Parenting
Sunday, November 8, 2009
WOULD YOU ALLOW ANOTHER TO SCOLD OR CORRECT YOUR CHILD OTHER THAN YOURSELF AND SPOUSE?
user
JUST CURIOUS.
I HAVE A TWO YEAR OLD SON, WHO AT TIMES CAN BE A HANDFUL AS ALL
TODDLERS CAN BE.
ME ON THE OTHER HAND, I FEEL NO ONE, BUT MYSELF AND HUSBAND SHOULD
BE THE ONES TO CORRECT HIM WHEN AMONGST RELATIVES AND FRIENDS,
NO MATTER HOW LONG WE MAY HAVE KNOWN THEM.
I UNDERSTAND A VERBAL CORRECTION BUT AN INTIMIDATING VOICE OF
AUTHORITY TOWARDS MY CHILD CAUSES ME TO LOSE IT. I'D MUCH
RATHER SOMEONE COME TO ME AND HAVE ME DEAL WITH "MY" SON
"MY" WAY. EVEN WITH RELATIVES.
MY HUSBAND FEELS THAT GRANDPARENTS AUTOMATICALLY HAVE THE UNSPOKEN
RIGHT TO SPANK..... I COMPLETELY DISAGREE.
I KNOW I AM EXTREMELY OVER PROTECTIVE, BUT TO WATCH SOMEONE SNARE
AND SPEAK ALOUD TO MY SON MAKES ME WANT TO CRACK! I UNDERSTAND IN
EXTREME SITUATIONS FOR THE SAFETY OF OTHERS, BUT SOME DO GO TOO
FAR, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO DONT HAVE CHILDREN.
LET ME KNOW....AM I JUST WAITING FOR AN OPPORTUNITY
TO OUTBURST OR DO I AT LEAST HAVE A SMALL AMOUNT OF SANITY WHEN IT
COMES TO MY SON?
Related: sons, parenting, family, disciplane, children
-
Posted by lisa d Fri Jan 2, 2009 2:23am PST
I see and understand your point. However, I only agree to an extent. I think that as long as family members, day care providers, and teachers are respectful of you, then it is okay for them to discipline your child. No one has the right to spank your child, unless they are left to baby sit him. My mother -in- law watches my son and I realize that it is pertinent for her to discipline him and definetely spank him as this is how they learn good manners, learn safety, and also learn right from wrong. Of course if you feel that your parents or the father's parents over disciplined or beat their own children, then disregard this or if the baby sitter over steps their boundries remove the child from their care immediately. Teachers and day care providers need to scold children as they are the acting parental figures when you are not there and teach them proper behavior around other children and adults. This is what children need to learn in order to conduct themselves properly around adults when they are older- especially at work. I wish some of my co-workers were properly disciplined!LOL Now if a teacher or day care provider takes it upon themselves to spank your child, then by all means report them to their authorities- however this is an unlikely scenerio as teachers and day cares take extensive training and are taught the boundries of discipline. How do I know this? I worked in a day care. Unfortunately, this day care did not allow scolding and had many, many unruley kids because of it- so many in fact that it caused me to have a bit of a nervous break down and I quit my job, after only 3 months. Discipline is expected and desired by God, so long as you are not overzealous in doing so. I find that with my son, scolding is effective and with my nephews, spanking works best:) Incidentally, I am a cub scout den leader and I am the one left to scold them when they do not listen. I guess the parents find this acceptable as no one oversteps me in doing so and they leave the scolding to me. In my cub scout boys defense, they are all good boys and listen when I need them to, unless they are in deep play:) Also when you are at a family or friends house and they seem to scold your son, remember that they are human and many times we scold in reaction to children that are in danger of hurting themselves or others, or that the child may break something. It is not personal and if they are good enough friends and family, then you should trust their judgement and not be mad. I also believe that a close aunt or uncle can maybe spank them- lightly. I rarely spank my nephews, unless they really earned it and their mother thanks me for it:)
Report Abuse
-
Posted by elle Fri Jan 2, 2009 7:33am PST
I think it should be okay for relatives to discipline your child verbally. Now, by verbally I mean, not in a threatening or abrasive tone, but rather in an assertive "----, you will not skate in the house again or you will sit in time out" kind of thing.
Spanking, okay. Kids need to spanked sometimes, we all know that. In my opinion, the only person who should be doing the spanking is you or your husband. I would not want my mother or father to spank my child. I don't have a real definite reason why, but I just think it should be my job as their mother to do the spanking and then explain to them why they were spanked so they can avoid doing whatever it was again in the future.
I also agree with you that people should come to you if they are having an issue with your son. If he is acting up, it is okay for them to tell him to stop, but if he continues then they need to come get you or your husband and you two should deal with him appropriately.
Don't worry, you are not crazy, Just remember, everyone has different parenting styles :)
Report Abuse
-
Posted by fishgirl26 Fri Jan 2, 2009 2:49pm PST
Your child will NEVER learn to respect adults if it's just you parenting them. Haven't you ever heard a kid say "you're not MY mom" and run away. That's the problem with alot of kids. I NEVER talked back to another adult and was NEVER able to get away with anything with other relatives because I knew that they had just as much right to correct me as my parents did. My son used to try to see how far he could push my mom when he was between 2 or 4. She had to discipline him or he would have ran all over her. It is a matter of your own opinion however, there is a reason why we have an entire generation of little punks running around talking back out there...and it's because they respect NO ONE! Your child will be a better worker, collegue, person if they learn that they must respect everyone, and not just you and your husband.
Report Abuse
