I recently attended a weekend workshop on women's sexuality presented by White Tigresses, followers of ancient Chinese sexual teachings dating back 3,000 years. The workshop was designed to help clear up blocks to intimacy and get the women participants back in touch with their sexy selves again. And boy, did it.
For two days we learned about how to use the vastness of our feminine vitality to maintain our youthfulness. The Tigresses teach that women are receptive, yielding and soft, like water. They personify yin energy, but have gotten out of balance by being “in the world” and becoming more aggressive. A return to femininity – to softness and yielding – attracts and draws out the best in men.
The Tigresses advise strengthening the woman’s yin and the man’s yang to build the strongest relationship. “When you enjoy him – his look, his scent, his manliness – he is captivated. And then you get to absorb his male essence,” says Amara, the workshop's leader.
It’s hard to boil down 3,000 years of history and a whole weekend of intense teachings into a few paragraphs. So I’ll just share some White Tigress tips about attracting men and engaging them sexually.
1. Men like to hunt and enjoy the challenge of finding something, of solving a mystery. So don’t give it all up right away. Give him something to hunt for. Let him discover something.2. Practice the art of touch. When you’re out in public or just in casual conversation, touch him on his arm, his collarbone, at the back of his shoulder, on his chest right where he would put his hand for the Pledge of Allegiance. If you want to have sex with him, touch him on the inner thigh.
The key is subtlety. Don’t push it. Keep it light, lingering briefly with your hand and then withdrawing.
3. Imagine him with an erection. This one is key. Look into a man’s eyes, listen to him talk – and hold that mental image. He will lose his train of thought, wonder what’s going on.
4. Stay soft. Don’t take over or be demanding. Let go of your own agenda. Be loyal and faithful, have integrity and honor your word.
5. Enjoy the variety of men and male energy. When you focus only on “the one” you lose your openness. You can be in a relationship and still appreciate and absorb male attention and essence in your daily life.
Yes, there is a submissive aspect to this sexual dynamic, but Amara believes submissiveness is not a giving up of all power, letting someone run your life and dominate you. By deliberately choosing to allow the power and strength of a lover to roll over her, a woman is actually empowering herself and her man.
“When you’re not judgmental about men,” says Amara, “you become more compassionate and they become more attractive – as well as more attracted to you.”
For more information, see LoveHowTo.com.
