True Mom Confessions and Answers with Brett Berk: 3 Reasons you should NOT spank your kids.

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  Posted by KRISSCO Mon Sep 29, 2008 6:08pm PDT

  I'm not a parent but I can proudly say that whoopings (spankings) have done wonders for me. I'm not saying that this is the only method for discipline but it's one of the many accomplished ones. My mother would talk to us and take away some of our priviledges but when it was time to really put her foot down a whooping was neccessary.Im 19 and that doesnt mean that Im violent now or that I was as a child because of whoopins here and there. Now there is a way to properly "spank" a child, you should not beat a child under any circumstances.That writer or whomever he is, he needs to lighten up and come back down to reality. If my mother hadn't whooped me when I needed it, I would have continued to do the same bad things or what ever it was that I was doing wrong. If I would think to do that bad thing again, I would think back to what the consequences were and not do it. It was pretty simple and common sense for me and my sisters and brother.

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  Posted by KRISSCO Mon Sep 29, 2008 6:09pm PDT

  I'm not a parent but I can proudly say that whoopings (spankings) have done wonders for me. I'm not saying that this is the only method for discipline but it's one of the many accomplished ones. My mother would talk to us and take away some of our priviledges but when it was time to really put her foot down a whooping was neccessary.Im 19 and that doesnt mean that Im violent now or that I was as a child because of whoopins here and there. Now there is a way to properly "spank" a child, you should not beat a child under any circumstances.That writer or whomever he is, he needs to lighten up and come back down to reality. If my mother hadn't whooped me when I needed it, I would have continued to do the same bad things or what ever it was that I was doing wrong. If I would think to do that bad thing again, I would think back to what the consequences were and not do it. It was pretty simple and common sense for me and my sisters and brother.

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  Posted by The Unknown Dude Mon Sep 29, 2008 8:57pm PDT

  It never ceases to amaze me how people make straw-men arguments and then proceed to rip them up as if the scenario they've created is really the only one that exists. Here's an example:

  "instead of showing your kids how to get in control it shows you totally losing control."

  Well, here's another possibility. It's also possible to spank a child with a complete absense of out-of-control impulsivity (as a matter of opinion, I would say this is when one should not spank their child). A major point of all discipline is to train and teach a child to be a safe and responsible human being that others will enjoy being around.

  Consider the following scenario. Billy is 5 and has developed a habit of running into the street. His parent has warned him that this is dangerous and that if he did it again his consequence would be a spanking. He's 5 and likely doesn't get what the danger is about. Besides, he likes going into the street. Later, he looks at the parent and proceeds to go into the street. The parent retrieves him and tells him to go to his room and wait. The parent later goes in and reminds him of what the consequence is for disobeying this rule and in a loving and consistent way delivers the consequences. The parent reaffirms their love for Billy and reminds him again of the rule and the consequence for breaking it. He's free to go, but will think twice before considering running into the street the next time. Billy may not develop the understanding as to why it's a bad idea to run out in the street for a while, and the possibility of letting Billy experience the 'natural consequences' of such behavior is unthinkable. Sometimes a spanking is useful to change a child's behavior by using a tangeable consequence (sometimes nothing can say it like a spanking). The understanding will follow later.

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  Posted by Tonya R. Mon Oct 27, 2008 12:28am PDT

  I have a 3 year old son. I use to think I would never ever spank him. Well I just recently started spanking him on the bottom and it works. I hate to spank and its my very last resort. If time out or nothing else won't work I agree with a smack on the hand or a spank on the bottom. My son sometimes does naughty things for no reason and that's not nice dosen't work...trust me. I believe if you discipline them while they are young then hopefully by 10-12 they will be well behaved and have respect and follow rules and directions. So spanking should'nt be necessary after that.

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  Posted by Herbie Luvs you Tue Oct 28, 2008 10:57am PDT

  My kids get 1-2 spankings a year. They really have to do something bad. They hate the spankings so much that they are well-behaved. I know some of my classmates who weren't whooped and they've already been to rehab and have major drug/relationship problems. I was beat as a kid. I had to stick my nose in the corner. I turned out fine and a better parent than the ones that stick their kid in time out and use words. Kids don't have a good recollective memory as it is.

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  Posted by Elle Tue Oct 28, 2008 9:12pm PDT

  There is no one right or wrong way to raise a child. If there were, in the course of history we would have found it out by now and everyone would do it. Why would there be only one right way? Every parent is different. Every child is different. Every situation is different. There isn't one right way to have a marriage, learn a new skill (some learn by doing, others by reading, others by seeing it done, etc.) or anything else. Why should there only be one way to discipline your kids? Even within the same family there can be major differences between children and some respond better or worse to different methods.

  That said, just because you aren't spanking doesn't mean you are doing everything right. There are plenty of parents out there who don't spank but are really lousy parents. Personally, I think grounding your kids or taking away things for days or weeks is far more useless. It just prolongs the whole situation. Do they even remeber that they can't watch that TV show this week because they fought with their sister last week? Once you take away the video game, what happens if they do something else they shouldn't? Taking away the video game makes sense if the kid is misbehaving in relation to the game but what does it teach them about treating their sister with respect if you take it away for fighting? Just because you don't spank doesn't necessarily mean you are teaching your children self control or discipline or being any better of a parent.

  I also don't think you are just an awful parent because you do spank. Kids aren't stupid. They know the difference between a spanking given by a loving parent when they do something wrong and being hit randomly because a parent is out of control. Face it, no matter what you do to discipline your kids you wouldn't do to an adult. When was the last time you made your spouse stand in the corner, took away their phone or forbid them to leave the house or see their friends? If you did, it would be considered abuse or false imprisonment. There is a reason kids aren't treated exactly like adults.

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  Posted by Steven Wed Oct 7, 2009 8:50pm PDT

  Laughable, just laughable. What an idiot!

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