Now, I realize it may be something of a hazard for a male to go toe-to-toe with a woman berating the indignities and discomforts of not just breast feeding, but using a breast pump for that purpose. While I do have nipples (why is that, anyway?), they are not of much use. I confess there is only so much I can know about putting a breast through its biological paces, since mine won't go there.
But my wife has, and I was by her side. So five children later, I do have an acute appreciation for the personal costs of breast feeding, from insomnia to mastitis, breast fatigue to milk-stained blouses. Having been forced to surrender my personal copy of "Anatomy's All-Time Greatest Hits" to a sequence of Katz neonates, I am even tempted to suggest I paid a personal price. I suspect, however, this will come across as a uniquely masculine brand of self-pity, and evoke little sympathy. So let's just forget I mentioned it, and stick with commiserating with my wife ... and Ms. Warner.
Ms. Warner no doubt has a point about the unique ignominies if not miseries of the breast pump. But the pump itself is a by-product of our breach of basic protocol. Mothers must be with their babies during pregnancy -- biology totally rules that roost. It should rule the lactation roost as well, but modern conventions have interceded. Mothers -- at least in the US -- go back to work too soon after giving birth, certainly long before breastfeeding should stop. And so enter the pump to restore a biological connection modern conventions have torn asunder.
Is it fair to ask women to bear the burden of breast feeding? I don't think it's fair or reasonable to ever ask the question. Labor and delivery are pretty unpleasant -- but they come with the child-bearing territory. So, too, should breast feeding -- at least most of the time. It falls under the heading of “basic care and feeding of Homo sapien babies.”
Breastfeeding confers compelling benefits on a newborn, well beyond the intimate social bonding with her or his mother. There appears to be a lifelong reduction in the risk for obesity and diabetes in breast-fed babies. The risk of many infections is reduced, owing in part to the direct delivery of maternal antibodies. Allergy risk, especially but not only food allergy, is reduced as well. The optimal '”formula” of breast milk may enhance everything from cognitive development to bone health.
In addition, the flavors of the maternal diet are reflected by breast milk. So a mother choosing a variety of wholesome foods may cultivate familiarity with, and preference for, the flavors of those very foods by breastfeeding her baby.
As a man, I once again concede my limited rights to preach at women about the responsibilities of childrearing only they can bear. But then again, we all get our share of parental servitude one way or another. Along with the miscellaneous demands of my three younger children, I have two daughters in college at present. A less acute responsibility and pain than either labor or lactation, to be sure -- but it goes on a whole lot longer! We bring kids into the world, and simply have no choice but to accept a whole lot of responsibility as part of the package.
Doing everything we can to keep those kids healthy and prevent future disease is certainly part of that package. And breastfeeding is among the tried-and-true means to just such ends.
It may very well be that the breast pump defies some clause in the Geneva Convention. But the separation of mother and newborn that leads to dependence on a pump rather than consistent human contact itself denies a fundamental aspect of mammalian biology. Fair or not, it may just be a price modern women ought to pay.
I do commiserate with Ms. Warner. But I see the cultivation of the best destinies of our children as the higher calling here. Breastfeeding is not required for this, but it is certainly recommended. The simple fact is that since long before women or men could become doctors, lawyers, Indian chiefs, or New York Times columnists -- both we, and our babies, have been mammals. We still are.
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