True Mom Confessions and Answers with Brett Berk: 3 Reasons you should NOT spank your kids.

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  Posted by greato80 Mon Sep 22, 2008 9:42pm PDT

  I am a parent and I do believe in spankings only for when it only used for disciplining disobedience and when you're tired and cant take their tantrums. When I did spank my child on hand, I got down to their level and talked to them and asked them why they got it and why it was wrong. Then showed them loved to let them know I did still love them. I havnt had to spank my child in yrs. There is a right way to go about it.

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  Posted by greato80 Mon Sep 22, 2008 9:43pm PDT

  Just to clarify something i wrote its not ok to spank when ur tired and cant stand there tantrums.

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  Posted by Ts Mon Sep 22, 2008 10:06pm PDT

  As a parent of 3 who has been known to have given a slap on the wrist for such thing a reaching out to touch something the kids has been repeated been told not to; to give a swat on the tookus for such crimes as hogging the Wii, burping repeatedly in my face, and other equally frustrating misdeeds. I've also been known to once or twice threaten (and follow through) over-the-lap-bare-bottom-spankings for serious infractions. After I've given the swat or the rare spank (or just threatened it) I never have felt like I've taught my kids anything.

  What I've read is Brett's makes a lot of sense. We teach are kids most effectively through our actions. If we demonstrate - and narrate - our coping skills our kids will learn them more effectively. and He has participated in raising hundreds of kids. I thank G-d every day for the help that my children's teachers offer me in raising my kids more effectively. Some have no children, some have raised twins, some have had multiple singles. Everyone of them, has offered me insights. Frankly, I wish I'd known about this gay uncle 10 years ago. The kids and the parents in our house might all be in a happier place.

  Our goal as parents should be to teach our children self control & self regulation.

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  Posted by Jennifer A Tue Sep 23, 2008 6:24am PDT

  Speaking as a child that was spanked when necessary, I recall only being spanked when I really deserved it. And my parents didn't seem irate when it happened (therefore not setting a bad example by "losing it"). When I was spanked, I undoubtably deserved it. And I turned out just fine. :)

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  Posted by Mary Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:10am PDT

  i like totaly agree with what he is trying to say

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  Posted by Jackie Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:12am PDT

  Well... I was spanked as a child. Not as the exclusive form of punishment, but in combination with other methods. And it usually came down to a warning first, ie: "I'm going to spank you if you don't stop [insert behavior here]. I didn't have to be spanked too often before the threat became enough. And guess what? My parents were amazing. I am very close to my entire family. I am a supremely happy, well-adjusted, relatively successful and mature grown-up. Who will absolutely use spanking in the same context as my parents did. I am so grateful they disciplined me and taught me consequence, as parents should.

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  Posted by princess Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:15am PDT

  Mr. Berk, if you read these comments from us after we've posted them, PLEASE MAKE SURE TO READ MINE. I'm not going to criticize you for your opinion on spanking or anything for that matter, it's your opinion. But, for the sake of our future generation of kids that will someday become adults, I hope that you don't have kids, and I'm hopeful that you won't bring one to this world by adding another UNDICIPLINED ILL MANNERED CHILD. You stated that, " to discover how to exert self-control and figure out how to get themselves back on track when a situation, problem, or conflict derails them. Spanking does nothing to help this!" How is a 3 year old going to be able to just automatically do this without guidance and dicipline (spanking). I personally have raised 2 beautiful, well behaved daughters, who were, guess what, SPANKED. There is a difference between beatings and spanking. I've NEVER beat my daughters. Parents also, have to make sure to show their children how much they're LOVED, always, even during bad behavior. I've always told my daughters right before spanking, "I'm doing this because I LOVE you, and I'm trying to teach you wrong from right, and NOT to disobey me."

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  Posted by Jasmine Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:20am PDT

  I got spanked as a child and I turned out just great!

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  Posted by Carolina Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:34am PDT

  I feel like this guy that wrote this book is full of it...I think that you dont need to have kids to agree with spanking. Now a days kids are so disrespectful to thier parents and other adults that if you dont teach your kids at an early age to respect they grow up to be worse. Kids sometimes need a harder punishment then taking the tv or computer away. So Im for Spanking kids and why do people feel to put in their two cents about it, they like myself have no right to get in the middle of how someone wants to raise their kids. Im not saying beat the kid blue and purple but a good spanking is good.

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  Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:35am PDT

  First of all, I babysat some kids whose mother would not spank them. When the elder one was 12 she violently attacked her mother & her mother had to violently defend herself. The irony is that she didn't spank her kids because she didn't want to teach them violence.

  Second, I don't listen to any man telling me what I need to do as a woman... especially a man who has no real experience in what he's trying to 'correct' in us women. Spare me.

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