4 tips for adding some SPICE back to your long term relationship by the "Toy Diva"

Spicy Step 1: This one is simple. Buy some inexpensive GLOW IN THE DARK Erotic Dice or Spicy Dice. Once the lights are out, no more talking. You each get in your mind one CELEBRITY that you find super hot. In my case, it's either LL Cool J or George Clooney depending on my mood. I am pretty sure my partner thinks about Carmen Electra or some other porn star and I am ok with that! It's a way of role playing internally and can be a lot of fun. I am fond of saying that if you're not laughing or smiling when you are having sex, you're not doing it right. Sex is FUNNY if you really think about it.
( I do sell them on our shopping site: http://www.blissconnection.com )
Also, for couples who have been having sex with each other for a long time, it's a great way to get things started in a new and fresh way. When you have sex with the same person for a long time, you can sometimes get in a rut. You sort of find a routine and get stuck in that routine. When you roll the dice, you have to do whatever the dice say. If he rolls the dice and the dice say to start by KISSING YOUR TOES then he has to follow the rules and kiss your toes!

Spicy Step 2: Buy a fun book like "101 Nights to Great Sex" or one of those other books that have fun ideas for couples. "101 Nights to Great Sex" has these cool envelopes for each night. You open the envelope together and have to do whatever the envelope says. Some of the fun envelopes have you go places, wear certain clothes, buy small items, take a drive. For example, one envelope that I thought was very cool was to go to a restaurant with table cloths and sit in a booth together. Preferrably one that is somewhat expensive so it's unlikely to have screaming kids around. Then, when no one is looking do something only teenagers do...discreetly touch your partner in a sexual way through his pants. For the female partner, wear a skirt on the short side so your partner can touch your upper thigh when no one is looking. Very exciting but not something adults will do without having permission to be so naughty. By opening the envelopes and following the directions, it gives each partner a bit of permission to try something naughty. This helps get each partner's blood pumping and builds anticipation which is one of those things that tend to wane when you've been intimate with the same person for a long time. Spice

Step 3: Role playing is a fun way to spice things up, but many couples are worried about being embarassed or creating alot of work. So I suggest you keep it very simple. No need for costumes or elaborate props. Just put some of the "classic" fantasies on a piece of paper and put them in a baggie or a hat to draw one out. Some examples of the typical fantasies are: A. College Professor/Student (both can play the professor) B. Cheerleader / Jock C. Librarian / Student D. Police man or police woman / "perp" E. Hooker / Customer F. Massage Therapist / Client G. Doctor / Nurse or Patient J. Sex Slave / Domme or Domina No matter which one you pull out of the hat, you do it even if you do not have a Naughty Nurse costume! Just pretend. If you do have some costumes or props, by all means. But, it might be a good idea to baby step into this. You have to agree ahead of time that you are both going to play your role for a 20 minutes. After 20 minutes, you check in with each other to make sure it's going ok. If it's a yes, then keep going for another 20 minutes. Before you know it, you might really get into it. If you enjoyed it, put it back into the hat for a repeat performance.

Spicy Tip 4: "Window Shop" Shop online together for some adult products. No need to buy just yet, but set aside some time to browse an online store together. That in and of itself can be very revealing and will turn you both on. Look through the products and see which one's intrigue the other partner. Educate yourself about the toys and how they work. You can buy them that night or make a mental note and go buy them at a local store later to surprise your partner. Imagine coming home from a long day of work to find a new special purchase your partner made for you on his lunch hour that day! The sparks will fly. Spicy Tip 5: Make time to MAKE OUT. I have got into great detail about this in my blog I wrote about the Science of Kissing. Kissing and making out really get women worked up. It affects us on a chemical level and when we are kissed for more then 30 seconds at a time, we get very aroused. Married couples and couples in long term hetero relationships often site this as an activity that they rarely do. Making out makes women more enthusiastic lovers and are also more responsive orgasmically. Kissing helps women to self lubricate and it really gets our engines going. Foreplay is the key to really great and orgasmic sex. But when we have sex with the same person for a long time, we tend to get right to the point and bypass the more sensual aspects of making love.

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Blissfully, Chrystal Bougon