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Maybe I'm not very attractive, so my options are limited. Maybe I'm too jaded to go for the cheating opportunities. Maybe I still have some mental wounds lingering from when my dad temporarily moved out because he had met another woman. Maybe I'm too afraid that I've reached my sin quotient and one more big sin will keep me out of heaven.
Cheating is not a caught in the moment thing if you are really
into your significant other, you miss them when you are not with
them, you don't look for a way to hurt or deceive them.
I am just now patching up a friendship with
someone I was seeing while they had a boyfriend (that
may make me a cheater). At different points she told me that she
had broken up with her boyfriend, that they were back together, and
that he was boring and I was fun. It was total confusion.
I told her she wasn't being fair to herself, me, or him.
Finally, she said, "you just don't understand, there are
things you don't know." Thing is she's been cheating
on him for a couple of years with different guys, and he keeps
taking her back.
So, are cheaters born cheaters, or do certain
situations cause people to cheat? Probably a little
bit of both. Here are some situations that make people cheat:
1. Bored
I'd say this is the most common reason that people
cheat.It's tough to keep that edge throughout a
relationship. Things start off grand and then level
off and then you both realize that it's still real life. When
you meet someone else, that inaugural excitement of a new
relationship kicks back in.
2. Dependence
At first glance, cheating seems like independent
behavior. It could be interpreted as doing what you
want, when you want. But I would argue that cheating is a dependent
behavior. A cheater is dependent because they are not strong enough
to break up with their significant other in order to get with the
new person.
3. Confusion
Sometimes life or a particular situation can get to you. When
the perfect storm of confusion is going on in your
head, you make mistakes.
4. Because They Let You
If any girl ever cheated on me, I'd break up with her
immediately.
Forgiving a cheater is putting up with it, and starts a vicious
cycle. That person who cheated may lose respect for
you and might continue to cheat-because they know they can get away
with it, because you'll continue to take them back.
5. Nurturing
If someone is mistreating you, then your first instinct is to get
away from him or her. But sometimes it's not that simple-maybe
you are raising kids together. If you feel trapped in a bad
relationship, it's only natural that you will run to the open
arms of a person who treats you well.
6. Revenge
This is quite simple- an eye for an eye. Cheat on them if they
cheat on you. If they continuously hurt you or abuse you in some
way, you do it to get them back.
7. Confirmation of Attractiveness
Sometimes
when you're in a long relationship, or if your significant
other is taking you for granted, you begin to wonder if you're still
attractive. Perhaps, because you were out on the
dating circuit, you felt more attractive when you were single. If
you have an affair, you've proven that a new person can be
attracted to you.
8. The Thrill
Some people just enjoy the thrill
of cheating: running around secretly, risking getting caught,
andcreating thrilling moments with a
forbidden romance.
9. They Don't Consider It Cheating, Even Though You
Might
Relationships have that grey area, usually right
before you become exclusive. He thinks date #4 is when you're
"together," and you think date #2 is when you're
"together." If you haven't talked about exclusivity, someone may
think they are well within their rights to see other people, even
though the other person in the relationship may not.
I don't understand why people don't break up as soon as
they have an urge to cheat. Is it natural to have temptation, or is
temptation a sign that the relationship is losing its fire? What
reasons would you add to this list, and do you disagree with any?
If you've ever cheated, why did you do it? Could you forgive a
cheater? If you are single, but seeing a person who is in a
committed relationship, does that make you a cheater?
Posted by Rich
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