9 Reasons People Cheat

From the Community…

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  Posted by omerlm Tue Mar 17, 2009 7:09am PDT

  I think that most people think about cheating, on some level, whether it's a passing thought, or a full-blown scheme. I think it's human nature to desire other things, it's if we act on them is where we get in trouble.

  It's like walking by a bag full of money with no one looking - it's obviously wrong to take it, and most people don't, but who doesn't think about what you could do with that money, even if just for a minute? it' human nature...

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  Posted by Meka G Tue Mar 17, 2009 7:21am PDT

  I don't think human nature is a good enough excuse. What if your love of your life cheated on you...and said that it's human nature would let that ride? Or show them to the door...

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  Posted by Paige Tue Mar 17, 2009 7:47am PDT

  THEY CHEAT BECAUSE ITS IN THEIR CHARACTER! Simple as that, don't play psycho babble about it, just simply say they have low moral character and don't value much of anything and leave it at that.

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  Posted by Morgan Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:09am PDT

  I disagree with a lot of your cynical comments- they just sound like the rantings of a bitter boyfriend. Cheating is, in many ways, an instinctual reaction to the way we are programmed- mate often. We are, after all, just animals. But whatever the reason, there are ways to get beyond betrayal for two mature people, though most often cheating signifies a relationship has issues in the first place. If you care enough, trust will rebuild- most people are too insecure and closed-minded (they think cheating is a direct attack on their ability to satisfy) and can't get past the idea that possibly it isn't about them at all.

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  Posted by thesword Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:27am PDT

  I agree with another poster here: that these really are excuses not reasons. The statistics on divorce are sad, 60% of marriages end in divorce. I think most people rush into things they are not ready for. I think people confuse "wedding" with "marriage" and think it will be fun etc. without realizing the great amount of work and commitment it will take. The problem is that people think"well if it doesn't work out"..If you actually are committed to forever this should not be happening.

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  Posted by Halle Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:32am PDT

  I hate that gray area!! i'm in that right now with someone. We have established that we are not exclusive, but at the same time we both get jealous if we think the other one is going out on a date...ugh!

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  Posted by syrcyn Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:27am PDT

  You've been with your boyfriend about a year and a half. Things have been going pretty great. YOu both seem happy, no one pushing to move forward too quickly, but certainly taking any steps back. You're both content at the place you're at.

  You recently find out he's made a comment to one of his buddies "I'm not as attracted to her as once was. I can feel the cheating urge coming on."

  His friend's response is something to the effect of "well it's a positive that it is only an urge, and not an involuntary act as it's been with past relationships."

  What do you do? How do you go about bringing this up when everything on the outside has seemed totally normal? I mean sure, the blazing flame that was once there is settled down a bit, but for the most part both the guy and girl seem very much in love.

  Thoughts? Please.

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  Posted by KK Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:32am PDT

  I cheat on my Boyfriend regularly. call me whatever names you like, I don't care. When my boyfriend and i initially met i told him i Love him in more of a "Friendship" way. Is it my fault HE fell in Love? Also, I feel "Taken for granted" and he never makes me feel special nor appreciated. I feel like an unpaid maid, Not to mention his lack of sexual stamina or desire to see that i am pleased. Its wham bam thank you ma'am. I stay because my relationship offers security, Simple as that.

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  Posted by Sexy Saggittarius Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:34am PDT

  I've been cheated on and its hurts very bad and it messess with ur psyche because u start 2 wonder if it was somethin u did wrong. I could never cheat on anyone because I know what it feels like to be cheated on

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  Posted by Hellen A Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:34am PDT

  I don't know about the point number 4....I mean, if you talk in dating context then it's true, you have to break up right away when you catch yourself dating a cheater.I think point number 4 only serve our idealistic thought about the ideal relationship....and it definitely work in dating game. It's the last idealistic dream one may have in their single life, hehehehe.

  When you're married though, things become slightly different.

  I mean, I read a lot of advice (even from DearAbby to Miss Manner) about marriage that grow stronger after they go through "cheating-caugh-forgiving" cycle. Only if they manage to go through that storm though. And only if both side really work in it.

  And from what I see and hear myself, from couples in my life...when you're married you have to use your judgement. Second chance is fine, but third chance and nth chance is nono. When the cheater in marriage really want to work it out, then chances are the marriage will become stronger- ofcourse you'll still have to go through forgiving and maybe some marriage therapy, but in the end not everyone choose divorce.

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