User Post: Can a woman teach her son how to be a man or is that a father's job?

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  Posted by JulieK Fri Jan 9, 2009 6:49pm PST

  i am a single mom raising two twin boys which are 9 now soon to be 10 next month, i personally think there should be at least one person{a man} in there life a friend uncle grandfather so they can relate to there own gender example man to man talks i am also raising a 11 and a 17 yr old daughters and they relate to me mother to daughter, these boys of mine are into sports and do get the father image through the parks dept, friends and neighbors and with me

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  Posted by Kathleen Fri Jan 9, 2009 7:28pm PST

  I am also a single mom of a "wild" 3 year old boy. And i have to say that yes women can raise a boy to be a man and sometimes a better man. The reason being that then the young man will know how to teach women the right way.

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  Posted by Opal Fri Jan 9, 2009 9:18pm PST

  Well, considering that traditionally men have the wrong idea of what it really means to be a man, I say YES, women can and should do the job. Fathers pass down bad examples to their sons and perpetuate the sexist roles they want to put women in.

  For example, my siblings and I grew up without our dad, who died when I was 9. My mom raised two girls and one boy without and man. As a result, my brother takes on cooking and cleaning as normal, adult responsibilities in his household, which he shares with his wife of 14 years. He doesn't complain about it, nor does his wife have to nag him because he sees these jobs as a part of being an adult. On the other hand, a majority of men do not participate in these duties even though their wives work full-time. Is this fair? No, but most men think it's a woman's job to be cook and maid because they grew up seeing their dads not helping around the house. And dads learned it from their dads, and so on. It can be traced back to the days when women simply weren't in the workforce like we are now. Even though women slowly started getting jobs and careers - evolving for our betterment, if you will - men's attitudes towards stepping up and being a man in the house have not. And here we are today.

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  Posted by Opal Fri Jan 9, 2009 9:22pm PST

  I also want to add that fathers normally teach their sons that it's girly to express their feelings. Bull s---. This is another FAIL on the part of men raising their sons. It takes a real man to be himself and not worry about what others think. Plus, men who are expressive are more attractive to women. Why don't men get that even though we tell them that ad nauseum!?

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  Posted by meme Fri Jan 9, 2009 10:20pm PST

  I THINK THAT A WOMAN CAN RAISE A BOY TO A MAN, BUT I FEEL AS IF THAT BOY/MAN DOESN'T FEEL COMPLETELY AS A WHOLE MAN. THERE'S SOMETHING JUST MISSING.

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  Posted by aaron Fri Jan 9, 2009 10:54pm PST

  i would say that a woman can give a growing boy good direction and pray and hope for the best. i was raised by a single mother with just me and my sister, and yea my mom always did those things that she thought was right in her eyes as far as teching me to become a man. but it does definitely make a difference for boy to be raised by his father or a strong male figure in his life.

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  Posted by K.N Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:56am PST

  I have 2 sons (one is 7 yrs and other is 5 yrs). I married and their father is living with us, but he rally spends time with the kids. Most of time I do things myself, even teach them how to kick the ball. Is there anyone of you have the same circumstane like me and I would like get your advice. As some of you say there must be a man for them to look up to. My children have their daddy with them, but I don't he should be the good image for them, but I don't want he to be look bad infront of the children as anyway he is their father. What should I do for the best?

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  Posted by 2 Damn Defiant Sat Jan 10, 2009 3:52am PST

  I mean, you can DO it, that doesn't mean it's to be DONE!

  heII you can drive a car with your FEET if you WANT TO!, that don't make it a good friggin' idea!

  A boy needs to be raised by a MAN in order to BE one.

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  Posted by danai Sat Jan 10, 2009 4:15am PST

  I am sure hoping so. My son is 5 and we have been on our own since he was 1 and 1/2. I figure as long as he is loved it will all be ok.

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  Posted by Stacy Ski Volunteer Sat Jan 10, 2009 5:03am PST

  I loved reading all the posts. This is great feedback. I, too, am a single 365/24/7 mom of a son (12). It is a tough job, but very rewarding. I have doubted my own abilities from time to time, but I never give up.

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