE GIVEN FOR AS HE WAS 2 YRS OLD AT THE TIME AND GIFTS WERE NOT GIVEN TO ONE ANOTHER BUT ONLY TO THE CHILD JESUS SO THE PRACTICE OF THE GIVING OF GIFTS COULD NOT BE BASED ON THIS SO DOES THE TELLING OF THEESE FICTIONS THAT SOME PARENTS TELL THEIR KIDS BUILD A RESPECT FOR THE TRUTH OR TEACH THEM ITS O.K. TO TELL A LIE IT CERTAINLY DOES NOT HONOR JESUS HAVING HIS NAME ASSOCIATED WITH A PAGAN FESTIVAL AND IT EQUALLY PAGAN TRAPPINGS TO GET MORE MEMBERS IN THE CHURCHES THEY CHANGES IT FROM THE WORSHIP OF THE SUN TO THE sON THAT DIDNT MAKE IT CHRISTIAN IT IS STILL PAGAN EPH 5:10,11 AND 2ND COR 6:14-18 MAKE THIS VERY PLAIN THE KIDS ARE VERY HAPPY IN KNOWING THE TRUTH AND THEY KNOW IF THEY ASK US A QUESTION WE WILL TELL THEM THE TRUTH ......AND THEY KNOW THAT THEY CAN COME TO US WITH ANY THING WE HAVE BUILT A STRONG BOND OF TRUST BY TELLING THEM THE TRUTH AND WHEN WE ASK THEM THEY TELL US THE TRUTH AS WELL I NEVER HAVE TO SECOND GUESS WHETHER THEY ARE BEING HONEST LIKE SOME HOPE THIS HELP YOU WITH YOUR PROBLEM

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by April Hughes Sat Dec 6, 2008 7:37pm PST

  My older daughter knew last year. I don't ever believe you should flat out lie to your kids, so when she asked, over and over, "is there REALLY a santa?" , and she had doubts about the logistics, I didn't feel it was fair to lie to her, and to equate believing in Santa with believing in God is very wrong, because eventually she will find out the truth, and may just keep humoring you. This teaches kids that deception is OK on both your parts. I told my daughter that there is still Christmas magic, and Santa is the spirit of Christmas and fun for kids. She was OK with that, and agreed to keep quiet for her sister. This year the younger one (8)asked me about things very skeptically, and I asked her what she thought was the truth, and she said "you are santa". I said yes, that is true, but go ahead and humor me, and she thought that was hilarious. Today she went to a special Santa breakfast with a friend who still believes, and his mom left me a message that she was so cute, and didn't let on at all. So I say if your kids are smart enough to figure things out, don't lie to them, it just sets them up to not trust you. They were both much less upset about all this then I was!!!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Noh Sat Dec 6, 2008 10:18pm PST

  When my oldest was old enough to start beleiving in Santa I tried to put a quick stop to it, thinking it a terrible lie, and failed miserably. He wanted to believe in Santa. (Ive since changed my views on the subject.) So I've been waiting the past few years for the big momment. He's come really close. Asking me if there was a Santa a couple weeks ago. I asked him if he wanted the truth. He said yes. I asked "You won't get upset if it's something you don't want to hear?" He said "Never mind, I want to find out for myself." So needless to say if it's not this year I'll be amazed. Whenever he confronts me, which he will I'll tell him what my mother told me. That long ago there was a man named St. Nicholas who gave gifts to poor children on Christmas Eve. And although he has long since passed we carry on the spirit of giving. That's why we remember Santa because it helps us to remember to give to others. He is very mature and a giving soul. I know he'll understand.

  From his journey I know that I have to ride it out with my youngest. I will ask my oldest to talk to me about Santa's non-existence out of ear shot of his sister. And not to make comments about such when Santa is mentioned around her. I don't think it will scar a child or condemn them or anyone else to hell. As long as we remember why we keep the Santa tradition. When children are small the have a large Self Santa draws them wether we want it or not. Santa is a tool we can use to teach about the spirit of giving. How many Santa's do you see collecting donations for the less fortunate? Or passing out gifts or hot meals over the holiday season? As long as we point that out to them, and set a example of giving ourselves they'll become giving people also.

  Report Abuse