Love + Sex

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A Cute Gesture, Or Total Insanity?

One of my co-workers, Jenn, went temporarily psycho a few weeks ago when her overseas love interest visited NYC from Denmark. I've decided to chronicle the events here to save others from making the same kind of error.

She met him over New Year's and the two hung out for a week before the guy had to conclude his visit to NYC. At this point he headed back home to Denmark-needless to say this was quite a long distance relationship. But if they were making one another happy, no problem there.

For Valentine's Day, chocolates and a teddy bear showed up at our office prompting a wild reaction among co-workers like village town folk gathering for a witch trial. I often wonder if sending huge Valentine's packages into offices is a good idea. Bored workers cooking under white light are just waiting for something to spice up the day. It puts the spotlight on the recipient and they have a lot of explaining to do.

This occasion was no different; she explained that her and her guy decided to stay together and that he was coming to visit soon. We even read the card: "To My Favorite American," which led us to wonder if his favorite English, Italian, Chinese, and Samoan had received the same form letter. Perhaps something was lost in translation.

For the next few weeks we all came to accept the strange little yelps and sighs that Jenn emitted as she got instant messages from her Dane. The Visit was coming, and we knew it was going to be a production, but we were not prepared for the opening act.

Just a day before her Dane's visit, Jenn showed up and quickly drew a throng of female co-workers around her. As I approached, I noticed female co-workers leaving the circle with pensive and slightly disturbed looks on their faces as if they were walking away from a snake exhibit after getting a close look at the specimen inside. When I got into the huddle, I saw the source of the ruckus: Jenn had decided to paint the flag of Denmark on her toenails.

Danish Flag

http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.co.uk/time-zone/europe/european-union/denmark/images/denmark-flag.jpg

She had her toes out of her shoes (already questionable) and was wiggling them with the red background against the white cross-I must say it was a rather handsome flag. The beauty of the flag aside, the guys looked at one another with that collective "she's gone psycho" look. But she was sitting there pleased with herself with that "I've just joined a cult" perma-smile. We decided we had to do some intervention.

We told her that she had to get rid of the patriotic pedicure. It looked calculated and insane. This guy, after his long trip overseas, would get off the plane and see that she had adorned her body with his country's colors, and would probably turn around and get right back onto the plane.

In addition to thinking she might be insane, the poor Dane would see that the entire challenge and mystery of this girl was gone. Personally, I would take one look at this girl's pedicure, even if it was something as amazing as, say, the Maryland flag , and assume that I had already won this girl over and could easily makeout with her.

Guys like a challenge, and they like to work a little bit to get to "paint my flag on your toenails" phase.

Guys look for managable baggage and general sanity in women above all else. Perhaps we were a little tough on our co-worker, but we felt that it had to be done. In a moment of sanity, she later thanked us and said that she had "clearly underestimated how crazy this maneuver would look to a guy."

Do you think we were too hard on our co-worker, or do you agree with her defense that she thought it was a "cute" idea? What is the most insane stunt an admirer has pulled for you? Have you made any "insane stunt" errors in your romantic past?

Follow Me On Twitter: www.twitter.com/richravens


Posted by Rich


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From the Community…

Comments 21-27 of 27
  • Aj's Avatar
    Posted by Aj Thu May 28, 2009 10:06am PDT

    It is nice to hear what he had to say... but I dont think it was crazy it was kinda cute

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  • maria's Avatar
    Posted by maria Thu May 28, 2009 10:41am PDT

    Its toe nail polish. This is not totally insane at all!! I don't get why you and your coworkers went bonkers about this. Also if I read the note "to my favorite American" I would totally not be thinking he had someone else. Seriously you and your other coworkers are overreacting!

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  • Rebecca G's Avatar
    Posted by Rebecca G Thu May 28, 2009 12:53pm PDT

    I think that it is very refreshing to hear about a girl getting all excited about seeing her guy. The nailpolish was a very cute gesture that she is showing him she thinks about him and misses him when he is away. I think we should spend more time being ourselves and quit pretending to be someone that we are not. Wish i had her enthusiasm.

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  • Keri B's Avatar
    Posted by Keri B Thu May 28, 2009 6:33pm PDT

    I understand about it being cute, and a creative expression of how she felt about the guy. I don't think its the action she took, so much as what was behind it. I think its all too easy to lose yourself in the heady feelings of a new(ish) relationship and sort of jump into it. I think sometimes it can be great and wonderful, and to anyone who this approach has worked for, kudos! I only know that from what Ive seen and heard all to often jumping in and being overzealous can lead to heartbreak. I really don't want to sound pessimistic, I believe all woman are queens, and should be treated like that, so guard your hearts! Its the most priceless thing you will ever have :).

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  • laquandrar's Avatar
    Posted by laquandrar Fri May 29, 2009 6:53am PDT

    well for one i think its rather sweet and she was just showing her feelings for the guy and how excited she was about him showing up the day after.But then again the flag on the toenail was a little too much maybe she should have just gotten the colors on all of her feet that would have made matters a little better but her co-workers do have a too much time on their hands they need to go find the long distance danish boy!

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  • blackacidevil's Avatar
    Posted by blackacidevil Fri May 29, 2009 1:14pm PDT

    For once I agree with the good Doktor... (which does not happen very often)

    Rich,

    It's no wonder to me why you have absolutely zero success with women or in relationships. Tell me what is wrong with being yourself? Tell me what can be gained by holding back or playing some "game"?

    Please explain to me...? If we are trying to find a person to love and accept us for who we really are, what, pray tell makes what your co-worker did so out of line, or "psycho" as you called it. Not sure how old you are, but man you have a lot to learn about women, and yourself for that matter.

    There are a lot of things that may make us look a little "goofy" at times. Being in love is one of the most common and as far as I'm concerned, the best.

    Jeez man...

    Take the stick out of your a-- and stop trying to be so cool.... You're not, and the ladies can see right through it. No wonder you are so pathetic...

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  • saywithaplomb's Avatar
    Posted by saywithaplomb Tue Jun 2, 2009 2:36am PDT

    I don't think it is insane at all (granted I am not a guy), I think it is kind of cool to paint one's toenails to resemble a flag...sounds cute and fun! And since girls like to paint their nails (and personally, sometimes be creative)---this just seems like a fun thing to do! And if one does not put too much emphasis on the intense meaning of the act and play it off as a cool, "not much though given to it" action I cannot imagine why it should be such a big deal. Act confident about the decision and don't give it too much import, and it won't be perceived as a sign of clinginess or whatever 'bad' thing it supposedly 'implies'...

    Actually, now I want to paint MY toenails to salute some flag...I could start a 'new' trend...

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