Parenting

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Ways to Bribe - Um, Sorry - Reward Your Kids

Because we all know that you do it … don’t lie! How to use rewards and bribes to encourage good behavior, plus 5 cheap treats for kids.
- Carrie Vining Spanier, BettyConfidential.com
Bribes, rewards; call it what you may, if you are the parent of a toddler or young child, chances are you do it, ummm, daily, if you are anything like me! Listen, we all have to do what we need to in order to get through our action-packed days. Whether it’s a trip to the grocery store or simply getting out the door to work and school … bottom line, stuff has to get done! On a positive note, our kids also need to feeeeel (insert whine) like they are in control (even though we like to think we are!) and that they’re doing a good job. Why not grease the (big) wheels, and help cut down on the whining and the bellyaching. Read on to find out a few ironclad ways to set up a system to reward – and encourage – good behavior. So everyone’s happier.

Read: Find Your Inner Child

• The Ol’ Standby: Sticker Charts!
Tried and true, sticker charts (aka behavior modification charts) are a staple in many toddler-run households. They are used as positive reinforcement to help change a behavior or – ahem – to bribe. Experts recommend sticking with one behavior at a time – just pick the one that’s really turning your hair gray. For each day the child demonstrates the correct behavior, she receives a sticker that is placed lovingly on the chart. After the week is completed, a reward is given. Voila. Personally, I find this works like a charm with my 3-year-old. A great resource for sticker charts is stickercharts.com where you can find ready to print charts. The work is already done for you. Game, match, point – Mom!

• The Treasure Chest
Many savvy mommies advocate getting the kids involved in the bribe. Donna Dempsey, 35, mother of two, suggests, “Take an old shoe box, have the kids decorate it and fill it with all kinds of little things and call it the treasure chest. When they are well behaved, or you need to bribe them, have them pick an item from it. Works like a charm!” A great place to go for said “little things” is www.orientaltrading.com, an online mega store full of cheap trinkets and toys guaranteed to steer your kid into “good behavior land!”

• Money, Money, Money
As the old saying goes: Cash is King! Kids as young as 3 are well aware of the importance and value of the dollar; just ask any kid the going rate for the tooth fairy. Can you say inflation? Sheesh. No, I’m not saying you have to throw dollar bills at your kids when they “do good.” Get creative people! Teach those kids a thing or two about saving! Katie Calautti, 33, remembers her childhood bribing system well: “My mom used to make hand-written coupons for me that I could cash in whenever I wanted. Stuff like: a movie in the theater, dessert for dinner, trip to the park, a round of miniature golf, etc. It was super smart of her because it was a cheap present that also made me feel like I had control. It worked, too - oh, did it work.” Along the same lines, fake gold coins, pretend money and even real money all can be given as incentives and for future trade-ins for The Big One, the big thing your kid has his eyeballs on. And remember, mommy giveth, mommy can taketh away.

There’s no reason to head into the poorhouse while trying to bribe or break your kid from bad behavior. Explore your local Dollar Store, Target, Party City (just don’t bring your kids – you will never, ever leave), etc. for bargains. Trust me, they are a-plenty! However, if you’re reading this and thinking, “C’mon, I don’t have time to think! I have three kids, I’m potty training one, burping one and bathing the other, just tell me a few good bribes!” Well sister, you are in luck. Read on for a list of five good kid-pleasers, all for under $10.00.

1. Crayola Color Wonder Activity Pad and Marker Assortment, $9.99
Take this little gem along on a trip or even out to dinner and whip it out if necessary. Best part, no mess. Enough said.

2. Bubble Ooodles, $6.00 and refills for $3.50
Hands down, the BEST bubbles ever. They aren’t very messy and the bubbles last. I find myself going nuts alongside my kids over these. Literally.

3. Silly Straw Eyeglasses, $1.99
"These clear, plastic-tubing faux-specs start in your soda, wrap around your ears and eyes, sit on your nose and end up in your mouth. You slurp and your drink zips around your face and into your yap." Prepare for your Coolest Mom Ever award.

4. Girls Play Makeup by Little Earths Beauty, $4.50
A little lip-gloss, a little body glitter … all goes a long way in getting what you want out of your little princess.

5. Pack of 5 Matchbox Cars, $4.99
No list of cheap bribes/rewards would be complete without this old standby! What little kid doesn’t like a bunch of cars? And at that price! We’re sold.

In a perfect world our kids will cooperate with us most of the time. And when they stray, a hug and a kiss would suffice. And then we wake up …

Carrie Vining Spanier lives in New York, is a mother of two and has a Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Education.



To read more from BettyConfidential | Should You Kiss In Front of Your Kids?

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Comments 1-10 of 40
  • Coug Girl's Avatar
    Posted by Coug Girl Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:13am PST

    Stickers do not work for my son, but loose change does. Whether it's getting him to brush his teeth, or potty in the potty, change does the trick. Candy, too, though I try to keep that to a minimum.

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  • Joy in Seattle's Avatar
    Posted by Joy in Seattle Thu Nov 19, 2009 2:28pm PST

    My daughter has always been very treat oriented, especially since we're a no candy household. So, if I promise her some delish treat if she's good, she will go for it every time!

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  • DMLady's Avatar
    Posted by DMLady Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:24am PST

    well good luck with that when the child gets older and expects a "reward" for doing his/her homework. it's reasons like these that today's work force are filled with young people who expect a special "reward" just for showing up to work and doing their job - obviously, their paycheck isn't a big enough "reward". And how do they develop these wonderful work habits? By having their parents "reward" them their entire lives simply so that that they can get work done.

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  • Joy in Seattle's Avatar
    Posted by Joy in Seattle Fri Nov 20, 2009 1:08pm PST

    Actually, DMLady, you're entirely wrong. What is the entire reason we work? What is it? MONEY! Trust me, we're reward based as adults.

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  • Freddie's Avatar
    Posted by Freddie Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:05pm PST

    MY ELEVEN YEAR OLD FEELS LIKE SHE SHOULD NOT BATH OR SHOWER. INSTEAD SHE LIES ABOUT IT AND WHEN I GET HOME FROM WORK THE WHOLE UPSTAIRS STINKS. I HAVE TO SIT IN THE BATHROOM AND WATCH HER SHOWER. I REALLY NEED HELP. ANYNSUGGESTIONS?

    Report Abuse
  • DMLady's Avatar
    Posted by DMLady Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:40pm PST

    No, Joy, I am not wrong and you obviously did not read my post (very well). Yes, we ALL go to work to be rewarded with a paycheck - if we didn't we'd either be called volunteers or slaves. But many youth of today expect more than a paycheck. They expect praise just for walking in the door. They expect praise and rose petals thrown at their feet after performing a simple task - like replacing the paper in the copy machine. I've dealt with these wonderful people first hand so I do know what I'm talking about. That was my point. Maybe you should read it again...slowly.

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  • jen's Avatar
    Posted by jen Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:49pm PST

    Freddie good hygeine is a must. Have you tried scaring here with horror stories like yeast infections. she is a girl and probably due to start her monthly cycle. This needs to be fixed quickly.

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  • Robyn's Avatar
    Posted by Robyn Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:40pm PST

    does she have friends freddie ? maybe they could help to mention that she has a slite oder that is undesirable

    Report Abuse
  • education_mom's Avatar
    Posted by education_mom Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:25am PST

    Money is not the best way to reward kids - I prefer time with friends or more play time..

    Report Abuse
  • tin-tin's Avatar
    Posted by tin-tin Sat Nov 21, 2009 1:08pm PST

    I am totally with you DMLady and education_mom!

    Report Abuse
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