Love + Sex

Monday, December 7, 2009

6 things that scare your man

Getty Images

Getty Images


A lot of guys try to give the impression that they're calm and cool, that they can handle the pressure, that they think worrying is for wimps.

And the sad part is, the women in their lives sometimes buy this act, or even encourage it. Heck, if he isn't worried, they can feel calmer, too. Maybe you buy the act because the only time you see emotion in your man is when he's watching his favorite baseball team fall apart at the end of a game.

Or maybe it's because the only time you've seen him sweat was when he had to wear a suit to an August wedding. Or maybe it's because the last time you asked him, "Aren't you worried?" he responded with a dismissive, "Nah."

While men pretend that they're wired with steel cable, not nerves, they have their shakedown moments, too. Here are some of the biggest worries that can weigh on a guy's mind.

That He's Going to Lose His Hair

Yes, I know it seems surface-level to worry about such a vanity issue as baldness, but lots of guys equate follicle failure as a failure in masculinity, as well. Oh, we know it's not true - that hair loss has nothing to do with how funny, smart, or good a guy is. But knowing is a heck of a lot different than feeling. Pluck a lion's mane sometime, and see if he purrs.

That He's Going Broke

Economic shocks (like the one we're in right now) worry guys for lots of reasons: Your man probably feels like one of his largest charges in life is to be able to provide comfortably for his family. While money and job problems have their own tangible effects, they can also undermine the way he sees himself as a man. So if he's a little freaky around the checkbook, it's because his bank balance is closely tied to his emotional balance. A simple four-step plan for your savings like this one can ease his fears.

That He'll Have One Cheeseburger Too Many

Millions and millions of guys worry about their health - more, of course, as they get older. The one killer that really makes us think: the heart attack. One minute you're watching Simpsons reruns; the next minute you're staring at the ceiling of an ambulance. Because we've read too many stories or known too many people who checked out earlier than they should have, the threat is always lingering - in our bodies as well as our minds. Take these 20 small steps toward a healthier life.

That He'll be Called Out in Public

Some of us are thick-skinned when it comes to taking criticism from bosses, spouses, and every other kind of critic. And some of us have skin thinner than a Spring Break T-shirt. But none of us like getting called out or picked on in front of a crowd. It's not that we can't take the criticism, or can't think of a comeback, or can't accept the fact that we're imperfect. It's that public attack forces us to counter-attack or retreat - both of which have their downsides.

That His Kid Won't Make the Free Throw

Granted, a guy is going to worry a heck of a lot more about the big things when it comes to parenting - that junior wears a helmet when he rides his skateboard, that he does well in school, and that he thinks drugs are for losers.

But want to see a guy's heart pump? Put his kid on the field, court, or dance floor. He's pulling hard for his gene-carrier to do well - not because he wants to live vicariously through him or her (as most people assume), but because he wants to see the smiles and the fist pumps. It's because his happiness is directly correlated to theirs.

That He'll Fail to Perform in the Clutch

When a man can't rise to the occasion he feels about as useful as a '63 Oldsmobile with rusted spark plugs. But before you put him up on blocks, reassure him that more than 1 in 10 will have trouble with erectile dysfunction at some point in their lives, and the other 9 guys out of 10 have good reason to be concerned as well.

As part of our research for the new book "Eat This, Not That!," my coauthor Matt Goulding and I undercovered evidence that the American diet is slowing our sex lives (for both men and women) to a crawl. You can find out why that's happening and discover the best and worst sex foods.

And check out this fantastic list of the very best beverages for quick and easy weight loss!

Have other insights into male fears? Please share them here.

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From the Community…

Comments 11-20 of 174
  • Christopher's Avatar
    Posted by Christopher Wed Aug 6, 2008 4:39pm PDT

    Great article. A lot better than most of the other "relationship experts" on the net.

