Love + Sex

Monday, December 14, 2009

Are Luck and Destiny Related?


Leprechuan

http://www.screenhead.com/reviews/lights-camera-begorrah-the-best-and-worst-of-irish-cinema/

The otherday some work friends and I were lamenting the long month of March and its lackof holidays.

My friendpointed out that we do have St Patrick's Day in the middle of the month tobreak up the long wait for winter's end.

Talkingabout St. Patrick's Day reminded me of how every story I hear about peoplemeeting one another involves so much luck. When I think of the stupid things that happen to me, Iwonder if I'm just destined to be luckless and alone. People in my life are in relationships that are based onchance meetings:


My Mom& Dad

My dad grewup in the Philippines where he and his siblings slept on a hut floor likesardines and could hear the giant flying roaches slamming into the thatchedroof in the dark of night. My momgrew up in Baltimore, the daughter of a stay-at-home mother who never went tocollege, and a father who was a stonemason. She worked hard and always stayed at the top of herclass. She attended MarylandMedical School when 90% of the medical classes were comprised of men. Meanwhile, my dad was working hard tooand came to the USA to attend-you guessed it-Maryland Medical School. The chances of both of these peoplemaking it medical school, and meeting from other sides of the earth werecertainly low. Man, I guess I'mlucky to be sitting here today too in that case!

My FriendFrom College and His Girlfriend

Right after college, Ibattled testicular cancer. In aneffort, after treatment, to return to work to a job that was familiar andmentally rewarding, I worked at my high school as an admissions counselor. Eventually, I moved to NYC to live withmy buddy from college, but I kept in touch with some of the students I hadworked with at the school. Oneday, years later, I got a call from one of the students from Friends who wasmoving to New York. I beganhanging out with him and his girlfriend. At his girlfriend's birthday a few months later, my college buddy mether friend and they are still together. Would they be together today if I never worked at Friends after gettingsick?

My FriendMargaret from Work and My High School Buddy

Mysophomore year of high school I thought I was finished making friends. However, my schedule left me with anopen period around 10 in the morning with this one kid. With nothing else during that openperiod but each other, that kid and I eventually became buddies over trips toDunkin Donuts and sports. Fast forward to 2005, my friend had moved back fromLA after getting a job in NYC. Inthe meantime I had become friends with this new girl in myoffice-Margaret. We hung outtogether out of the office and reveled in one another's romantic failures. One night, when I was out with a bunchof people, Margaret and my buddy ended up connecting. They are still dating. Would they be together if my high school schedule didn't put my buddyand I together in the morning for Dunkin Donut trips? What if Margaret had stayed in Richmond after she graduated,like she originally planned, or if my friend had stayed in LA? It all lined up just right...

Are thesestories based on luck, or destiny? Merriam-Webster tells me the following:

Destiny: apredetermined course of events often held to be an irresistible power or agency

Luck: theevents or circumstances that operate for or against an individual

Both dependon a course of events. Some ofthese can be negative, like when I got cancer. But that was an integral event in my buddy meeting hisgirlfriend.

Perhapsdestiny depends on a lot of lucky events adding up to fulfill thatdestiny. So, this makes thingstougher for me than I thought: notonly do I need to have good game, but I also need a bunch of lucky events tolead me to the one.

Do you haveany stories about people who got together through an amazing list ofcircumstances or events that related to one another? How do you think destiny and luck fit together in dating andlove? Do you believe that our soulmates could be pre-determined?


Posted by Rich

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 12
  • Rae's Avatar
    Posted by Rae Tue Feb 3, 2009 4:24pm PST

    Oy Carrumba. This could be nature vs nurture all over again :)

    Yeah things could fall into the destiny folder.

    I think action has to be invoked in order for it all to happen. Call the corners or light a candle or whatever it takes to set things in motion that way Murphy and a few other laws can get involved.

    I would like to think we get some say in the matter...even if the idea of magnets clunking together is kinda cute. I just have to tell you, I dont know. I would need to consult the magic 8 ball on this one, and then head over to the card section for enlightenment! I would like to kiss the blarney stone once, but that requires a trip, etc. My horoscope said I need to learn French. I cant even type French, Rosetta Stone might help..."Good Luck!"-Rachel.

