Dear Dr. Kate,
I am a woman in my mid-30s, in love with and living with my boyfriend and best friend. One problem that often occurs when we have sex in the (for lack of a better term) "doggie-style" position is that if my boyfriend comes out of my vagina and re-enters, my vagina expands and feels loose. We also hear sounds that resemble passing gas or fluids coming from my vagina. Needless to say, this is quite distressing as it ruins the mood and we lose interest in finishing the act. I have tried to research this problem but have not found any way to prevent this from occurring. Could you explain what is occurring and, is there anything or things we can do to prevent this situation?
Distressed
Dear Distressed,
I haven't heard patients talk about feeling "loose" in the situation you describe: my best guess is that you're really aroused (yay!) so your vagina has gone through the appropriate changes--she gets longer and a bit wider to better accommodate your guy. These are all good things.
With regards to the sounds, what you are describing is a very common occurrence during sex that's nicknamed queef or vart, as in vaginal fart. Think of the penis as pumping air into your vagina during thrusting. The air can sometimes escape audibly, producing those sounds. Sounds tend to be more common in the rear entry position due to the angle of penetration. It doesn't mean you're over- or under-lubricated, and doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your pelvic muscles.
Video: How Do You React to a Queef or Fart During Sex?
If you can't laugh about the sounds together, and recognize them as simply the by-product of good sex, I think you have two options. You can alter how you have sex--think different positions, shallower penetration, or slower thrusting. If all else fails, turn up the music!
How do you feel about the...extra sounds during sex?
Related: An ob-gyn explains what's really going on down there.
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