The mom, one arm loaded with tube socks and men's khaki pants and the other flipping past swimsuit after swimsuit, had her phone wedged to her ear with her shoulder. Her attention seemed everywhere, but the conversation was clearly about prom. Or more specifically, post-prom activities at her house.
"Well, yes," she said so most of us in the women's department could hear her, "but our kids are good kids. They get good grades and don't get in trouble. They're not trouble-makers! I'm sure they will just want to come back and watch movies and crash on the floor after prom, which is so responsible of them! They're good kids!"
She sounded more like she was convincing herself than the other mom obviously on the line. She went on to explain which kids from her son's group would be there and how she wouldn't let them drive too late and how many sleeping bags and air mattresses they had in the house. She nodded and rolled her eyes and then smiled a courtesy smile as the other mom responded and I tried not to stare.
When the conversation was mercifully over, a large, loping kid carrying more pairs of khakis came over and did a "wassup?" head tilt at the cell phone mother, now completely overloaded. With clothes and irritation.
"MICHAEL!," she attempted to quietly yell, "you've got to tell me all the kids who are coming over and what they are telling their parents! You're going to get me in trouble with their parents! I don't want to keep covering for you."
I can't decide whether I hope she heard me gasp or not. But I did. And probably at the same decibel level as her previous conversation. I felt the same as I do when I pull up at a stoplight and see that the kid in the car next to me isn't strapped into a car seat or even a seatbelt. I was horrified.
She was lying? To the other parent? Then who was in charge? Was getting away with whatever was planned (and whatever was "planned") for after prom worth all that? And what in the world would you do if you were either parent in the situation?
Since it was prom and most of us probably have some bad prom behavior in our background, I can only assume the trifecta of drinking, drugging and doing are involved. And while that seemed logical to most of my friends when I was a senior, I see it a liiiiiitle more cautiously now that I'm a parent.
I thought of all this today when I read this article about when to rat out tweens or teens to their parents when you witness bad behavior. The question is interesting and the comments are certainly heated. But it makes me wonder, is it just as important to talk about when it's time to tattle on another parent?
I am not the parent of a tween or teen, but one day I will be. My son isn't going to prom anytime soon, but the dating and hair gel gods willing, one day he will be. And while I've certainly done things as a parent I swore I'd never do, like sit my kid in front of Elmo for an hour so I can be on a conference call in peace or let him wear a Cars t-shirt three days in a row, I hope I don't ever find myself acting out this gasp-able situation when my son's in his teens. I also pray that the parents of his friends know better too.
Am I being naive? Or was this prom cover-up tame or tattle-worthy?
What would you do if you found out another parent was enabling kids' post-prom partying? Would you call other parents and tell them what's going on? Or would you just make your own child sit this one out?
I guess it comes down to this: When is it OK for one parent to tattle on another?
[photo credit: Getty Images]
