Parenting

Saturday, November 7, 2009

When Babysitters Experience “Firsts”

Child taking her first steps

By: Sittercity.com

A child's first words, first steps, first smile, first crawl, first anything can happen while a babysitter is on the job.

It's one reason why some parents are so reluctant to leave their children with someone else (babysitter or otherwise). Missing those "firsts" is a difficult thing to come to terms with, as we see with one sitter's story...


The Common Parental Struggle: Missing "Firsts"

A babysitter we know once sat for an 18-month-old boy while his parents went to a wedding. It was the third or fourth time she cared for the child, but it was the first time he was actually awake for more than a few minutes during the job.

Throughout the evening, the little boy kept saying, "Dad-DEEE, dad-DEEE," over and over again. Adorable, right?

When the parents returned, the babysitter said, "I just can't believe how much he's grown even since I last saw him! He's bigger now, he's talking--"

"What!?" the parents said.

The babysitter froze. "Um, he's talking..." she repeated carefully.

"HE SAID HIS FIRST WORD?" The parents were shocked, thrilled, devastated, guilty and proud all at once.


Things for Parents to Remember About Missing Firsts

Missing a "first" brings with it a complex mix of emotions. This is something that sitters and nannies need to be aware of and be sensitive to when they're on the job. It's also something that parents could use some help coping with.

SITTERCITY'S TIPS

Redefine "firsts."
If it's the first time you've seen it, it's a first. Period. Don't obsess over who "really saw it first," since all that does is stir up those negative emotions. Enjoy the experience, live in the moment and celebrate the fact that you're getting to witness such an amazing milestone.

Don't be quick to assume your caregiver truly saw a "first."
In reality, "firsts" are hard to pinpoint. The nanny may swear that she just saw your baby's first smile, but was that really the first time he ever cracked a grin or was it just gas? Did he really say his first word or did he babble something close to a real word? Since you can't be sure, it's all the more reason to celebrate a "first" when YOU see it for yourself.

To continue reading more tips click here



Related:
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From the Community…

Comments 1-7 of 7
  • Malissa's Avatar
    Posted by Malissa Fri Jul 10, 2009 9:38am PDT

    I can relate to this because the first time my son said "mama" he was at daycare. I was happy and upset at the same time because I thought he has said his first word. I realize now that it wasn't really the case because he says it all of the time now along with all of the other things that he babbles but since he doesn't associate me with "mama" yet I'm not counting that as his first word.

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  • jtjunkie's Avatar
    Posted by jtjunkie Fri Jul 10, 2009 9:54am PDT

    I had a standing agreement with our sitter that I didn't want to know about anything she thought was a "first" that way the first time I saw/heard it then it was the first time. Worked out well for me.

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  • JoKTM's Avatar
    Posted by JoKTM Fri Jul 10, 2009 1:49pm PDT

    I was 17 when I had my first day care job and one of the babies said there first word. The mom was upset and an older more experienced co-worker of mine told me "you never tell a parent that they missed a first moment." I worked child care off and on for ten years and stick to that word of wisdom.

    Parents get upset because they feel guilty that they missed a first and as rediculouse we all believe it is its true.

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  • Robyn's Avatar
    Posted by Robyn Fri Jul 10, 2009 4:53pm PDT

    sadly ive been in that position and have experienced many firsts, my rule to myself was that i told the parents that the child is trying to say..... or the child is trying to stand or walk on their own , that way if it happens later that day or week they have the first.

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  • bookluva's Avatar
    Posted by bookluva Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:36pm PDT

    I was watching my cousin, and he kept saying clap and clapping. Then he said no a couple times. when my aunt got back, I told her how cute he was and how smart that he knew four words so fast after the first (the others being dada and bannana)..Turns out, she had only heard him say bannana...and I had thought dada was first..since I had heard it a couple weeks earlier. awkward!

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  • iza's Avatar
    Posted by iza Tue Jul 14, 2009 5:32am PDT

    this post helped me pin point why i was feeling apprehensive about my child being babysat.. i'm so happy when she does something for the first time, i'd probably be one of those parents that take it hard if that happens..

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  • Rebecca's Avatar
    Posted by Rebecca Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:32am PDT

    If I didn't see it, it didn't happen. Whatever my daycare provider says kiddo did or didn't do that day, I just ignore it. When I see it, then we celebrate and get all excited. And not until then, period.

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