Parenting

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Would you let your son dress up as a female-inspired character on Halloween?

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Photo Credit: Getty Images

In kindergarten, I was a huge fan of the television show, "Happy Days." For Halloween, I wanted to be Pinky Tuscadero, the gal who melted Fonzie's heart. Of course, no costumes existed for Pinky and even if one did, my parents wouldn't have let me wear it. (I think they got worried when I mastered the finger-snapping thing she used to do...and they still tease me about it.)

So I chose the next best "Happy Days" costume: The Fonz. It came in a box exactly like this one. The mask was plastic and made me sweat the instant I put it on. The jumpsuit was a light vinyl and barely fit me. But I wore it proudly because I loved Fonzie. (And do you guys remember those boxed costumes? How heinous where they?!)

I'm remembering all of this because I just read a post by Jodi Nelson Call over at the blog Pistols and Popcorn. For Halloween, her four-year-old son wants to dress up as Raven, the female character from the animated show "Teen Titans." And she's all for it.  I admire her openness about it:

"So when Roan needs to ask me if he can still like dresses, I tell him that of course he can.  He can because we are all part boy and part girl.  I enjoy wearing dresses and I enjoy wearing combat boots (I know we're not in the 80's anymore DON'T JUDGE).  I enjoy putting on my boxing gloves and getting some full-contact Muay Thai Kick Boxing on, and I enjoy getting a mani/pedi. Roan enjoys skateboarding, riding bikes, video games, bugs, climbing like a maniac, talking about blood with his older cousin, and Roan enjoys the most diverse and magical imaginary lands that change constantly."

Parents rarely bat an eye when their daughters want to dress up as male-inspired characters. My parents certainly didn't care that I wanted to be The Fonz when I was five. But when boys want to wear a costume that's inspired by a female character, parents are conflicted. Or flat out against it.

If your little guy wanted to be Dora the Explorer for Halloween, would you let him? Where do you draw the line?

 
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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 130
  • 1ULOST's Avatar
    Posted by 1ULOST Sun Oct 5, 2008 10:37pm PDT

    no sorry boy cant be dora or a princess it cause self esteem and gender confusion problems for young children.

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  • 2 Damn Defiant's Avatar
    Posted by 2 Damn Defiant Sun Oct 5, 2008 10:38pm PDT

    heck no!!!!!! no WITCHES!!! a WARLOCK YES!!! raise a MAN not a WOMAN with a SAUSAGE!!!!!!!

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  • barbara's Avatar
    Posted by barbara Sun Oct 5, 2008 10:39pm PDT

    i have let my boys dress as girls for halloween one yr, they had a blast and it was fun

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  • Carey's Avatar
    Posted by Carey Sun Oct 5, 2008 10:40pm PDT

    I remember doing it a few times. I think it's just another costume.

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  • JoKTM's Avatar
    Posted by JoKTM Sun Oct 5, 2008 10:54pm PDT

    Children don't understand "gendered" costumes so it shouldn't be a big deal.parents fall under the social pressure to "raise a man" so most parents don't allow it. Kids would be more innocent if parents didn't force stigma on their children.

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  • miss metempsychosis's Avatar
    Posted by miss metempsychosis Sun Oct 5, 2008 10:57pm PDT

    yes. yes, i would allow my son (who exists only in this supposition) to do that. ok, i DO live in the berkeley/SF/bay area, and it may be admittedly a bit more tolerant here, but it's not as different all over as many of you might imagine. there would still be frowns and, 'why did they allow this?' from elements, teasing, of course..and perhaps think grandma may raise an eyebrow over it, tho' she'd probably think of all the ones to be in the situation, it'd be me. ;-D i bet he would not be the only kid with such character-admiring wish fulfillment around! and there also would be plenty of amused support. after all, we've dealt with a whole lot in our circle, and our priorities of 'things to be troubled by" arent likely to include a childs more creative and line-crossing notions of costume ideas that last one day out of the year.

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  • SHORTCAKE's Avatar
    Posted by SHORTCAKE Sun Oct 5, 2008 11:04pm PDT

    hell,no!!!!!!!!!!! BOYS SHOULD DRESS LIKE BOYS AND GIRLS SHOULD DRESS LIKE GIRLS.PLANE AND SIMPLE.

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  • miss metempsychosis's Avatar
    Posted by miss metempsychosis Sun Oct 5, 2008 11:25pm PDT

    for ONE day out of the year? it's not like he's going to ask for a sex-change the next day, yikes.

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  • NO NAME's Avatar
    Posted by NO NAME Sun Oct 5, 2008 11:28pm PDT

    ha ha one of my twin boys at 16 dressed up as a female for a party,i raised then western style,to know who u are and what u are like i am,at the time he was rideing bulls,rought tough and love to fight for the underdog,the girls went wild over this 6ft guy so tough they thot,he was a hit with them

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  • Angela R's Avatar
    Posted by Angela R Mon Oct 6, 2008 3:50am PDT

    i dissagree with the first comment.... I do believe it would be more of a blow to the self esteem of a child (who is usually allowed to dress however he likes) to say "no, those are girl things and we dont wear them outside of the house because its embarassing." This boy is four years old, come on its NO BIG DEAL!

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