User post: When is okay to meet my boyfriend's kid?

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  Posted by Katie Thu Oct 22, 2009 11:09am PDT

  You will now when you are ready to meet her.

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  Posted by *GoldenGirl*™ Thu Oct 22, 2009 11:36am PDT

  I think if you are in a serious committed relationship then its time you meet the child, he may want to see how you interact with her, so just spend a little time with them and let the relationship move forward. Good Luck.

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  Posted by urassismine2 Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:08pm PDT

  When you finish your "interview process" with him, and that may take months, then you can maybe have a sit down with him to lay down the bounderies involved, because that childs mama is most certainly seriouly seeking reasons,...for anything that isn't up to her personal motherly standard, around "her" child. Irregardless, of what his assumptions are with his daughter, that childs custodial parent "TRUMPS" all cards on the table. if not planned, talked about prior, permission given, and assurances conveyed before you meet the "baby', there can be "mama drama" issues that you just don't need in your life. The "interview process", with him, should be the first part of the recipe that you complete, before moving into the introduction of "another" impressionable human being, that is going to create attachment issues in you even further...Just a thought..

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  Posted by Onesexywhisper2you Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:15pm PDT

  I think you should meet her right away because as a single mother of 5 myself.My kids matter to me and so does the fact that whoever I meet or date that my kids like them as well.My kids are older so the play a few games but it matters to me on how someone interacts with them and how that person treats them.

  It may also let him know that you have the compassion, your caring and that you do want to be part of his family and maybe one day you'll have lil ones of your own.Besides,at that age they are so much fun and so innocent.Remember,the babys mom may not like it at first,I didn't like another woman around my kids at first either.It's just a mom's worry that they might not be treated right,but she will get over it!! Just show love to the baby and treat her right the mom will come around,I promise you that.Even I did! The more LOVE the better when it comes to kids.GOOD LUCK to you and GOD BLESS!!!

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  Posted by siri Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:21pm PDT

  How long have you both been together and how long ago did he break up with the child's mom? His little girl is not even two and although he's not opposed to you meeting her - it's his time, quality time to spend with his little girl... I hope you understand it's not about you but he's inviting you to meet her when this is his time to spend with her. He needs to show responsibility... Responsible not meaning lets stop by grandmas or aunties so... They could help take care of you. Sorry but I'm all for men taking care of their responsibilities and not using their sweet baby's face to recruit in some much needed help. Sorry, but I've seen many "new" dads do this and it's really not fair. Get to know him better and when you're ready... Feel comfortable by all means meet her. Good luck to you!

  I

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  Posted by mnrawker Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:50pm PDT

  I would say wait. One month is not long enough to be serious enough about meeting his kid.

  I am single with kids, and I don't plan on letting them meet my kids until 6 months has gone by. It is confusing enough for them to have dad not around, let alone dragging guys through my house and letting them get attached only to find out that it wasn't going to work. When you are ready, you will know and he should respect that.

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  Posted by Pierre Thu Oct 22, 2009 2:58pm PDT

  amanda thank you for your comment to my post. to be honest im 22 and have a four year old son and i would have no problem with my partner meeting my child just treat them as you would any other child, like a sibling. but dont let that keep you from moving forward with your partner, the only time to ask yourself these kinds of questions is later on if the child starts seeing you as another mother figure.move forward and best of wishes.

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  Posted by AimeeM Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:50pm PDT

  Not until you are sure that you are BOTH committed to the realtionship. Its not fair to the child to become attached to you and then you disappear from his/her life.

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  Posted by marijo Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:53pm PDT

  I kind of agree with Aimee on this one. Children are very observant and they pick up and understand far more than alot of people give them credit for. I have two young children 9 and 7 and when my now husband and I first began going out they were 3 and 9 monthes. Naturally I told him that I had kids and their ages. He too said that he was okay with kids and I knew he was but I still needed that time for us to bond and to decide for sure that we weren't just a phase. After 5 or 6 monthes of dating I introduced him to my kids and they bonded immediately! We were married after going out for 14 monthes and he adopted the kids. They never really knew their biological father,he was in and out of our lives so much. He also loved his drugs. Now they both call my husband daddy and he loves them like they were his own. I was lucky to find someone like him. There are so many phony men out there that will indeed use their kids to get dates, I'm not saying that your guy is like that, and they end up confusing their kids immensely. So all I can tell you is just make sure that the two of you are serious before stepping into motherhood. Not only for your benefit but for his daughters'. Good luck and I truely hope you have found your happiness!

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  Posted by Sara P. Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:15pm PDT

  I was with someone who after a year was still ify about meeting mine. I waited until about 6 months until I brought up the question. He knew from the very beginning that I had a child and how old he was. I would say when you feel right and dont feel like this is going to be some sort of fling then go for it because little kids are smarter then we know...My son is three and I made the mistake of introducing him to my ex..My son still askes about him and when hes coming over. It does break my heart cause he did like him but the guy I was dating at the end he wanted me to pick him over my son and I told him that wasnt happeneing and goodbye!

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