Play Dress Up
Nurse outfits, baby-doll lingerie, catwoman suits… the idea of playing dress up, or fantasy role-playing, turns some women on — and makes others roar with laughter. Yes, you do pay through the nose for these outfits at sex shops, and they're not terribly well made either. But if you have the money and you're game for experimenting, why not?
If you're less than convinced, shift your thinking from traditional (read: expensive) role-play outfits to simply putting together a sexy, home-spun ensemble. High Heels? Check! Stockings? Check! Long, black, satin gloves and a push-up bra? Check! And that's really all you'll need to be totally sexed up without even feeling (terribly) silly.
If you're still too shy to suggest the idea of role-playing, wear the outfit under a little black dress and let him peel off the layers to find the surprise underneath. (You can always pull on the gloves afterward.) And his “costume” is simple: No shirt. Jeans with the top button unfastened. Done. (That way you can see those sexy “penis pointer” muscles on his hips!)
Spank Him
Spanking appeals to many people because it falls nicely into the “kinky, but not too kinky” category: It's naughty enough to spice things up but not so extreme that it leaves a horrible “Am I weird?” post-sex hangover. Want to give it a whirl? Here's a simple guide:
- Pick a position. The classic you've-been-a-naughty-boy pose is him bent over your knee. But you could also have him stand, lie face down on the bed or kneel on all fours. (Save that last one for later, though, since it can feel a bit threatening for a first time.)
- The more fat and muscle a body part has, the harder a strike it can handle. Since the idea of playful spanking is to cause “pleasant” pain, but no damage, those fleshy, gorgeous orbs known as the buttocks are the obvious place to start.
- Start with your hand for the first spanking session. If you both enjoy it, then you can move onto soft whips, riding crops or paddles. Don't forget to remove any rings or bracelets though—and use a pumice stone to remove any rough spots on your hands.
- Decide how long you want the session to last. The longer the session is, the lighter the slaps. Intense spanking should be done only for a short period of time.
- Wait until he's aroused before attempting your first spank; he'll be far more receptive to erotic pain. So do a lot of kissing and fondling first and run your fingers lightly over his buttocks. Then place one hand on a buttock cheek, the other on the genitals. Start with the cheek closest to you.
- Your first spank should be more like a caress than a slap. Cup your hand slightly, keep your fingers together and spank in a slightly upward motion. Massage the area for a few seconds afterward and fondle his genitals afterward.
- Does he look intrigued? Try another spank, then another one and another one about 3-5 seconds apart. Vary the weight, frequency and placement of the slaps.
- Now bring out the props you so cleverly hid near the bed: a satin or furry glove or the back of a hairbrush, for example.
If you both enjoyed the session, take a trip to a reputable sex shop (or go online) for some implements. Riding crops are an excellent addition to your toy box. They're good for light or heavy strokes and make a sinister swish and slapping sound, which is a nice touch during fantasy scenarios. They look sexy and they're inexpensive. You'll also find an array of whips. Rubber whips look fierce but are incredibly soft. If you want more, choose one made of soft, light leather. Both soft whips and crops are great for teasing: Have him gently poke the tip of the crop against your clitoris or brush the strands of the whip across his thighs. Paddles, broad, hard instruments, are for true devotees. They cause much more pain, and it's hard to judge how hard you're hitting when using one.
Have Cleavage Sex
Men are obsessed with breasts. (How's that for stating the
obvious?) Rather than getting all huffy the next time his head
swivels to check out someone else's perky double-Ds, indulge
him. Start by stimulating him with manual sex or oral sex. Then lie
back, put some lubricant between your breasts, push them together
and invite him to thrust between them. Not only will he be awed
that you're letting him aim his lethal part straight at your
face, he'll never complain about having to sit through
Desperate Housewives ever again if you—brace yourself—let
him ejaculate on you. Oh, come on… Semen isn't sulfuric acid,
you know! A quick wipe with a strategically placed tissue and
it's gone.
Get Frisky with Food
We all love eating, but food is also a versatile sex toy: Smear
it, drip it on, lick it off! And you can do better than just
whipped cream, honey and ice cream. If you're on a diet—even in
bed, really?—go for avocados, mangoes, berries and bananas. Many
foods, with the exception of hot and spicy ones, are safe to smear
on the outside of the genitals, but keep in mind: There are
definitely some safety precautions. First and foremost, be overly
careful about inserting things. Sugary foods can set off yeast
infections. Oily foods have a nasty habit of “eating” through
condoms because oil breaks down latex. Never, ever squirt or spray
anything into the anus or vagina—not even whipped cream—because it
can be dangerous. And food isn't just for smearing, by the way;
it's also sexy to actually eat it! Jumping into bed together to
devour a tray full of decadent goodies is unbeatably hedonistic.
Choose bite-size finger foods that look, taste and feel sexy:
strawberries, grapes, chocolate, olives, oysters on ice… You can
even warm up (and set the mood for a steamy night) by sharing some
hot chocolate.
Become Voyeurs
Escape the cold, the snow and a sexual rut by heading to a local strip club or, better yet, an adult bookstore with a “peep booth.” Peep booths offer a focused, private place for the two of you to satisfy your voyeuristic urges safely. Typically you go inside, sit on a stool or bench, put money or a token into a meter and a screen lifts to reveal an exotic dancer putting on a show behind glass. Sometimes you have no control over what she does, whereas other places allow you to request specific acts or dirty talk (for extra cash of course). If it's a private booth—and most are—it's standard for you two to have sex while she does her thing. However, remember that other people have had sex there before you—so pack some baby wipes and an old towel.Decide how long you want the session to last. The longer the session is, the lighter the slaps. Intense spanking should be done only for a short period of time.Wait until he's aroused before attempting your first spank; he'll be far more receptive to erotic pain. So do a lot of kissing and fondling first and run your fingers lightly over his buttocks. Then place one hand on a buttock cheek, the other on the genitals. Start with the cheek closest to you.
How do you keep things spicy when the weather turns
chilly? Share your steamy tips here!
Related Links:
- *Read the rest of Tracey's columns
- *Watch Tracey's Love Bytes videos
- *Try our new Perfect Position Selector tool!
