It's pretty well accepted that girls mature faster than boys in most aspects of life. But what about when it comes to sex? While these days girls tend to have sex just as early and just as often as boys, what about older / more mature women who have past the days of "checking out the field" and have settled into long-term monogamous relationships?
Speaking from personal experience, when I first met my husband (my first and only lover) almost eight years ago , we used to go at it like freaking rabbits!! I mean whenever, wherever - his house, my house (whether parents were home or not), inside the car, on top of the car, restaurants, parks....well you get the point. But while his appetite for sex has not dwindled at all, I find myself not wanting it as much as I used to. Now make no mistake, I think my man is the sexiest man on the planet and I love nothing better than to watch him take a shower, or get dressed, or get undressed. He has the sexiest glutes that I have ever seen and his kisses leave me breathless.
So why don't I want to jump his bones as soon as he walks through the door? Why is it that most times it's only while we are having sex that I get really turned on and not before? Or why is it that most times, he's the one to initiate sex? Is it an unconscious response to the daily stress of getting up early every day, dealing with the jackasses of the world, both on the roads and in the workplace, coming home to cook, wash, clean....? Or is it that my libido has slowed down for a while and at some point it should pick back up? Or is it that even though we used to have sex so frequently before, I still wasn't at my prime and it was just a response to the relationship being new and exciting?
Some people say a woman reaches her sexual peak at 35, some say 40 or 50!! I'm just on the edge of 30, do I have to wait 5 or more years to match my husband's sexual appetite? Or do I just need to find a really good shrink to work out some deep seated issues that only a shrink can identify? But as Mo'Nique would say, why pay a shrink $500 an hour to lie on a couch and ask for help when you can go through therapy for free with an audience?
Talk to me people...
Am I past my sexual peak?
user
- Let’s talk: Comment (34) | Blog
- Email to a Friend
- Print this Page
From the Community…
-
Posted by Sun Aug 10, 2008 7:25pm PDT
Report AbuseI think I can relate. I'm going through the same thing but like you said I'm not paying anybody but try to spice it up with role playing, sexy outfits ,or edible treats.
-
Posted by Tue Aug 12, 2008 8:31am PDT
Report AbuseI would first like to address your primary concern, which is whether or not you are no longer in your prime, or have not reached your peak. Neither is the case.
When you and your husband 1st had sex, & you were at it like bunnies, you were in what's called the "honeymoon stage." It's always like that at 1st in a new relationship, & it typically changes after awhile. This leads to what's called "bonding," a shift in the relationship where concerns about finding a home, having children, etc. occurs.
Next, know that men are biologically different. Their sexual appetite goes back to the time we were cave dwellers, but it's too long an explanation for here. Just know that it is also normal for you and him to be different with regard to intensity.
That being said (& I hope at this point you realize that you are perfectly ok), there are several ways to spice up your sex life. Do you want to jump his bones when he comes home? Or be the initiator once in awhile? It may help to 1st realize what it is that turns you on. Pampering yourself in a warm bath with rose petals and candle-lights to get yourself in the right mood, perhaps?
Sometimes the mundane can dampen interest over time as well. Perhaps you can practice new positions. Do you have any favorite fantasies you would like to act out? Your husband would probably be more than open to hearing about them. Revealing your erotic thoughts to him is very sexy & I'm sure he would love to hear them!
Whatever you decide to do, know that relationships do go through phases; one of them being the condition you have described. You are fine, & don't need a psychologist. I have a feeling that your husband will appreciate the fact that this has come to your attention that you are seeking to alter your sexual approach.
Good luck to both of you!
-
-
Posted by Sun Nov 9, 2008 6:54pm PST
Report AbuseWow--all these sex-starved marrieds. I feel bad 4 u. Variety is the spice of life-and that goes 4 men 2. I am 50 and can outlay any 25 yr, old, or other 50 yr. old. Don't deny yourself, girlfriend! Go 4 the spice!!!!
leave your comment
You must sign in to post a comment