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When you get suspicious that your significant other is cheating be careful not to appear to be paranoid. You have to walk a fine line-you don't want to make false accusations.
So, while I'm sharing this list of cheating red flags, I
concede that it's a tricky situation. It's hard to be sure
if someone's cheating, but protect yourself: be vigilant, and
pay attention to your mind and spirit within the relationship. But,
at the same time, be careful not to let anxiety lead the way
because unnecessary paranoia will just drive your lover away.
Here are some red flags that may signal that your significant other
is cheating:
Less Sex
Unless he's Superman, he can only have so much sex. So, if
he's getting it from another source, you might notice. Whether
it's another woman, or a porn addiction-even if he's not
cheating - a decrease in sex signals serious issues in the
relationship.
Jumpy Cell Phone Habits
In a perfect world, we'd be open about sharing our
correspondence with our significant others. Most of the time, the
trust so that we don't have to worry about who is texting or
calling them. But, if you notice that he is getting protective
and/or nervous when he gets calls or texts, it may be cause for
alarm.
Gushing or Talking About Someone Suddenly
You know that exhilarating feeling you get when you meet someone
new and exciting? You want to tell the world about them. One of my exes began talking about a guy a lot
near the end of our relationship-he just always seemed to be at her
social gatherings that I didn't happen to attend. Sure enough,
after she dumped me, she began dating him.
Disconnect
Even though relationships ebb and flow naturally, if you're
sensing that he's drawing away from you, then there may be
someone else. Emotional disconnect should be investigated
regardless of whether it's caused by cheating. There's a
problem if he's not laughing, or seeming as passionate as
usual. It's hard to spread love/passion between two people, so
the person who used to have it will feel it slipping away if
it's being given to someone else.
He's Pulling Houdinis
http://frontier.cincinnati.com/blogs/litchick/2007_03_01_default.asp
Friends Acting Strange
His friends will certainly remain loyal to him in most cases. They
will not let you know what's going on, but they will definitely
be racked with guilt and their behavior may change slightly when
they are around you while protecting his secret.
Caught In Other Lies About Other Things
If you catch him in a lie, your trust will naturally be damaged.
Don't hold a grudge-forgiveness is a good thing. You can forgive, but don't forget. If he
consistently breaches your trust, it's establishing a pattern
of behavior that leads to cheating. Do yourself a favor: if he
keeps lying, whether these lies are big or small, get out while you
can and don't let him talk his way back in.
Been There, Done That
I always say: "once a cheater, always a cheater."If
he's done it before, he's definitely capable of doing it
again. It has nothing to do with you, which is why you can't
say that he cheated on his previous lover because she didn't
keep him happy. Cheating is a self-serving act in which the cheater
doesn't take his significant other into consideration. If
someone is upfront with you that they've made mistakes in the
past, maybe give them a chance-but make it a long probationary
period before you let your guard down.
Your Gut Tells You So
Don't ignore your sixth sense. People are gifted at sensing
when something doesn't feel right. Whether there are red flags
in your relationship that are cluing you in or not, if something
feels off don't ignore this feeling. Usually that feeling is
right, and something intangible may have led to you figuring it all
out.
Do you have any red flags that you'd add to this list? Would
you say that you're generally good at figuring cheaters out, or
do you seem to find yourself getting cheated on often? What sorts
of behaviors do you think are characteristic of someone who could
be a cheater?
Posted by Rich
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