Working moms are losing custody

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  Posted by blueyedmolly Wed Nov 18, 2009 5:50pm PST

  I don't agree with the word "working" taking presidence in a custody battle. Battle, another bad way of describing the destiny of our children. We have to battle for them. How disconcerning. We didn't "battle" to get them. I would assume that they were created in a moment of love between two consenting adults. And yes I guess the right thing to do when it comes to custody of our children that fathers as well as mothers both should be considered in the upbringing of the little darlings. Another double standard wanted by the women of the world. They all fought for equality. Well this comes with the package. You can't fight for equality in the workplace,

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  Posted by Anna Wed Nov 18, 2009 5:55pm PST

  I think this is a bunch of Bull. The judge looks at who the best parent is when making a decision that is why custody evaluations are so popular.

  My ex only gets 1 weekend a month and I WORK. In fact the judge liked that I WORKED! This despite the fact the my ex works for himself (so he can have more time with the kids, hahaha) and has a stay-at-home w---- living with him.

  I think this article is bogus.

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  Posted by blueyedmolly Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:13pm PST

  I don't know what's up with my computer tonight. I got cut off right in the middle of my comment and got posted. Sorry about that. Now if I may finish my thought. You can't fight for equality in the workplace,politics,the bedroom,etc.,etc. and not expect men to challenge you in the area of custodial control of your children. True many mothers are being discriminated against because they indeed have to work in order to support the kids and many times than not the husband doesn't and this I find outrageous. What difference does it make if it's the mom or dad that's bringing home the bacon as long as it's being brought home and cooked up for the kids? And true there are probably just as many "bad" mothers as there are "bad" fathers that's where the business gets nasty. What is wrong with these people? Okay, mom gets the kids. She has to go to work so she hires a sitter,nanny,daycare,whatever in order to do her duty as a "good" mom by keeping the bills paid,put food on the table,pay for little Susies' school books and uniforms,whatever. Isn't that what she's "supposed to do?" Would dad not have to do the exact same thing? So what if mom makes the bigger bucks. Bravo to her. So dads a bit miffed because he stayed at home with the kids so mom could persue her career. Wouldn't she and hasn't she done the exact same thing? Get a grip people. Get back to the matter at hand...THE CHILDRENS" BEST INTEREST. Isn't that what is supposed to come first? So what is the real issue at hand here...the kids or the parents?

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  Posted by Whitneyc Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:57am PST

  first and for most who says that the mother is the best one to raise the child. i believe to many fathers get the short end of the stick. i've known to many women use their kids in the courts just to get the money out of the man. there are alot of men that make wonderful dads and they need to start getting more credit.

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  Posted by Mo B Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:10pm PST

  I personally do not see what is wrong with the father getting sole custody if he is the best parent for the child. I would hope most judges would try to do shared custody so both parents can be an equal part of the childs life.

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  Posted by Rebekah Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:23pm PST

  Custody should go to the parent best suited for it--sometimes that's the father. Particilarly if he is in a situation where he can give the child/ren more attention and time than the mother, while still providing for them financially. No longer being automatically awarded custody is not a form of discrimination. Custody is too complicated to be decided automatically by any one factor.

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  Posted by nr88 Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:29pm PST

  I am currently going through a MAJOR custody battle.. and to be honest.. I am my sons SOLE prover and caregiver and the courts do not care about the mother any more than they do the father. this deadbeat is WINNING in court because "dads deserve a chance just as much as the mother." BULL!! NOT if they are a deadbeat, unemployed loser. I work fulltime, provide every single necessity for our young toddler son- and this whole "lets do 50-50 with mom and dad" is a load of crap! The court system (CONNECTICUT in particular is SOO TWISTED, they are so backwards)!! Wow I could just keep typing!!! also- shared custody is HORRIBLE for a toddler..absolutely ridiculous.. for a 2 1/2 year old little boy a primary residence is the MAIN source!!

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  Posted by Sara P. Thu Nov 19, 2009 1:57pm PST

  I would be furious if my sons father won in our case. Im a working mother..a HARD working mother so we can both make it and I can provide a life for my child Meanwhile he sits at home and lives off the government..and the sad thing is he tells me he is..so I know hes a deadbeat loser.

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  Posted by krj02004 Thu Nov 19, 2009 2:15pm PST

  I don't think that working should be a factor that affects a mom's ability to get custody... that is a double standard in the worst way and sexist.

  However, I don't think this article really reflects current custody decisions. Unless you are working 12-20 hours a day, I don't think it really affects custody. For young children, I agree that joint custody is to the detriment of the child. They need consistency and stability. But courts don't decide who is the "best" parent and then that parent gets custody. If both parents live int he same area and are presumed to be good parents, then they usually award joint custody (now that doesn't mean the kids split the time 50/50.... usually there is one primary resident parent).

  I don't see the courts as favoring the dad and penalizing a working mom... i see them awarding joint custody more often. Father's rights is really big now, but it is masked by marketing it as "progressive" when in fact courts like it because it relieves a lot of burden the state now assumes in providing additional resources to single moms. But that is a whole other issue.

  There has been a recent increase in dad's getting shared custody also that IS related to the obvious financial benefit that the more a kids lives with you, the less child support you have to pay. But that is a whole other issue as well.

  But generally, the parent a child most bonds with will be awarded primary residential custody... and that usually is a mom especially the younger the kids are.

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  Posted by Joy in Seattle Thu Nov 19, 2009 2:30pm PST

  The sexism in your article makes me angry! Why should mothers automatically be favored above the fathers? Mothers do not have more right to the child and a stay at home father with more time available SHOULD get custody. My ex and I share custody, spend holiday's together as an extended family, and work for our daughters best interest, not ours.

  Expecting a woman to get custody just because she has breasts is wrong!

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