Having said that, I STILL love the Duggars because of what they stand for. Their values make me want to improve the way I handle my own family relations. It's made me think twice when I purchase clothing for my daughter. I've made a point to look for outfits that allow her to look her age -- not like a preschooler going on 17. I've become more patient. I've attempted to become more organized. And, most importantly, I've made a strong effort to connect more frequently with my husband. Do we sit around the dining room table to pray and study the Bible each day? No. But, we talk. Whether it's at the dinner table or after our daughter is in bed, we've both tried to make more time to share what's on our mind. And the bottom line is, it's been wonderful. I've shared with him how much I admire and respect what he does for our family. He's told me that he appreciates how hard I'm working both in and out of the home.
Recently, I found the values that hang on the Duggar wall:
- Always use soft words, even when you don’t feel well.
- Always display kind actions, even if you have been mistreated.
- Show joyful attitudes even when no one else is looking.
- Have sincere motives with no thought of self-gain.
- Think pure thoughts.
- Always give a good report of others.
- Never tale bear unless physical harm will come to someone.
- Never raise a hand to hit or a foot to kick.
- Never raise an object to throw.
- Never raise a voice to yell.
- Never raise an eye to scowl.
- Use one toy/activity at a time.
- Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don’t go to bed angry or guilty.)
- J.O.Y. — make serving your family a priority — put Jesus first, others second, yourself last.
I printed it out and hung it in our kitchen -- where all of us pass through frequently. To me, it's a wonderful reminder to honor the Golden Rule and do unto others.
So, do I plan on having 17 more children to try to "catch up" to Mrs. Duggar? No, we're very happy with one and would feel blessed with two. Nor do I feel a need to give up one my "guilty pleasures" and stop watching American Idol. I can't seem to part with listening to upbeat music on the way to work. I still enjoy the occasional glass of wine with my husband when we're celebrating a rare dinner date at our favorite Italian restaurant. And, my kiddo and I won't stop dancing to our favorite silly songs. But, as a family, the Duggars have influenced us to take the time to stop, think and listen. And, there's nothing wrong with that.
Have the Duggars changed the way you feel about your own family? Have they persuaded you to take more time with one another? I'm wondering if there are any other moms like myself who have fallen in love with the wholesome Duggar values...I can't be alone in this!
