Okay, when I got married, I knew about this situation that I am talking about. I knew that it didn't make sense to me and I thought that maybe I could correct it through time either before I got married or a bit after, but it still isn't making sense to me at all.
My husband has a child from a previous marriage and pays child support as well as recently supplying half of the insurance for his son. The mother, who by law has primary custody of their son, doesn't have their son and she receives the money from the child support. That would be fine to me, if his son lived with her. HOWEVER!!! This is not really completely her fault. It is, but it isn't. She has told my husband that she has planned to remarry and they have a baby together. No big deal to me really. That is nice if it happens. He has quite a few other kids from previous relationships. The point of the matter is, my husband's ex-wife doesn't have their son. Her mother and grandmother do. And my husband doesn't get to see his son regulary. One reason is my husband's work schedule. He is supposed to get him every other weekend, but since he doesn't have that off, he doesn't get to see him. Also, for Easter, my husband tried to get him for a few hours so he could take his son to see his other grandparents (mine included) and they (my step-son's guardians) said we had no right to try because they had plans when they knew my husband was gonna get him for a few hours. They have even told my husband that they are trying to fight for sole custody (going over their own daughter to keep my step-son from her) and threaten my husband with the cops and such. We can't afford a lawyer or anything like that and I get free legal advice from a friend of mine who is a cop but he can't really step in and do anything without getting more involved than what he really needs to. So, I am kind of stuck. I am more venting than anything, but would still like to know what to do. My husband also paid money to his ex before they were divorced (just as of October of this last year) and I told him that was a really bad idea, and he found out the hard way that is was. Anybody ever have this happen to them? What does one do? I want to work with his ex so we can get this fixed. Also, every time we were supposed to get his son, they (the ex in-laws) would tell us that he was sick. This child is ALWAYS sick. "He has a runny nose, but no fever. He can't go outside, he might pass out". True for anyone, right? Same crap happens all the time. They tell my husband that he has no right to see his son. Anyone please! Help me! If I win the lottery, I am getting the best lawyer and this won't happen anymore. I can promise that. Thanks for listening.
Why don't I get it...
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Posted by Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:05am PDT
Report AbuseOh no, your husband has the paternal right to see his child. Legally the grandmother or whoever has him doesn't have any rights because the mother is supposed to have custody hence him still paying her child support and not the guardians. He can actually call the cops on them! Honestly, this situation is just a little messy. As long as your husband doesn't have a record of being an unsafe parent you should't have a hard time fighting this. I think you should record a phone conversation with the inlaws denying your husband to see his child. Wit strong evidence like that you can fight the case yourself and wouldn't need a lawyer.
Good Luck
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Posted by Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:42am PDT
Report AbuseHe can file a complaint with the Court himself without a lawyer. All he has to do is go to the local courthouse and see the Circuit Clerk. They will have forms for him to fill out. Are they in the same state? I think recording someone without their knowledge is illegal.
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Posted by Wed Apr 23, 2008 10:57am PDT
Report AbuseI'm no legal expert, but it does sound like the grandparents are way outta bounds on this one. It sounds like your husband's ex is a reasonable person. Maybe the best way (trying to keep this situation as civil as possible) is to sit down with her and try to work something out. If this doesn't work or you would like some back-up, try going to a website like http://www.freeadvice.com/. This isn't a substitute for legal advice, of course, but it should give you some important information and help you make the next decisions. I wish you luck!! :D
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Posted by Wed Apr 23, 2008 10:57am PDT
Report AbuseI'm no legal expert, but it does sound like the grandparents are way outta bounds on this one. It sounds like your husband's ex is a reasonable person. Maybe the best way (trying to keep this situation as civil as possible) is to sit down with her and try to work something out. If this doesn't work or you would like some back-up, try going to a website like http://www.freeadvice.com/. This isn't a substitute for legal advice, of course, but it should give you some important information and help you make the next decisions. I wish you luck!! :D
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Posted by Wed Apr 23, 2008 11:58am PDT
Report AbuseYou need to have him file for enforcement of visitation. If the mother doesn't have the child he can file for custody of his son. He take precedence over the maternal grandparents. Make sure you document everything that is said, dates, times, etc. Get OCD about it. They are violating a court order by not allowing him to have his son on his weekends. It doesn't matter if he's working or not. He should still have him at the house on his weekends. There is no law that states the stepparent can't "babysit" his son while he's at work. We are going through a custody battle now. Let me know if you have any other questions....