    Report Abuse
  • Coppertop's Avatar
    Posted by Coppertop Wed Aug 6, 2008 4:41pm PDT

    Agreed, that most of these are probably over rated, but I would have to say that I can relate to a few. For example "That He's Going Broke" - I am always concerned about my income and my expenses. I can not stand having to pay creditors. Can't say that I am to concerned about losing my hair, ex-military here and have always liked the clean shaven look. Nobody likes public criticism or being yelled at in front of a crowd, it typically makes the individual feel really small, one thing that needs to be remembered is that the one yelling will usually look like a complete jerk to everyone for flying off the handle. I will be the first to admit that I am not perfect, just look at this post, run on sentences, improper grammar, possible mispellings, and I can't even break a paragraph. But if I had a lady that made more than I because she is stronger emotionally and mentally, I would have to say that I did something right.

    Report Abuse
  • Ian's Avatar
    Posted by Ian Wed Aug 6, 2008 4:48pm PDT

    Uggh.......what? These articles are such a waste of time. I can tell you quite a few fears that aren't on this list, that are most def top 10'ers.

    1. Not getting to do all the crazy crap that we planned on before grabbing the ball, and taking the plunge.

    2. Getting your tail stomped in front of your GF or spouse is a good one.

    3....hmmmmm how do I say this DEATH. it's real, and once a man becomes happy and realizes he is going to live past 25, this sinks in. No more toys, no more random hook ups, no more goat curry....you know, the usual......dying.

    4. Finding your friend giving your significant other a piece of his bologna pony.

    5. Loss of function in the main vein.

    6. Getting in a jam for suggestive comments on the internet.....Peace, SKWIRLCREST OUT!

    Report Abuse
  • Bill's Avatar
    Posted by Bill Wed Aug 6, 2008 4:48pm PDT

    These articles are incredibly stupid. If these are things that most guys worry about, it makes me embarrassed to be a guy.

    Report Abuse
  • OMGWTF's Avatar
    Posted by OMGWTF Wed Aug 6, 2008 4:49pm PDT

    I dont know about u, but my biggest fear as a man is weather or not i marry a girl and she ends up getting fat after we marry or have a kid. ha

    Report Abuse
  • Jack's Avatar
    Posted by Jack Wed Aug 6, 2008 4:49pm PDT

    This writer is a big loser himself. David Z. put down the Cosmo Mag and get real starting with a real job of your own you flower child. "6 things that scare your man" , six guys get like you talking to our women. Check out Monster.com for the latest job postings. Idiot.

    Report Abuse
  • ChristopherC's Avatar
    Posted by ChristopherC Wed Aug 6, 2008 4:51pm PDT

    One big one was left out: That his woman is cheating on him sexually with other guys. I have learned the hard way that most women simply can't be trusted.

    Report Abuse
  • Lockdown's Avatar
    Posted by Lockdown Wed Aug 6, 2008 4:52pm PDT

    Hair loss is actually due to an excess of testosterone that kills the follicles. So actually balding men are more manly and it's just culture that has made them see their hair loss as shameful/ugly.

    Report Abuse
  • dUb's Avatar
    Posted by dUb Wed Aug 6, 2008 4:54pm PDT

    WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!? this is the mind numbing CRAP that screws this society up! STOP THESE STUPID ARTICLES. ALL THESE DATING, HER PROBLEMS, HIS PROBLEMS ARTICLES. it is not useful, everyone has problems. why not write a good article about something that pertains to peoples lives. HOW ABOUT HOW THE ECONOMY IS GOING TO s--- AND OIL COMPANIES ARE MAKING RECORD PROFITS EVERY QUARTER AND GAS IS NOT UNDER $3.50 A GALLON ($4.15 in California).

    STUPID PEOPLE STOP BREEDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Report Abuse
  • You Are Born Stupid's Avatar
    Posted by You Are Born Stupid Wed Aug 6, 2008 4:55pm PDT

    This is bull. I'm a man. And I have none of these "fears". The only "fear" is the possibility that I would not be able to provide/protect my wife. That's it. (And no, going broke does not mean I won't be able to provide - think about it.)

    Now, if the author is a man, he might know that. Maybe the title should read: "6 things that scare your f#g".

    Report Abuse
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