A Cute Gesture, Or Total Insanity?

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  Posted by gillyflower Thu May 28, 2009 4:44am PDT

  Well, I have two comments: 1) For those of you who are saying that the co-workers should butt out, etc...I see where you are coming from, but this gal has *invited* their input by making this Dane a virtual character in her workplace. From Rich's description, she talking about him/talking to him while at work, so I think it's okay that they gave her their opinions on what she was planning; 2) I personally think that most people would find that toenail thing not stalkerish/okay/cute, but ironically I think the best thing her co-workers did was throw a little cold water on the situation (so I do think they overreacted, but that it was a good thing in the end). I find that, in these types of scenarios, girls (myself included) get excited and obsess in a way that can be fun, but it's good to get some perspective before the guy shows up...so if in this way they made it possible for her to calm down a little bit, they probably helped the situation overall.

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  Posted by Rae Thu May 28, 2009 4:58am PDT

  Hehe, see now I know I am not right, because I would have opted for an air-brushed full frontal of the danish flag across my chest...I mean if your going to go there, go big! hehe.

  I think people need to be themselves a bit more. I hate the idea of someone holding back thinking that they would not look cool therefore not being themselves which brings you back to wonder why people look over at their partners and go " I dont even know you!" Because hiding aspects whether crazy or not is never going to work for the long term, gotta let it all hang out, accept yourself and others quirks and all, I think it makes an interesting point though...expressing our feelings to the point of offense. How far can you go?

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  Posted by Mathilde W Thu May 28, 2009 5:11am PDT

  I think you did the right thing. It is a bit much. You gave her advice and she took it. If she didn't and the guy actually did love the pedicure, that would have been fine to.

  It's nice to be excited about a new romance but in this case I do feel she was headed to fairyland, not staying in the real world. If she knows him better and is more involded she can always surprise him later. It's also ok she went a little crazy. She's in love. Who hasn't acted a little crazy while being in love.

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  Posted by Deb Thu May 28, 2009 5:59am PDT

  Um, I must admit, a pedicure is not the best way to be romantic.

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  Posted by Yanky Cranky Thu May 28, 2009 7:54am PDT

  Crazy ? Not really....A TATTOO, YES, friggin' crazy, but something as temporary as nail varnish? Just goofy.

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  Posted by ladybella04 Thu May 28, 2009 8:10am PDT

  It's just nail polish. I think it would make her look more desperate than obsessed/crazy.

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  Posted by bri-b Thu May 28, 2009 9:06am PDT

  Is everyone forgetting that he sent her a huge gift at Valentine's Day? It seems that shows he's excited about her too. Also, they seem to have been communicating via phone, e-mail and text...maybe they have gotten to know each other and are mutually psyched about the upcoming visit. What's wrong with a little toe nail polish, just to be goofy and fun with someone you like?

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  Posted by MonicaG Thu May 28, 2009 9:18am PDT

  I am totally against this whole "letting go" thing. Maybe after 6 or 7 months of exclusive dating, one can "let go" but I think savoring a bit of coyness keeps a relationship alive.

  Right now I am dating my ex. We got together in 2007, and fell completely in love and about 2 months in I had moved into his house (not my finest hour of brilliance.) I thought I had found someone I could be myself around, or "let go" like you put it. And I did. Not more than 6 months in all the spark was gone, the lady-like manners where out the door, the trying to do special things, no more. So needless to say, 8 months into it I moved out.

  Fast forward another 8 months to now, after being apart, dating other people, we some how found ouselves together again. But I have grown and learned. I leave a little mystery to things. One of the simplest things I have learned that keep my man interest is not be a slave to my phone. His schedule at work for break is 10am and 1pm, 30 min each. I knew this of course. Then, if I had not already texted him 2 or 3 times about random things I wanted to tell him, I was calling the minute it hit 10am or 1pm. Sometimes to b---- about something (bills, groceries, monotonous "playing house" chores etc..) or sometimes just to say hi, maybe hearing a kind word, and I love you...but the love was gone. Now, I don't do that. He may call, and if I am at work, I do not answer. Whether I am busy or not, I am at work and if it is an emergency he can call me at work (it never is). Texts may get returned, if I am not busy of course, or they may not, or they may get returned 30 minutes later. I am not at his beck and call. He is a creature of habit, I do get my daily texts or calls at 10am and 1pm and a call around 4:30 when we are both driving home. Sometimes I answer the 4:30 call, sometimes my music is too loud and I cant hear my phone, sometimes I am in an after hours meeting, sometimes I am talking to a friend or my parents. Either way, he doesn't know...and for some reason it has kept him intrigued.

  I also do not worry about the house chores as much. I have slight OCD, and he worked a lot, so I cleaned a lot. But I hated cleaning up HIS mess, since i was "miss perfection" and always cleaned my messes. Now living on my own in my own home with no man, I have come to realize I am a pig too. Chores can wait. I'd rather walk the dog with him and chat, than wash the dishes from dinner. Or we do them together. I guess growing up changes your perspective on important things. It doesn't matter that your placemats and drapes match eachother, or that you buy a new set of handtowels for the second bath. Living and enjoying life are imporatant. Maintaining a happy and healthy relationship and household are important. Free roadside garbage that we turn into treasures are more important to me than expensive decorations and accent wall paint. Tearing up carpet in a room so my bunny rabbits is more important that tiling the lanai. Laying in bed with my headed on his chest as we watch the news while both our laundry lays in piles is a good night to me.

  I also had issues with little presents, or meaningful gestures. I have pictures of him and I all over my wall at work, and I wanted to show him HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM b/c i did that. My wall of pictures doesn't amount to love. Rubbing lotion on his feet my show I care, but not when I rub it in his face that I am such a good women cuz this is what I do for you.....Now its finding air plants that have fallen from the oaks in my parking lots, not spending tons of dollars "surprises".

  Simplicity. I live for it now.

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  Posted by Frantastic Thu May 28, 2009 9:50am PDT

  She should have kept all of this to herself. Not judging it but because of the response from the co-workers. these people run in packs ready to pounce on the first one with an ounce of excitement that has nothing to do with them or isn't happening to them. don't know how long all of you have been working with each other but I have learned over time, that personal should be kept separate unless you have the one or two co-workers you can confide in.

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  Posted by nicoleD Thu May 28, 2009 10:04am PDT

  i like this boy (men) he aways thinks im lieing to him....i dont lie to him at all.....we dont talk any more....we probly will start talking again, i dont really know if we will though, his a gemini an im a leo...i dont know if i should im him or not....should i i.m. him or not?????? please tell me what should i do people

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