I have several specific points I'd like to address in this
post, regarding stay at home parenting.
Note that this post is not meant to belittle in any way,
Mother's or Fathers who both work, and either by choice, or
necessity enroll their children in daycare. This is just something
I find interesting, and I'd like to highlight, what I've
learned, and studied as an educator for the last 23 years in
terms of parenting styles.
Also note, that I understand that there are always exceptions to
every rule, or trend. I fully realize that children in daycare,
good daycare or pre-schools, can and do thrive and become great
students.
Note that when I say "stay at home" parent, what I mean
is, and Active parent. One who becomes and stays involved in their
child's life.
I'll bullet several points and then discuss them:
1. Children who have a stay at home parent, perform better
academically.
2. Children who have a stay at home parent, are less aggressive,
and less likely to become bullies.
3. Children who have a stay at home parent who is present when they
arrive home from school , are less likely, to take drugs or
be involved in gang activity than those that are alone after
school.
4. They are generally, in my experience, better adjusted and have
more respect for authority, when an active parent is there for them
at home.
I have included a link below to an article that cites several
university studies. It would appear, that even though kids in
daycare, are not always lagging behind in cognitive and other
skills, children with a stay at home mom, do tend to do better in
that arena. This is because they receive one on one attention with
a primary caregiver ie.. Mom or Dad.
I realize that this is a hot topic, and there are many out there
who would argue the opposite, and that there are studies , that
"show" that daycare kids have the advantage. I would like
to say however, that in my experience, as a teacher for 23 years,
kids that have an active, good parent at home, are usually
better students than those who were in daycare from the
beginning. This has only been my observation, and I'm not
excluding the thought, that plenty of daycare kids are also great
students. They can be and are. But, on the whole, it's my
experience, that the former, have the advantage.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/68604/working_moms_is_it_worth_it_why_its.html?cat=4
This next link below, is to an article in the New York Times, and
highlights researchers that conducted the longest study yet, on
children in daycare, and the correlation it appears to have with
being aggressive and disobedient. According to this study,
kids in daycare were Three times more likely to exhibit behavioral
problems, than their counterparts who are cared for at home by a
parent.
The whole article can be found below. And again, there are always
exceptions to this rule. But the evidence is clear, that daycare
kids have more behavioral issues on the whole.
http://www.nytimes.com/2001/04/19/health/19CHIL.html
This last link, shows the correlation between kids that are alone
after school versus those who have an afterschool program, or a
parent, to supervise them. This concept is a bit obvious.
Kids who are alone, after school are far more likely to commit
crimes, do drugs, engage in sexual activity and get into any other
kind of trouble to include gang activity.
http://www.ed.gov/pubs/SafeandSmart/chapter1.html
The peak hours for child and teen crime, and most unwanted
pregnancies to occur, is between 3 pm, and 6 pm... when the parents
are not at home, or the child is not at an afterschool program.
Again, this one is fairly obvious.
In conclusion, what we can all take away from this, is that our
children need us. They need us to learn, grow, accomplish, and be
productive. They also need our guidance, our love, our discipline,
and our time. What appears to be true, is that they
desperately need us to raise them, whether that is in conjuction
with a daycare or pre-school program, or at home one on one. The
one point that resonates, is that they need us.
There used to be a time in this country, when daycare was
virtually unheard of, all kids were raised at home. They played
outside, had friends, attended churches or synagogues and were
plenty socialized. And oddly enough, they all turned out
to be well adjusted, productive members of society.
I think we can all agree that children are our most
precious resource, they are the future. This sounds cliche, but it
is so true.
User post: What are the real advantages of having a stay at home parent?
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From the Community…
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Posted by Sat Aug 8, 2009 10:46am PDT
Report Abuseaikidoman-- great post. This just reiterates what I have always wanted to do for my children. I know that, financially, and otherwise, I am very lucky to be able to stay at home with my son. I feel terribly for women who want to stay home, but can't work it out financially. Obviously, putting a roof over their heads and food on the table are the #1 priority, so if, say, they are a single parent, staying home is not an option. I could not imagine dropping my infant off with strangers to raise him for 8, or so, hours a day, who also have other children to care for. This is why my heart goes out to moms (or dads) who HAVE to do it.
You are a wonderful teacher and really care about your students. I wish there were more like you. Thank you for teaching and nurturing our future!
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Posted by Sat Aug 8, 2009 10:57am PDT
Report AbuseZ's, I thank you very kindly for your compliments.
I share your love of children. I have four of my own, and the joy they bring into a parent's life, is like no other.
My heart also goes out to parents who are left with no alternative. I wish it could be otherwise, but, thankfully, there are some very good programs out there for children, and they can thrive also.
My own children, mean the world to me. But my students, even though they may come and go, year by year, also mean the world to me. They are truly my life's work.
Thanks again for your kind words. I am very glad you stopped by!
Take care...
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Posted by Sat Aug 8, 2009 11:04am PDT
Report AbuseThanks CML, I feel the same way.
I wish we could all be so lucky, like Z's pointed out, to be able to stay at home with our kids. My wife took time off, from work, and stayed home to raise ours. We feel it was worth it, but we were lucky in that she had saved up quite a bit of money, from her pay.
She works again now and our youngest is 10 almost 11. She rides the bus over to the school I work in, so that she's not alone after school.
It is very nice, being on the same schedule, as my daughter's school.
My middle child, is 16 and he is involved in sports, so he stays at the school sometimes for hours, practicing football. But he comes home after that for homework and dinner. He only goes out with his buddies on the weekends, and participates in study groups.
Our two oldest, 17 and 19 are in college: the younger a freshman (he began school at age 4), and the older a girl, now a sophomore. They share a nice two bedroom apartment there, and that gives me piece of mind. Also, they are not too far from home, as they choose to go to school in our home state. I was happy about that! hahaha...
Thanks again CML and Z's... have a great Saturday!
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Posted by Sat Aug 8, 2009 11:10am PDT
Report Abusesorry that should have read, they "Chose", not they "choose".
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Posted by Sat Aug 8, 2009 7:04pm PDT
Report AbuseHi Akidoman,
I agree with your post. I remember the times when my mom worked and the times when she was a stay at home parent and it was very hard on me while she was working. I think my school work suffered and it was very stressful being shuffled between sitters and my two parents. Obviously , some people have no choice but it is better for the child to have a parent there all the time.
I can't find CML. I think her account was deleted. I hope she opens up a new one. It must have to do with the number of posts reported. Please come back CML.
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Posted by Sat Aug 8, 2009 7:18pm PDT
Report AbuseHi sunny, I am still here. At least my posts are posting on my blog.
Did this one go through? Let me know if you see it k?
Thanks sunny! You're a doll!
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Posted by Sat Aug 8, 2009 9:03pm PDT
Report AbuseYou couldn't be more right Aik...
Thanks for that. Talk later...
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Posted by Sun Aug 9, 2009 7:00am PDT
Report AbuseGood Morning Aik...
Just thought I'd pop in and say hi. Now that you have a blog I can do that! lol... glad you put one up.
Ready for kids to come back to school, or have they already come back where you are?
We go back officially tomorrow. But hubby has been back for a while now, getting everything ready for them.
Talk to you later...
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