Love + Sex

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

9 attractive qualities women look for in a guy

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Getty Images

My friends and I have spent many a long night brainstorming that magic formula of characteristics that drives the ladies wild. It is impossible to know just what the mixture is supposed to be, but is there one characteristic that can work alone to make a guy really attractive?

Here are the nine characteristics we've come up with:

Sense of Humor

Everyone says how important sense of humor is, and I have learned to look for it in women. I am lucky enough to be able to make women laugh, but I'm still super single.

Trustworthy

Trust is the holy grail of a relationship. It takes years to build it, and it is so delicate. There are few things that take so long to attain that can be destroyed so quickly. So a lot of us may finally settle on a very trustworthy person when we finally find that.

Kindness

This seems like a no-brainer, but I've seen plenty of girls stay with guys who don't treat them well. So, I'm thinking that most women look for a nice guy, but the fact of the matter is that mean guys seem to get girlfriends too-and at a better rate than nice guys.

Yacht

http://blog.expandexcellence.com/2006/12/12/expand-excellence-interviews-with-cream-of-the-crop-people.aspx

Money

I admit it: I sometimes envision myself marrying rich and sitting there doing nothing. I could lie out on my wife's yacht and host lavish parties and hear about how crazy the Roaring 20's were, when my wife's friends were my age. Money is definitely high on a lot of people's list: remember when Anna Nicole Smith married that really old rich guy? I doubt it was because she thought he was hot, funny, or great in the sack.

Super Hot

As much as we hate to admit it, the first thing we notice about someone else is how good or bad they look. But one of the first lessons we learn in the dating world is as beautiful as someone is on the outside, they could be ugly on the inside.


Confident

Confidence is based on a lot of these characteristics. You are confident if you are talented, super hot, intelligent, or wealthy most likely. But confidence also enables you to treat people better, so you are kind and trustworthy as well. Because confidence includes so many of these other characteristic, it may just be the one major thing women look for in a man.


Talented & Passionate

When someone possesses a special skill, such as visual art or guitar virtuosity, they get tons of girls. People like Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, and Tom Brady can go out with anyone they want because they are skilled. Heck, I'd go out with them. Usually skill occurs in tandem with passion, another attractive quality. When someone is really good at something, but not "hot," it makes sense that they can still attract a lot of women. It's less annoying to see someone like this in a relationship than it is to see a rich mean guy in a relationship.

Intelligent

I am intimidated by women who are more intelligent than I am (which explains why I'm intimidated by about 97% of the female population). For a lot of people, intelligence is sexy. When someone is stupid, it's frustrating and boring, which is enough to drive someone away.

Convenient

One can argue that convenience is a huge driver for a relationship. Does he live near you, is he "ready" to be in a relationship, does he want to have kids or not? Everything matches up correctly. Sure, he may not be the best-looking guy or have a lot of money, but it's just what you need and it's been a long, difficult search.

If we put these characteristics on a pie chart, what would get the biggest piece of the pie with you? Again, some of these characteristics occur together: intelligence and wealth, talent and passion, kindness and generosity, convenience and wealth.

How often do women care about superficial things like money? It's scary, but sometimes I fear that no matter how funny I am, if I had lots of money I could date any cute girl I wanted.

How do all of these characteristics shake out for you when choosing a boyfriend, and are there any you'd add to the list? Does confidence just take all of these characteristics into consideration?


Posted by Rich

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 781
  • Rae's Avatar
    Posted by Rae Tue Nov 25, 2008 9:18am PST

    :) This is a very good article. I agree with alot of it. I think I would go for kindness and humor more than money and attractive super-hot qualities.

    I have a bit of pre-judgement towards people with money and who are super-hot. I believe that alot of people with money have some transformations to go through and untill they reach the Humanitarian stage where they realize it is really all about society and the world versus themselves then I am turned off by money and selfish behavior.

    Super-hot individuals sometimes strike me as un-evolved because good things come to them too quickly with less effort and that they might not appreciate how difficult it is for an average person to aquire love, friendship, or money. I do believe that they dont have to work at the same level for advantages. I have watched ignorant yet physically attractive people climb the social ladder based on who they know and not so much on what they know. This practice is very sad and irritating but on the same note you cant blame them for using what they have to get what they want. I just wish that things were more fair, maybe that is the issue. I allready know that I will be shot down for having these opinions but I cant help it.

