Magically moves from head to trash.
"Best Dad" gear.
Mike: Caps, pencil holders, beer cozies...the list goes on and on. Pick any useless item off the shelf, add "Best Dad!" in rainbow lettering and voila, a gift that will remain on your favorite dad's desk for all of 5 minutes before miraculously coming to life and jumping into the trash can. Now "World's Greatest Dad"...that's another story.
Charlene: How could you forget gear that says, "Dad Rocks!" "Pop Pop!" or my personal favorite, "Big Papi!" across the front. All best left said in a card.
So cliché.
Mike: I actually like ties, and although as an at-home dad I only have a need for one about every other year now, my closet is full of them. But still, a tie is so ridiculously cliched as a Father's Day gift it practically screams, "I gave you 2 seconds of thought this year. Enjoy."
Charlene: No need to defend this one. Even Rick Springfield says ties are the worst Father's Day gift. Ever.
More. power.
Mike: I feel like I should be in a Jeff Foxworthy joke when I say this, but I love a good BBQ. And I don't mean a slick, silver gas jobbie. Those are for amateurs. I mean an old-fashioned barrel-drum sawed in half and filled to the brim with Kingston and mesquite. Add a slab of ribs, a bucket of cold beers and an entire afternoon to do nothing but baste and brine. I think that's what Hallmark had in mind when it invented Father's Day.
Charlene: Now this is where I disagree. A gas grill equals no charcoal mess for Mom, oops! I mean Dad, to clean.
Can we just talk?
A singing anything.
Mike: If you have to press a button to hear an automaton do or say or imitate anything, you might be better off just purchasing a tie. Unless, of course, you think the dad in your life would actually like a jazz inspired Kung Fu hamster. Then you have bigger problems on your hands.
Charlene: Indeed. Billy Bass wailing Smoke on the Water isn't funny anymore.
Hard to believe this used to be cool.
Mike: Seriously, the sweater worn by TV's ultimate dad is for sale on eBay right now. If the father in your life was raised in the 80s and has developed a fascination for old-school garments a la Bret from HBO's "Flight of the Conchords," then look no further. Bid this instant! But if the father in your life has any fashion sense whatsoever, you might want to peruse the clothes racks a little longer.
Charlene: Well, it would hide some pretty nasty spills. But it's June, not December. Drop the sweaters (even the ugly ones) until winter.
If you want to find out what Mike thinks men really want on Father's Day, read on.
And if your looking for last-minute gift ideas, check out these Father's Day posts from the editors of Shine:
Father's Day gifts under $20
Rick Springfield talks Father's Day, his kids and music...and gives me a personal guitar lesson
What he really wants for Father's Day
Just for Dad: Cookie Magazine's Father's Day Gift Guide
Five Cheese burgers your dad will flip over
Nothing says, "I love you dad" like a fat steak: 5 recipes and tips
Father's Day Grilling Recipes
Movie Dad Gift Guide
A no-holding back Father's Day gift guide
Cookie Magazine's Father's Day Pick: Bulldog Cufflinks
Father's Day gift ideas from Dwell
The best Father's Day gifts that aren't grills
The ultimate Product Fiend Father's Day gift guide
