Love + Sex

Saturday, July 4, 2009

10 ways to attract women, according to guys



Judging by the number of digs on this Ask Men article, dudes are gulping down this advice on the "Top 10 Ways to Attract Women Fast." Now, I love spying on man sites, so here, let's see what they have to say and keep 'em in check, from a woman's perspective.

Number 10: Learn the secret language of manhood
"When you become a real man -- an independent, strong man who is on his own path -- you’ll begin to communicate differently: You’ll move differently, you’ll hold yourself differently, you’ll respond to situations differently, and you’ll use different words."

Okay, I guess I can get down with this, despite the author's annoying insistence on renaming the word "confidence" the "secret language of manhood," but whatever. My only note on this is please guys, I beg of you, always err on the side of humility and not cockiness.

Number 9: Make “certainty” part of who you are

"If women think that you’re secretly a wussbag -- that you’re only acting cool, but underneath you’re a clingy, insecure guy just waiting to smother them -- they’re going to bail. But if you can communicate a strong, stable, secure, and masculine maturity, women will be less likely to flake out on you because they have more certainty about you."

Um, sure guys, you can be certain and all, but please be flexible for god's sake. For example, you were "certain" you didn't need to look at the map when you were driving last week, but we both knew that wasn't true.

Number 8: Certainty versus teasing

"I often tell guys to find fun, playful ways to indirectly answer the questions women ask."

Some degree of teasing is cute, but when I ask what you do for a living and you say you're a janitor, well, okay, that is funny.

Number 7: The more personal, the more universal
"My mentor, Gary Ballinger, taught me something that he learned from his mentor: that the more personal something is to you, the more universal it probably is."

That's true. Women and men can often bond over their insecurities. Just remember though, erectile dysfunction is not one of them.

Number 6: Stop reliving your emotional past
"Women dig guys who can break through the emotional baggage of their past and live in the “now.”

Also true. I am so not interested in either how gorgeous your ex girlfriend was or the cheesy Adrian brody wannabein Louis Vuitton luggage you bought because you thought it looked cool in the Darjeeling Limited.

Number 5: Figure out where your power comes from

"Is your ability to persuade based on whining, tyranny and tantrums? Or is it based on credibility, authenticity and wisdom?"

This is a good ruler when it comes to reality checks. Now if we could just apply getting rid of the "whining, tyranny and tantrums" that so often accompany the "man cold."

Number 4: Realize success won’t solve your problems

"Most immature guys think that money, power and success with women will solve all their problems and make them happy."

Sure, money does not buy happiness. It does on the other hand, pay for dinner, which we want you to do now and then.

Number 3: A mature man plans ahead

"Aristotle said that a sign of a mature man is forethought."

Way to class up this list with a philosopher's vision. And I must agree that it is always appreciated when a man remembers not to leave filthy dishes in the sink overnight.

Number 2: How to know when you’re manipulating

"Here’s a test that you can apply to see if you’re being a manipulative Boy-Man: Ask yourself if what you’re doing feels manipulative, sneaky or dishonest in any way. If it does, then you’re allowing the Boy-Man inside of you run things, which will ultimately lead you to a feeling of less fulfillment, not more."

Indeed, however I would like to raise the point here that contrary to this point, sneaking the last beer in the fridge actually does lead to a sense of fulfillment.

Number 1: Commit to becoming a naturally attractive guy

"The most important thing you can do right now to attract women fast is to commit to doing whatever it takes to become the kind of guy who naturally attracts women."

Sigh.
Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 12
  • John's Avatar
    Posted by John Mon Mar 31, 2008 5:34am PDT

    I'll bet Erin keeps spare Alanis Morissette CDs just in case she accidentally breaks one.

    Report Abuse
  • niko i nista's Avatar
    Posted by niko i nista Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:04am PDT

    this is totally useless

    Report Abuse
  • beck.childs's Avatar
    Posted by beck.childs Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:24am PDT

    "which we want you to do know and then"

    Only if you learn your grammar/spelling!

    This is indeed worthless information. Is this what Shine is all about? Yuk.

    Report Abuse
  • NESSERS 4-EVER.........'s Avatar
    Posted by NESSERS 4-EVER......... Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:05am PDT

    wow...u really think that's the way.. haha lol ur

    so funny u made my day hahah.... write somthing else

    Report Abuse
  • botticelliesque11's Avatar
    Posted by botticelliesque11 Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:41am PDT

    i think erin is right on with this blog.

    now how do we get it to the other men who truly need to read and apply?!

    and how do we un educate the women who put up with men with no plan, no manners and no hutzpah??!!

    Report Abuse
  • V's Avatar
    Posted by V Mon Mar 31, 2008 1:02pm PDT

    Who gives a .........? May be if I really-really fall in love with her, or her, or her, or her, or her .... I might care!

    Report Abuse
  • tay's Avatar
    Posted by tay Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:42pm PDT

    This article doesnt make sense. Dont waste your time reading it. How about if really like a women become her slave maybe then you get lucky. Whether its for love or a one night stand we all have different ways to attract women. I dont know who this article is written for. How about just be your self and if she dont like you, well she is not right for you.

    Report Abuse
  • wk's Avatar
    Posted by wk Mon Jan 5, 2009 2:12pm PST

    I am always looking to find out new secrets and this is helpful but basic. I found a blog http://betheguywomenwant.blogspot.com/ that was interesting that showed a site for this ebook. This is a must have book. Surprised not too many people know if it. I am a lot with dating since I started researching online. Good luck to all.

    Report Abuse
  • CHIT's Avatar
    Posted by CHIT Thu Mar 5, 2009 11:12pm PST

    hah! totally useless indeed...

    Report Abuse
  • kuasknab's Avatar
    Posted by kuasknab Mon Mar 9, 2009 5:02am PDT

    This article reminds me of the astrological junk you read in the newspaper. Totally fits anyone who reads it and has no value whatsoever. Makes no logical sense. Everyone is who they are. People are going to be idiots in relationships no matter what you do or say to them. That's how they are. They just have to match that idiocy, or lack thereof, to someone with the same values. There is a match out there for almost everyone. Just remember if you aren't finding your match, there is probably something about you that is wrong and you have to start changing the way you look at yourself.

    Report Abuse
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