There are no statistics on adult virginity because people are often too shy to self-report.
Getty Images
Dr. Wendy Walsh: They walk among us.
They don't look any different from most adults -- some are hot,
some are not. But they harbor a secret that inhibits their social
life and love relationships. They are adult
virgins. How they got to this place is a story unique
to each of them. Missed opportunities, social awkwardness, body
image concerns, religious messages, a physical handicap, and even
extreme shyness may have all contributed to their situation. More
men than women seek help for adult virginity, but that doesn't
mean that women aren't as vulnerable to the condition.
Obviously, there are no statistics on adult virginity because
people are often too shy to self-report.
The good news for adult virgins who want to enter the ranks of
sexually active adults is this: like any other psycho-social
condition, help is available. For some, a licensed sex therapist
can assist them in developing a fully faceted adult love
relationship. The American Association of Sex Educators,
Counselors, and Therapists grants certification to a wide range of
sex
therapists and educators who are trained to help with
a variety of sexual issues. Some of those therapists and counselors
work with sex surrogates, who are anything but
"professional" prostitutes. Sex surrogates can assist
clients with intimacy issues, body image concerns, the development
of social skills, and, yes, they can help unlock one's sexual
potential. Sometimes, but not always, they use a hands-on
approach.
After decades of never seeing or touching an opposite gender body,
the whole experience can be terrifying for adult
virgins, and best not left to a bewildered date. A sex
surrogate's physical interventions might include simple
hand-holding, exploration of non-genital arousal areas, and
explanations of opposite gender sexual arousal. In a few cases,
they use their own body for demonstrations.
The goal is to get clients comfortable with relating to a romantic
partner, and comfortable relating to their own body. Successful
body image therapy is often done by sex surrogates who have far
from perfect physiques. Standing in front of a mirror, unclothed,
the sex surrogate assesses their own body parts, acknowledging and
accepting their flaws, and expressing pride for parts of their
physical attributes. This kind of modeling of a healthy body image
can be hugely liberating for someone who has never been undressed
in the presence of another adult.
We are so fortunate to live in a culture that supports the journey
of people who were not swept up by adolescent and young adult
sexual activity. Some adult virgins live with shame and loneliness.
If only they knew that healing is just a click
away.
Dr. Wendy Walsh holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and her area of interest is Attachment Theory, a psychological, evolutionary and ethological theory that provides a descriptive and explanatory framework for understanding interpersonal relationships between human beings. As a psychological assistant registered with the California Board of Psychology, Dr. Walsh has treated individuals, couples and families for a variety of mental health concerns including personality disorders, anger management, eating and substance disorders, and depression. Connect with Dr. Walsh on Facebook.
Read more: http://www.momlogic.com/2009/09/adult_virgins_sex_therapy_can_help.php#ixzz0RPJbzZLy
