Love + Sex
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
5 Reasons Why the Pull-Out Method (Withdrawal) Is Not as Good as Condoms
user
Please, just say yes to
condoms.
There's been a lot of media drooling over the latest research which
suggests that withdrawal may be a legitimate form of birth control.
This is great news for couples in long-term, monogamous, committed
relationships who have complete trust in one another, who
have made an educated decision to be bodily-fluid bonded, and who
would not be too bummed with an unintended pregnancy. But we're
guessing the majority of sex going on in the world does not fall
into this category of relationship. More often it's sex of a
slightly more casual nature (think drunken Saturday night
strangers, office workers after the holiday party, a friend
consoling another needy friend, exes returning to the well, spouses
cheating on each other, teenagers experimenting, online daters,
etc., etc.) -- all situations where "pull and pray" is a
very bad idea. So before you go throwing your condoms away, please consider this:
- Control -- Ladies, when you rely on the
withdrawal method, you are relinquishing all control over
your birth control. You're basically losing autonomy over your
body, relying on another being to do (it) right by you. Women have
fought too long and hard for the freedom to make their own choices
about their own bodies for you to just pass that power over to a
dude.
- Pre-ejaculate -- Most experts agree that after
a man ejaculates but before he urinates, sperm can hang out in his
piping. Which means if he goes for round two before a whiz,
there's a good chance his little swimmers will ride the wave of
his pre-ejaculatory fluid (a.k.a. pre-come) into your love bay,
rendering a perfectly timed pull-out pointless.
- Poor performance -- You know how some orgasms
are: you lose sense of time and space, you lose the ability to
think straight and speak normally, and you lose control of all
facial expressions. Something with that kind of power over your
mind and body can and most likely will throw off your partner's
timing, as well as his best intentions. Sure, a small, rational
part of his brain may be planning on pulling out, but in the heat
of the moment, every other fiber of his being is telling him
not to do that. Who are you gonna put your money on?
- STDs, STDs, STDs! This is a biggie. Condoms significantly reduce the risk of STD
transmission -- that's what makes them so great (well that, and
the easy clean-up). With withdrawal, you've got nothing --
you're just giving bacteria, viruses and parasites unlimited
backstage access to your or your partner's naughty bits.
- Liars -- Again ladies, there are plenty of
jerks out there. (You gals can be bad too, but that's another
post entirely.) Some guys will say and do anything to ride
bareback, even when they know it's not true -- e.g. "I
just got tested, I'm clean," or "I've got great
timing" or "I've never not used a condom with anyone
else before" or "I love you" or "Trust
me." Basically, if a guy says "Trust me" when
he's asking you to engage in risky sexual behavior,
don't!
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Related: withdrawal method, withdrawal, sex, relationships, love, emandlo.com, em and lo, em & lo, contraception, condoms
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Posted by Doktor Eevol Fri Aug 7, 2009 5:52pm PDT
Again, I've used withdrawl for TEN YEARS without unwanted pregnancy. It *is* a legitimate version of birth control, just like any other form it's just as effective if it's used properly and with the right person.
Would I tell someone else to *not* use a condom because someone might lie and poke a hole in it? No. Then stop blogging against withdrawl when monogamous couples such as me and my man have used it successfully for a decade. My man has proven himself trustworthy and he takes pride in having it down to a science.
Besides it's useless to rely ONLY on condoms for reproductive control. First, you should already be with a partner that respects your family planning goals. Condoms are just as easily sabotaged as withdrawl is. Secondly, if you don't use it correctly, the results are just as disastrous as not using anything at all. And you only find out AFTER the deed is done. "Uh honey? Half of this is inside you. Don't move, I'll help get it out" pfffffft
Condoms also won't protect you from STIs like herpes or warts. Plus, most people DON'T use condoms for oral sex, which can pass HIV and other STIs along regardless if you use a condom for actual intercourse.
ALL birth control options have their strengths and weaknesses, and NONE of them will substitute for having a safe, trustworthy relationship in the first place. So instead of writing one sided blogs with NO experience in the matter, maybe you should consider the idea of interviewing WOMEN who actually do.
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Posted by Caitlin Fri Aug 7, 2009 7:36pm PDT
my beautiful daughter is proof that 'pulling out' doesn't work
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Posted by Kate154 Fri Aug 7, 2009 8:00pm PDT
I totally agree with Doktor Eevol. You shouldn't be having sex with someone you know doesn't respect you or your family planning.
Simfelicity needs to grow up alittle.
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Posted by February Fri Aug 7, 2009 8:20pm PDT
Me and my man use the pull out and its been a year and no baby. Yea!
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Posted by Milla. Fri Aug 7, 2009 8:29pm PDT
It worked great for my husband and I for years. No unplanned pregnancy. Both of our children were planned and one shot deals hehe.
I now use a form of bc because I feel content with the size of our family. I 100% agree with the first paragraph.
"This is great news for couples in long-term, monogamous, committed relationships who have complete trust in one another, who have made an educated decision to be bodily-fluid bonded, and who would not be too bummed with an unintended pregnancy."
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Posted by Rachel Fri Aug 7, 2009 8:51pm PDT
The simple fact that so many people still don't understand the consequences of unprotected sex that they felt the need to post this article amazes me. I don't think its necessarily a bad idea if people are in a committed, monogamous relationship to use the withdrawal method (my husband and i did for about a year and a half with no pregnancies) but if you are having "casual" sex then you need some other form of protection.
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Posted by Krissyspeedy Fri Aug 7, 2009 10:00pm PDT
Okay, I can vouch for this first hand: the Withdrawal Method does NOT work to prevent pregnancy!!! I ended up with not one, but TWO, beautiful twin babies while practicing the withdrawal method of "birth control". Yeah, I dropped two eggs and he managed to nail both of them with sperm, even though he 'withdrew' before he came. Ouch! I was only 19 years old when it happened, too.
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