Parenting

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

When A Child is Sick It Puts Miracles in Perspective

It’s been a rough week. My husband is out of town, leaving me with three kids and a schedule that consists of two baseball games, two baseball practices, one basketball game, one basketball practice, yoga (for kids, not for me, sadly), Girl Scouts cookie sales, a Powerpoint presentation (for kids, not for me, luckily), and countless play dates. The Barnacle (read: baby) has taken to waking up in the night, screaming, and my 10-year-old son has the stomach flu—or some form of baseball aversion.

I’ve been feeling pretty darned sorry for myself.

And then I get a call from a friend. Her niece has a lump on the back of her head. She can’t move her right arm. They have to do surgery. She’s seven years old--the same age as my middle daughter.

My fingers immediately move to the scar tissue on my neck. Four years ago, after an inconclusive MRI, a surgeon cut me open from the front of my ear to the back, lifted my ear out of the way, and continued about half-way down my neck. He dissected the nerves in my face to find the lump behind them, which turned out to be a benign growth resulting from scar tissue that probably built up when I had some sort of infection on my salivary gland as a child.

I’m fine, but there’s still a lump under my skin. It’s sensitive to the touch and will always make me wonder if there’s something suspicious in there that they missed.

When I spoke to my friend a few days later, they told me that the operation had been successful. They’d removed the lump, and her niece had regained movement in her arm. That’s all she knew.

That’s when I got scared. I remember from my own experience that they’d had an oncologist in the operating room. His job was to take the tissue and examine it right then and there. If he saw anything suspicious, the surgeon would go back in, excising all the tissue around where the lump had been in an effort to get all the malignant cells out.

It had been two days since her niece’s operation and my friend hadn’t heard yet whether or not the lump they removed was cancerous.

I spent the next 24 hours thinking about this little girl. Not all the time, but when I picked up the Barnacle in the middle of the night to soothe her. When I watched my middle daughter dance salsa with Elmo. As I saw my son hit a line drive down the middle of the field.

I don’t know my friend’s niece. I’ve never met her. All I can do is hope for her, and pray, if I knew how to do that. And when I meet her one day, I will tell her what she made me remember: That we experience miracles every day—no matter how trying, no matter how long, no matter how much we have to do. There are miracles all around us. And she is one of them.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/savannahgraceevans
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Comments 1-10 of 11
  • Habanero♥™'s Avatar
    Posted by Habanero♥™ Tue Mar 24, 2009 5:49am PDT

    Heart wrenching stories here......both the young niece and yours. I can only say a little prayer for the girl and hope she has a clean bill. Bless you both.

    God give this young child the strength to make it through another

    second, minute, hour and day as each moment is

    a blessing and a triumph from heaven.

    AMEN!

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  • Jett's Avatar
    Posted by Jett Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:40am PDT

    I hope she's all right, too. I know what you mean about perspective. My friend's baby died last week. She was one day old and died in the NICU. She was my friend's first child. I can't imagine what my friend is going through right now. I don't have children, but most of my friends do. We take for granted that pregnancies will go well and labor will result in a perfect child, and all involved will be perfectly safe and healthy, because medically we've come so far. It doesn't always end up that way, though. Every birth — every life — is a miracle, and we should always remember that. My friend had to go home to an empty nursery on Friday and leave her newborn behind. The memorial service is tonight.

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  • desiree's Avatar
    Posted by desiree Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:10am PDT

    wow, your absolutely right, all the things we have to do to mangae our childrens lives and we jsut get it done, because we are parents. then we get told of something so sad and can be so tragic our lives stop for a moment but we have to go on and deal with our children but we never forget about what we were just told. and we may not have known that person or child but we care and wish the best. i hope that child is ok and the lump was not cancer. To jett, just listen and hold your friend. she is in a very bad place right now and it will take lost of time to deal with this tragedy. be there for her thats all you can do, if she needs help with cleaning try, if she can't clean herself- and your that good of a friend then do it for her. i don't think i be able to move and shower get myself dressed if that happened to me. when you have other children you have to learn to take care of yourself so they don't get scared but if it was my first i think i would have just stayed in my room like the way carrie did from sex in the city. just cried and stayed in bed. also she just had the baby so she is still dealing with post partum issues- bleeding... and she doesn't have a baby to look at to make all that pain go away it makes it harder. God blees her and her family!

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  • Sternlips's Avatar
    Posted by Sternlips Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:16am PDT

    Unfortunately, until something horrible happens in your life, we do too often take things for granted big and small. My first pregnancy I delivered 2 beautiful girls at 5 1/2 months, Emma and Lilly were stillborn. I had never known anyone close to me have any problems with their pregnancy, and here I was going thru the most horrible thing. Leaving the hospital empty handed was by far the hardest thing I've ever done. That entire event shifted the way I look at my life. I'm grateful for everything that happens in my life, good or bad! As crazy as that may seem to some, I'm thankful I'm alive, I have a beautiful healthy daughter now, my husband is a good man who loves me...and on the flip side.....I work long hours, but I'm thankful to have a job, my father is very ill, yet I'm thankful for the Dr's taking care of him, the list goes on and on. But had I not gone thru that heartache I don't know that I would be the same person today.

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  • Jennifer's Avatar
    Posted by Jennifer Tue Mar 24, 2009 11:15am PDT

    As parents we often take for granted our healthy, beautiful, and active children. My perspective point was at Disneyland a few years ago, we went to see a show, and my husband and I were just exhausted, and our three year old at the time was driving us nuts. A family was seated next to us, the daughter about the same age as ours was obviously ill, and the parents had shirts on that stated they were at Disneyland as part of the "make a wish" program. My husband and I just hugged our little girl, and made a silent prayer thanking the Lord for our childs health. I still have days when I'm ready to scream, then I remember that little family, and thank God for everything I do have.

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  • Naomi's Avatar
    Posted by Naomi Tue Mar 24, 2009 11:34am PDT

    I truly believe that God puts people or incidents in our lives to cause us to rejoice and celebrate the miracles He does preform. I am so thankful for the little girls progress, but just as important how it touched you life and that it shared it with us. God is good and He sees us through all things. Sure sometimes things don't turn out well, but they happen for a reason. I hope all who read your article will be touched by this miracle as you have been and realize just how blessed we all really are.

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  • rockin' mom's Avatar
    Posted by rockin' mom Tue Mar 24, 2009 11:40am PDT

    I don't know you but I would like to give you a hug. It's always good to point out the good (and maybe irritating) things in life. We too often take things for granted....I hope your friends niece gets over her sickness and that the lump is benign....Warm wishes to you.

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  • Shay's Avatar
    Posted by Shay Tue Mar 24, 2009 4:16pm PDT

    If my eyes suit me right, the little girl in the picture's name is Anna?

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  • janet g's Avatar
    Posted by janet g Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:03pm PDT

    i now whe take things for granted because, 4 years ago i was like that, before Dany was born, we had lots of plans for our life, we wanted two boys an then a girl, but we were going to wait till dany was about 6 to have another child, but dany was born healthy and then he got an infeccion in the hospital nursery, and now he needs a kidney transplant, he just turned 4 last sunday and he is the size of a one year old, he is a survivor hes been at the edge of death more than twice and its still here. We are tired, but we keep going.

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