Affinity Perspectives

Dear AJ and Dee:

My boyfriend and I broke up in May. I was feeling so lonely I decided to go to a club to meet someone else. Well, the guy I met was very nice but he kept pressing me to go to bed with him. I really didn't feel I was ready but after a lot of pressure I gave in. After a couple of months, he dropped me like a hot potato. Why do guys do this? What did I do wrong?

Still Lonely in DC

Dear AJ and Dee:

I am in love with a married man who I used to date. I know that he also cares for me, he shows it every way he can (we work together). He comes to my office three to four times a day and lately we have become very flirtatious with each other. I want to do the right thing because I suspect that things might get out of hand. What should I do?

Me and Mr. Jones

Dear Still Lonely

There isn't any one reason why | guys do this. Then, maybe there is because we allow them to do this to us. As for you, the only thing you did was to allow someone else to pressure you to do something you didn't want to do.
~ AJ

Girlfriend, Girlfriend!

We've all asked ourselves that question. But when you dance to the music, you pay the piper. What kind of man did you expect to meet in a club? The next time, follow your conviction which is guided by your spirit and wait 'til it guides you to your true spirit-mate and soul tie.
~ Dee

Dear Me:

Believe me, the proof is in the pudding. Stop while you are ahead of the game. Otherwise, you may begin to question what is the right thing. ~AJ

Dear Mr. Jones-NOT:

Short version: You want somebody to love? Get a parakeet honey because that dog is getting ready to bite! I know you love him, but you're walking on dangerous ground and I don't want you hurt. Pray on it, ask for guidance, and I am sure you will do the right thing.

~ Dee

Dear AJ and Dee:

I am so embarrassed and hurt. A few months ago I decided to make my old boyfriend who works with my son sit up and take notice of me. I wore the tightest and most revealing (my shape, not my body) outfit I had and strutted in front of him when he was getting off work. What I didn't know was that my son's other co-workers were there too. They used to respect me, now they think I'm a w----. I don't know what got into me! How can I fix this situation and get their respect back?

Too Late?

Dear AJ and Dee.

My husband and I are just "housemates". Sad to say, but we have been married for less than a year. He is a workaholic. I saw this same behavior before we were married, but I thought things would get better after we married. I still feel lonely and incomplete. HELP!

Housemate

Dear Too Late?

Believe me, respect is earned, but in this case let sleeping dogs lie. The most important thing is that you learn from this mistake.

~ AJ

Dear Too Late?:

I agree with Jackie! While fashion is a matter of individual taste, occasion, and perception (one man's w---- is another's queen), there is a line between looking fashionably "sassy" and whorish. A line that for women, unfortunately, is unconsciously crossed from time to time. Try this. My rule of thumb is to view myself in a full-length minor and if I think three times about it...I don't wear it.

 ~ Dee

Dear Housemate:

Whatever behavior you see before marriage that is the same behavior you will see afterwards unless GOD inter-venes. Although communicating your feelings to your mate is a must, you need to keep in mind that a man doesn't complete you, completeness comes from the inside knowing who you are, your purpose, and what you have been called to do. ~ AJ

Dear Housemate:

Jackie's right...but also, give him something GOOD to come home to. You're still honeymooners! Forget your pity party; stop complaining and pouting. Remember what you did to get that first date, to get that ring, then to get to the altar. Recreate the love, excitement, and romance you felt early on. We forget too soon what knocks a man to his knees and keeps him there... our righteous love.   Good luck! ~ Dee