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  • Naila's Avatar
    Posted by Naila Tue Feb 3, 2009 11:44pm PST

    i think dating has more to do with destiny than luck... unless you're destined to have good luck that day hehehe

    anyway i realised that whenever i try too hard to get with whichever guy i like at the moment, it just backfires. if it's meant to be, it will happen. if not, then no matter what you do, it will never happen

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  • J Medrano's Avatar
    Posted by J Medrano Wed Feb 4, 2009 10:25am PST

    What you're talking about is what I like to call, "Everything happens for a reason." I believe that the majority of my life has been a series of life chioces and a chain of events leading to one another. I also think that way..like not just a few months back..but years back. The thing is, that because I believe that all things good and bad happened to me for a reason, I can feel personal remorse but really no circumstantial regret. I can say, "That was really stupid!" In the end, though, looking back, I think that maybe that's just the way it had to be for a while.

    I have dozens of examples from my life...Like meeting my husband at a Christmas party that I almost forgot about...that happened to be in my hometown that I haven't lived in since 3 years prior, nonetheless, had I talked to my friend (her party) in quite a while.

    A better example of the clash between choice and destiny would be the US History concept of Manifest Destiny. (Think back..HIST 210) They say that the sheer numbers involved (Colonies VS Britian) in the American Revolution would have been similar to the state of California battling the rest of the entire United States. Go Cali!..haha. Anyway, so here's to "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness." It had to be destined, right? Okay, but did that mean that it was also okay (or destiny) for us to buy and sell humans like cattle or separate our land by color? Go figure.

    Perhaps the best life "Oxymoron" is Childbirth Labor. Hours and Hours of excrutiating pain and wondering why this "choice" was made...then..all in one moment..you know why..when you see that child look right at you. Take care.

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  • gemma's Avatar
    Posted by gemma Wed Feb 4, 2009 11:45am PST

    I believe more in destiny when it comes to love. The stars line up and you meet that just right person.

    I was in the right place at the right time and met my college boyfriend. We had gone to school together for 3 and a half years and never crossed paths, but we were both out at a happy hour on Friday and I was sitting with one of his old roommates so he came to say hello. We both agreed that if we had met anytime before, it wouldn't have worked out because we had to be at the right spots in our lives and I believe destiny brought us together when we were!

    It didn't work out long term, though, so now I'm waiting for a little more destiny to come my way!

    I think luck is a good parking spot at the gym!

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  • Sarah's Avatar
    Posted by Sarah Wed Feb 4, 2009 12:47pm PST

    I believe in destiny and luck...my friends own an Irish pub and that place has pulled all of us together, it is where they met their wives and husbands and perhaps thats why I hang out there because I hope it would be lucky for me, lol. It's like the pub was meant to open and they were destined to meet each other there...

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  • Jess's Avatar
    Posted by Jess Wed Feb 4, 2009 2:17pm PST

    I guess I'm too much of a control freak to believe in destiny. I just can't believe that anything in life is pre-determined, at least not by some sort of omnicient presence. I would hate to think that if I put a ton of effort into anything, be it a romantic relationship or a professional goal, that the outcome would be based on some design that had nothing to do with me. That's just too depressing.

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  • Jess's Avatar
    Posted by Jess Wed Feb 4, 2009 2:17pm PST

    I guess I'm too much of a control freak to believe in destiny. I just can't believe that anything in life is pre-determined, at least not by some sort of omniscient presence. I would hate to think that if I put a ton of effort into anything, be it a romantic relationship or a professional goal, that the outcome would be based on some design that had nothing to do with me. That's just too depressing.

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  • Kate's Avatar
    Posted by Kate Thu Feb 5, 2009 6:11am PST

    I don,t know if it was fate or not the nite I met my husband . We met on a blind date by my college roomates boyfriend at the time more than 30 years ago . If it hadn,t been for that nite we would have never met .Our marriage is still going strong after all these years .We came from such diffierent backgrounds but we are very glad that we did . We say that if we hadn,t met we probably would be divorced .

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