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  • angelique's Avatar
    Posted by angelique Tue Nov 25, 2008 10:33am PST

    i was watching the movie Alfie last night with jude law.....and i hate to admit it, but even though a character (if anyone has seen that movie)who is a horribly selfish person and just a limo driver (not educated or wealthy), i still find him completely irresistable and lovable. yes, i disappoint myself, but good looking people have it made man.

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  • Charley's Avatar
    Posted by Charley Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:39pm PST

    I think you are on the right track. However, you are a little confused as to which are more important.

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  • Kim's Avatar
    Posted by Kim Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:29pm PST

    Interesting blog. Well spoken and truthful...but I doubt that just one characteristic alone can be the solution. You have to have more then one. And if you were to sum it down to one which would you be...?

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  • Jess's Avatar
    Posted by Jess Wed Nov 26, 2008 9:16am PST

    Have to say kindness is the most important. I remember sitting in a class in college one day listening to the teacher tell this story about how when she was a kid, she and her sister would pull the legs off of frogs. She said they did it to see how the frog reacted, like if it would hop to the right if they pulled off the left leg. I was absolutely disgusted, and even more so when I realized that everyone else in the room was laughing and nodding along as if this was completely normal.

    Point is, after that day I always made it a point to ask potential dates if they ever did such things as a kid. I figure if someone was so mean as a child, they probably didn't grow out of it and so far it's been accurate. I'm dating a wonderful man now who cried the only time he ever hurt an animal( I think he was about 8 at the time) and is now a well adjusting, caring, and masculine guy.

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  • charitable's Avatar
    Posted by charitable Mon Dec 1, 2008 7:02am PST

    I've been married, forever. Our first "date" was two weeks of rebuilding a '61 chevy engine. I didn't mind cleaning the parts,getting nasty dirty, greasy and learning what made it all work. My mate didn't mind having the help and someone interested to explain it all to. The interaction was nonsexual, no pressure. An environment to get to know someone past the physical attraction, which already existed. As for money? Women always look at the potential a man has to provide for her and the chidren to come. I was a college student and believed that I could support myself once I had my degree, but that didn't keep me from noticing that his father owned the whole city block, a plane a boat and varies automobiles.

    I believe the attraction was so intense because his attention was so focused on me. He smiled nonstop, made direct eye contact and stood very close. He seemed to ignore his other friends when I was around. He also never presented me with gifts, he didn't try to buy my affection. He was always ready to pay for things I was buying anyway, like a $1 burrito at Taco Bell,the mechanic when my car threw a rod. He never tried to impress me with suggesting to take me to a fancy restaurant or ski slope, I couldn't afford that. So we went innertubing, ate fast food and went car camping, no fancy hotels.

    We bonded with common interests,doing ordinary things,just being happy with each others company. Later,the car that threw a rod was replaced with a new BMW,money saved from the jobs we work. We go jogging with our free time together or rent a movie. But we now vacation in Bali or Australia; scuba diving, shopping, staying at posh resorts and it feels comfortable. We've blended our lives together.

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  • Andygirl's Avatar
    Posted by Andygirl Tue Dec 2, 2008 8:46pm PST

    for me, you're right fo sho, except for money, super hot, and convenient. those just aren't factors for me.

    I do like men that have jobs, but I don't care what that paystub says. I more care that he's responsible. it screams future daddy.

    and there has to be attraction, but the super hot guys tend to turn me off. they tend to be waaay too arrogant. there is something so freaking adorable about a guy just cute enough to not know it. very very attractive.

    and I have issues with dating narcissistic men who deny me attention when I most want it. so, convenient? nope. is that healthy? nope. but I'm working on that one.

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  • NiCoL3's Avatar
    Posted by NiCoL3 Wed Dec 3, 2008 10:48am PST

    Good article!

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  • JohnK's Avatar
    Posted by JohnK Wed Dec 3, 2008 11:19am PST

    thank you for the information it is very help full i have been alway a nice guy lady have call me sweet i open door for them if guy would think what they can do for their ladylike buying flower and takeing them to the best dinner in town and give spening money.

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  • EttaC's Avatar
    Posted by EttaC Wed Dec 3, 2008 12:49pm PST

    True very True! Although a man does not have to be the best looking. He just needs to have his on SEXINESS(swagger). and honest bc whatever it that he does, he has got to be able to OWN IT!!!

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