Love + Sex

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

12 Simple Tips For Relationship Bliss

One of the most common questions we hear is, "How do we make our relationship work?" The answers are complicated, varied, and, after a while, can start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because they work. With this in mind, we pulled together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship. Read on and let us know what you think:

1. Mind your manners.
"Please," "thank you" and "you're welcome," can go a long way in helping your partner remember that you respect and love him and don't take him for granted.

2. Variety is the spice of life. Studies have shown that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. Trying something new can be as simple as visiting an unfamiliar restaurant or as grand as a backpacking trip through Sri Lanka. Discoveries you make together will keep you feeling close.  Video Advice: My Wife Won't Tell Me Her Fantasies

3. The couple that plays together, stays together. Find a sport or hobby that you both love (no, watching TV does not count) and make that a priority in your relationship. Camping, biking, building model trains... whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing together.

4. Fight right. In order to have productive arguments, keep these rules in mind. Don't call your spouse names. When things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her sentences. Don't initiate a discussion when you're angry. 9 Things To Say During A Fight

5. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine. No one likes demands, but everyone can appreciate a compromise. If you want your lover to do something and you're not sure he'll be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal. For example: "Sure, I'll watch Monday Night Football if you take me to see the next movie of my choice."

6. Two heads are better than one. Being in a relationship basically means you've made a merger; you've not only joined assets but inherited the other's problems as well. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example, if he's gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in an exercise program together. Fun And Free: The Exercise Date

7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Maintain your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant other. Doing things without your s.o. not only makes you miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And, in case the relationship doesn't work out, you'll still have your friends.

8. Sound it out. It other words: communicate! Talking out the tough subjects—money, religion, fidelity, raising kids—will not be the most fun you've had, but it'll be valuable.

9. Laughter is the best medicine. Learn to laugh at yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws your $300 cashmere sweater in the dryer, laughing it off is, in the long run, better than getting angry. It's is just a $300 cashmere sweater, not the end of the world.

10. Keep your eyes on the prize. Yes, he forgot your co-worker's name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal—to be in a happy, functioning partnership—you're less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance. Remember, you both want the same thing. Seven Ways To Stay Happy (All Year Long)

11. Quitters never win. Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it's always kissing each other good night, renewing wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to having sex once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and stick to it, even when you're tempted to skip.

12. When the going gets tough, the tough get going... to therapy. Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don't. Whether its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink.

What keeps your relationship strong? Let us know in the comments.

Do you need advice on a relationship issue? Ask our community and receive smart, real responses from people who've been there too.

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Comments 1-10 of 171
  • Nose's Avatar
    Posted by Nose Mon Sep 14, 2009 2:59pm PDT

    what about telling one another sincere compliments and the I love Yous which are important. And not growing complacent and appreciating each other.

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  • nicole's Avatar
    Posted by nicole Mon Sep 14, 2009 8:23pm PDT

    This is exactly what I've been looking for. I constantly research and work on my relationship pretty much every day. It's a struggle sometimes and then other times it's just completly odrinary. I have such a roller coaster ride for a relationship that sometimes I want to puke.

    I post these articles on my mirror or wall so I can constantly work on all my flaws or our flaws that we share. I really like the fact that you added 10 11 12 Those are just the reminders that keep me thinking nobody's perfect and we have to accept who we are as individuals. The tips help, Thank you.

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  • becca's Avatar
    Posted by becca Tue Sep 15, 2009 12:29am PDT

    I dont like when people say that absence makes the heart grow stronger. When my boyfriend isnt with me, I get irritated. Also, when i dont see him as much as im used to, it makes me more irritable towards my family

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  • February's Avatar
    Posted by February Tue Sep 15, 2009 4:07am PDT

    I agree with Becca.

    But other than that some of them are good. Me and my boyfriend always try to use manners around each other.

    Report Abuse
  • Ashley's Avatar
    Posted by Ashley Tue Sep 15, 2009 4:58am PDT

    I agree with Becca as well. I feel that being with my boyfriend as much as I can makes ma happier person. When I have tried to go out for girls night, I only wish he was there or I was with him. I think that if you're obsessing over your partner, than it may be an issue... But, if you love each others company and want to spend 24/7, do it.

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  • None's Avatar
    Posted by None Tue Sep 15, 2009 5:22am PDT

    "Becca" get a life you are one of those needy women who men only make them happy and you take it out on those you love, and people, boredom is inevitable! Routine kills, but it happens, when you accept that, then you'll be at peace.

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  • K's Avatar
    Posted by K Tue Sep 15, 2009 1:32pm PDT

    "none" i agree with you 100%!!!!!!

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  • Penny's Avatar
    Posted by Penny Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:12am PDT

    Trust me ladies if you want you man to be with you ALL the time it will wear thin on his nerves, smother him AND you and let the fight begin. He doesnt have to go out alone all the time but a poker night with the guys or a girls night out once a week or a couple times a month is good for both of you. It says "I trust you enough to let you out of my booty for a night" and it gives you each the chance to miss each other which makes for a great reuninion. I cant tell you how mnay times my hubby has come home from poker and says "man I appreciate you and the way you are you should have heard what soandso's womand did" If you cant trust them enough to let them do that guess what? you are already in trouble

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  • another hockey fan's Avatar
    Posted by another hockey fan Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:15am PDT

    I wouldn't be negative towards those who feel they prefer to be with their s/o all of the time. As long as BOTH people want that, then how is it hurting the relationship or making either one needy? My hubby and I love being together, but I haven't always felt that way in a relationship. I think it shows you really love your S/O and can't imagine life without them.

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  • CrazyDoug's Avatar
    Posted by CrazyDoug Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:35am PDT

    There is a difference between being with your guy as much as you want, and being with him all the time. Just beause he doesn't want to be with you on monday night doesn't mean he doesn't want you tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday and sunday. Guys NEED that time away from their partners to be with friends just as much as they NEED time away from their friends to be with you. Balance is the real key to not only a happy relationship but a happy life, and women who freak out when they are not with their man 24/7 are contributing to the imbalance of not only his life, but their own. Imbalance breeds contempt much faster than absence breeds resent.

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