Where is my instruction book?

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  Posted by Superlativity Tue Oct 7, 2008 9:57am PDT

  Do you discipline her? Whatever form of discipline you choose, you have to be consistent with it, and if you haven't really disciplined her before, it may be really tough to start now. If you have been, you might try different methods, just be sure not to stop altogether. Good luck!

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  Posted by Bellisima Tue Oct 7, 2008 10:00am PDT

  My daughter is 23yrs old.

  But I think my advice, is to sit down with her and talk. No baby talk. I myself do not believe in baby talk (sorry)Just talk to her as a little person she is. No battles of the will either. That just wants to make them go for the gusto, LOL!!

  I'm not sure what is the issues, that she has, maybe it's school, or friends, that's where you come in my friend, but again do not yell or loose it.

  Kids will act upon what they see.

  I wish you the best. :) I agree they should give us "instructions for baby" on the maternity ward LOL!!!! that's cute.

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  Posted by Superlativity Tue Oct 7, 2008 10:02am PDT

  Oh, and ignore those people saying she's spoiled if they don't have any constructive advice to offer, they're not the ones raising her. Also, while it's not an instruction manual, my daughter's pediatrician gave us the "Caring for your baby and young child" book by Steven Shelov, it has some good tips in it.

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  Posted by jsand203 Tue Oct 7, 2008 10:02am PDT

  The one thing I have learned with my 3, is 99% of their behavior is learned. You really have to take a hard look at yourself and others that she spends the majority of her time with. Not just in behavior towards her, but how you and the others interact with the rest of the world. The hardest thing for a parent to do is accept they have spoiled their child and created this monster. I caught a lot of heat for this next comment but here goes. Bust her a$$, take away toys and privileges, talking with our children works to an extent. Spare the rod spoil the child. Since this don't spank new age culture has begun our kids are running wild. I spank mine once in a three month period maybe, but they know I am not afraid to do it. Consequences are the key, your her mother you decide what they are. Just make the severe at first, and you will see the change

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  Posted by SBD Tue Oct 7, 2008 10:06am PDT

  If everyone tells you she is spoiled,she probably is.The best cure is to spank her butt when she misbehaves and let her know who is in charge.It won't take long for her to learn.I have five kids and they all know to do what they are told and act like they should.

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  Posted by mistyforquer Tue Oct 7, 2008 11:00am PDT

  just ignore the people who are saying that she is spoiled she's your daughter and you have every right to give and provide for her as much as you want. I understand what you are going through though my daugter was very hard to handle at ages 4-6 i came to realize that talking to her and letting her know that this is not acceptable behavior and i won't tolerate it helped alot. if this doesn't help then try sending her to her room and not to come out until she has calmed down and is ready to apologize for hurting your feelings

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  Posted by simpson Tue Oct 7, 2008 11:05am PDT

  I disagree with the spanking advice. If, as the woman above says, that 99% of bad behaviour is learned, then spanking them is teaching them that hitting is ok. It's not. It's not ok to hit a child. Most all pediatricians and child experts say the same thing. Try alternatives, like taking away privileges. It works for me.

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  Posted by AngelamB Wed Oct 8, 2008 7:33am PDT

  I myself have a 6 yr old. I also have been struggling with behavioral issues. And i totally agree with you! These children, heart of our hearts, gods gift, wonderful reminders of adolesent childhood, CAN REALLY MISBEHAVE!! lol

  I never thought i would feel so out of control. And it should not be a power struggle. I went to my daughters school and met with the social worker thinking if she was misbehaving at home what is she doing at school? The woman was very helpful and gave me a book that worked wonders...Its called 123 magic. Try and go to your local book store and take a gander at it...You wouldnt believe the outcome..no more raising your voice (yelling til your eyes are blood shot lol) no repeating yourself...and best of all! You really start enjoying your time with your kids again...like the good ole days when mom was always right and fun and fresh!

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  Posted by momjoy Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:47pm PDT

  Aaargh! I wish people would stop misinterpreting "spare the rod." The "rod" was used to guide and protect the sheep...not beat them! This quote means don't neglect your duty to guide and protect your children. Discipline is a required part of guiding a child and can be done without physical punishment. I am no expert, but consistent rules and consequences (and a whole lot of grace) seem to be somewhat effective in or home. A book our pediatrician recommended that helped stop power struggles and tantrums for us was "Magic 123"

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