"And my dad always told me whatever decision you make, make sure you stick to it. If you can't stick to it, don't do it. So when I left home I stayed gone. I never came back."
There's this girl, well she's not a girl anymore. She's much older now. But when she was a girl, she made some bad decisions. She did drugs. She slept with men for money. And the thing is, she left home because she was looking for something, for love. And she looked for the love in drugs. She looked for the love in men. And she didn't find it.
But here's the thing. That lovely advice was what her dad had gave her. She was just fifteen when she left. And because of this advice, she felt like she had made her bed, and she had to lie in it. I can't help but wonder what could've happened if she felt like she could have a redo. I wonder what could've happened if she could turn sixteen, realize that she's not finding what she left home for, and she turn around and go home. And her parents could pretend like nothing happened. And they could greet her with open arms, and a warm meal and cozy bed, and tell her that they love her and no matter what she's done, it's okay. Because she learned. And she came back. And maybe, if all that had happened, and the girl went to sleep in her old bed and felt safe and got up the next day and went back to her normal life...if all that happened, maybe now her mistake, the dumb mistake she made when she was 15, wouldn't matter so much. And maybe she wouldn't be 40 today and still be sleeping with men for drugs.
Parents, I urge you. Never turn your back on your kids. Never tell them that there's a point of no return. There's a reason why you're the parents and they are the kids. It's because they will make mistakes. And you will have to forgive them. And you will need to bring them back. It will require a lot of hand-holding. But without it, you might lose your kids forever. So please, don't ever tell your kids that they have to live with their decisions for the rest of their lives. Reassure them that no matter what, they can always come home.
What to never, EVER, tell your daughter...
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Comments 1-7 of 7
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Posted by Fri Sep 12, 2008 12:32am PDT
Report Abuseanother one to NOT tell your daughter is that a prince charming will come along and rescue them one day!! good blog 4real!! lol peace
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Posted by Fri Sep 12, 2008 12:46am PDT
Report AbuseI couldn't imagine ever doing that to my kids. My step-mom was like that and it really screws with you. Thanks for sharing that. Sometimes I evan have fantasies of us all living together after they're grown. Some cultures are like that. I respect the bonds. Sometimes it seems like the cultural family is disentigrating.
annie
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Posted by Fri Sep 12, 2008 1:01am PDT
Report AbuseWell I agree with you, but than life kicks in the door on this fantasy. There are things that alot of us would tell them to deal with it on their own. Take this story for what you will, there is a military family, they live a comfortable life. Strict father and relaxed mother, a good balance. Well when their daughter is grown and moved out of the house she has two kids. One day the oldest of her daughters is called to the office, for some reason I don't know, and one of the office ladies puts her hand on the little girls back and the girl flopped all over the place. So this got them to wonder why and they had her lift up her shirt, she was beaten so bad that it was hard to find the color of skin. The school reported the situation and both of the girls were out of there home that day. The mother of the little girl eventualy had to tell the rest of the family. The grandparents loved those little girls so much they could not deal with their own daughter. So they told her to go and not to keep in touch.
Idon't know what you would do but I agree with them to.
Specialist
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Posted by Fri Sep 12, 2008 5:29am PDT
Report AbuseHello,
Life is tough all over. My name is on this, and I have had my share of ups and downs. I am learned a lot, and while I try to be open, to figure s--- out, I constantly keep getting my ass shot off.
I am certainly no saint, and if that means the thought police have to isolate me for the rest of my life, then I guess I am in trouble, because I am a loser, unfortunately, and have a long road of suffering ahead. However, I would suggest laying off the deception, because it forces me to act out and be deceptive in childish ways.
;lakf;aos
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Posted by Fri Sep 12, 2008 10:49pm PDT
Report AbuseParents should absolutely never turn their backs on their kids. It's all about maintaining open communication, communication, communication! The part of the story where you describe:
"And they could greet her with open arms, and a warm meal and cozy bed, and tell her that they love her and no matter what she's done, it's okay. Because she learned. And she came back."
...reminds me of the prodigal son story from the Bible--how his father celebrates his son's return.
Parents need to be there for their kids and should never be afraid to talk about anything with them. I wrote a blog about this topic that's geared towards the parents of tweens/teens today. Check it out if you're interested: http://buzz.prevention.com/community/holly-mom/the-road-to-puberty%e2%80%a6
Best of luck to you.
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Posted by Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:39pm PDT
Report AbuseThanks for all the comments. HBowne, I completely agree with you. Although I'm a Muslim and the primary book of worship I read is the Quran, I liked that you brought in the lesson of the prodigal son. Thanks for putting the religious spin on it!
Comments 1-7 of 7
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