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Posted by Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:01pm PDT
Report AbuseThere is a legal aid assistance for men out there who can't afford a lawyer....http://www.affordablehelp.org/?gclid=CIXbjYTa8pICFQQRGgodqGt33Q They reply rather quickly. If it comes to an issue i would make sure you modify the visitation so that your hubby can see his son. Children grow up so fast...he should be the main priority. Its sad he lacks both parents and grandparents are having to raise him. As long as your hubby is clean no record and is paid up on child support he should have the rights to see his son.
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Posted by Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:33pm PDT
Report AbuseWELL I AGREE TO A DEGREE BUT IT WASNT UNTIL I WENT THROUGH THE SAME KIND OF SITUATION WITH MY HUSBAND NOW OVER HIS DAUGHTER IT GOT SO BAD AND WE HAD A LAWYER THAT HE WOULD GO TO PICK HER UP AND THE MOTHER WOULD CALL THE COPS AND LIE AND HE WENT TO JAIL ALMOST EVERY TIME HE WENT TO GET HER FINALLY THE LAWYERS AGREED HE WOULD BE BETTER OFF TO GIVE UP HIS RIGHTS THEN TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE MONSTER EEVERY TIME IT LIKED TO HAVE KILLED HIM BUT LIKE THE LAWYER SAID SHE WILL BE 18 ONE DAY AND WILL WANT TO SEE HIM AND HE CAN EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENAND WHY SO YOUR SITUATION SOUNDS TO ME LIKE THEY ARE AFTER THE MONEY THE EX IS GETTING INSTEAD OF THEM RIGHT YES IT HURTS AND WILL FOR ALONG TIME BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH MY HUSBAND STILL HURTS BUT IT WAS ALL HE HAD SO THESE DECESION MAY NOT BEEN RIGHT BUT AT LEAST HE TRIED AND THE 2 LAWYERS AGREED SOME EXS CAN BE MONSTERS YA KNOW BUT U HAVE TO STOP FEEDING THE ANGER SOONER OR LATER IT WILL STOP AS LONG AS U DONT KEEP FEEDING IT LIKE FIRE PUT IT OUT
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Posted by Thu Apr 24, 2008 11:22am PDT
Report AbuseWell I am also no legal expert and I disagree with the last comment. If you just through your hands up in the air and say I am done til she/he is 18 you are asking for more trouble down the road the child will be old enough one day yes but will feel that she/he was not important enough to fight for. If the parent that has custody is that devious how do you think the child will grow up? The child will learn what she/he learns from the parent. I feel your pain I am also in a relationship with a 21 month old step son that absolutely hates to go home he would rather be with me the step parent than his own mother I am a mother of three I never saw my kids choose any one over me and he chooses me over his own mother that he lives with. So do always remember we don't have a clue what goes on behind close doors
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Posted by Tue May 6, 2008 2:24pm PDT
Report AbuseHi Honey,not only have I gone threw this,but I also work for 8 lawyers. First, if the grandparents do have legal gaurdianship then you should have a Judge sign an Order for the support to start going to them. Always have his payments recorded with child support enforcment or the county clerks office. Which ever he has been. He can file contempt of court on the Mother if he has set visitation and he is not getting them. If the Grandparents do not have legal gaurdianship then he can file for full custody, since she don't have him anyway, and give her visitation, and cut out his child support. Now, If he does get to pick up his son at anytime have it in any legally signed by a judge document that they meet at the police station for transfer. What people do not know is that he can file these documents himself, or call around to lawyers or clerks offices and ask if anyone does pro bono. Or any legal aid agencies. I am very sorry that you are going threw this. It is awfull for the son.
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Posted by Sat May 17, 2008 4:16am PDT
Report AbuseEveryone has good comments on this story..
everyone took the words right out of my mouth..
Do something about it!!!!
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