I haven't checked this discussion in awhile, but I must say that my anger over some parents ignorance (sorry, people, but if your child is going to be gay or transgendered, there's nothing you can do to prevent it--screaming at a child not to dress as the opposite gender will just make them have massively low self esteem. You can't cause gender confusion--it's innate) has been tempered by the fact so many people are rational. There's nothing wrong with boys dressing as girls, or vice versa. Kids, as they grow and learn awareness of the world, love to try on different personas, and there's no quandary about who they truly are in the process. Kids are pure and just don't think that way--they're perfect. Age and being targeted by other people's issues corrupts them. Kids are naturally secure in themselves and their own gender--they can go back and forth from "girl" games and "boy games". There's no awareness of sexuality, so there's no sexual confusion. Young children, pre-corruption, don't view crying and sensitivity, compared to anger and force, as mutually exclsuive and assigned to certain genders. It's only as they get older and are damanged by well-meaning, but ignorant and toxic parents, that they learn to stop what comes naturally in order to be a representative of their gender--"Don't cry! Men don't cry!" and "Don't yell! Ladies never yell!" are the things that can contribute to feeling unsure in the self, and unsure in their gender. That can contribute to the confusion--a sad boy, who wants to cry, suddenly feels "less of a man". He's taught that his natural inclinations are contrary to his manhood. This is so destructive, and I will be damned before I'd ever let my son end up like that. His strength and his sensitivity are his yin and yang, and both important to his being, and both need to be nurtured.
My brother and i were close in age, and were each others only playmates sometime. I used to dress as a boy, and he used to dress up like a girl. He and I spent as much time playing Barbies as we spent catching lizards. We're both perfectly normal, and I'm very much in touch with my womanhood. He's very much in touch with his manhood.
My son is 2--still pure and perfect, so secure in himself, so uncorrupted. There is much of him that a simplistic person would consider "all boy"--he loves trucks and motorcycles (anything on wheels). He cheers at explosions. He plays pretty rough, loves wrestling, and doesn't cry when he gets hurt most of the time. He loves playing ball and frisbee. He loves playing with his trucks, but also loves playing with dolls. From stuffed animals to Barbies to baby dolls, he has a nurturing side that's beginning to come out. We recently picked up toy stroller at a thrift store, and he immediately put a teddy bear in it and started wheeling it around the park, like he was taking his baby for a walk. He would stop and try to feed it and and give it his cup. He did such a great job playing a parent that I couldn't stop praising him. Playing "daddy", learning the skills to care for something smaller, can only help him as he gets older. It;s valuable learning if he ever has a younger sibling or becomes a father himself. There's no quandary between playing "daddy" with a baby doll and growling and playing trucks a minute later. Playing games like this (I guess it's like playing House) used to be considered a little girls territory. Now, we are entering an age where men are expected to take a more active role in nurturing and child rearing. Men need to get in touch with their more sensitive sides, and that begins with exploring the so-called feminine side. By having so many clear cut ideas of what constitutes "male" and "female", you are taking that away from your child. You are teaching them that manhood (or womanhood) is so fragile that anything could shake the foundations--which, incidentally, breeds homophobia--if a kid reads "Heather Has Two Mommies", they're suddenly going to decide to be gay. People that feel that way, and try to sheild their children from things like this, really don't have a hell of a lot if faith in their children. Trust that they are who they are, and that they're a lot stronger and more secure than you are. Don't foist your own insecurities on your kids.
You will damage your children FAR more than if you let you son dress up as Dora. Lighten the hell up.
ANd for the rest of the parents on here, that have no problem with letting their kids dress up as the opposite sex, I salute you. You've restored my faith in the coming generation!
