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"Why isn't she married?" That's what people used to say about me. I'll admit it.
Are you someone people say that about? Do you know someone like that? Then you have to read my new book, How to Shop For a Husband, which comes out this week. I spent years crossing guys off my potential dating list because I didn't like the way they ate their yogurt or I hated the shoes they wore. Then I would date all the wrong guys: you know, the cute ones who had no interest in settling down. And I would cry, cry, cry to my friends and relatives: "Why can't I find a guy?"
Well, I finally figured out why I couldn't find a guy, and I want to save women out there the years of agony I went through. Ironically, I learned that if I shopped smart—just as I had always taught American audiences to do through my work, as a consumer reporter—I could land a great guy. It worked for me: Steve and I have been married for seven years now, and we have two little boys to boot.
So pick up my new book and learn how to apply the rules of caveat emptor to your love life. No more scams, no more fruitless shopping trips, and no more bellyaching to your friends. Here are some tips (you'll find more in my book) on shopping for the love of your life:
How to Shop for a Husband: Ten Tips
1. If you refuse to date guys for a silly reasons—like "he wears ugly shoes"—you're being too picky. Keep in mind that you can often make "after-purchase repairs," especially when it comes to wardrobe selection.
2. Look for a guy who will withstand the test of time—in other words, the guy-equivalent of a little black dress. You want values and sincerity, not trendy packaging.
3. If you are absolutely not attracted to him, move on. It's as simple as that. You can't fix a relationship that never had the spark of mutual attraction.
4. The more you two have in common, the more likely it is that you will have a happy marriage. Studies overwhelmingly show that it is similarities—not opposites—that attract and stay together.
5. Internet dating is an absolute must nowadays, and its greatest benefit is that you can niche market and really focus in on the qualities that are most important to you.
6. You need to get out of the "women's department" and go shopping in the "men's department" in order to find the man of your dreams. Go where the men are: check out golf clinics, fly fishing, technology conferences, and business courses.
7. It's good to shop alone. Think about it: do your female friends have your best interests in mind—or are they competition for the few eligible men out there? Take a class, travel, talk to guys. But do it on your own.
8. Pick a guy who is not quite as good looking as you are and makes sure he is willing to do the dishes. No kidding. Scientific research shows that guys who believe they have married well looks-wise and those who help out around the house are the ones who stay in their marriages for the long haul.
9. Tell everyone you know that you are ready and willing to date. And then tell them again. Your dating life is not the first thing on your friends' minds, so be persistent. Everyone knows a marriage that resulted from a fix up—yours could be next.
10. Recognize a scam when you see one. It's time to hit the stores again if he never wants to have sex—or if he only wants to have sex. And always keep in mind: if he looks too good to be true . . . he probably is! Caveat emptor, ladies, and happy shopping.
--Janice Lieberman
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