Love + Sex

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Ask the Wise Guys: Do Condoms Really Feel All That Bad?


Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. Today they answer the following: Okay, so how different is intercourse with a condom? What does it feel like? Do different kinds of condoms make a difference?

Straight Married Guy (Fred): It’s different.  It’s not as good.  Think pancakes without the syrup.  Scratching an itch with the palm of your hand.  A foot massage while wearing slippers.  “American Idol” without Adam Lambert.  It’s still okay, just not great.  It can be frustrating for guys because everything else about the experience is vivid but where it really counts it is dull.  And we know what it feels like au natural.  Different types of condoms definitely make a difference.  Anything that says super-thin, ultra-thin, sensitive, etc., are usually waaaay better than your regular, cheap, vending-machine rubbers.  Sometimes you have to use them.  If you’re dating, it’s obviously a must.  Ladies, if you’re buying, do him the favor of getting the thin, high quality ones.  And remember, the more excited he is, the less he’ll be distracted by the lack of feeling, so getting a little naughtier than usual can really help.

Gay Engaged Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): I’m an exclusive bottom, so I had to e-mail hundreds of — er, a few past sexual partners to ask them.  The general consensus was that it’s different but not by a whole lot.  With a condom you have less sensation (”33% less,” said one when I asked) but you last longer (I didn’t ask, but the obsessive-compulsive in me has decided that it’s 33% longer), so it’s kind of a trade-off.  Thin condoms are better, apparently, and polyurethane condoms are by far the best (though they’re more expensive).  All the men surveyed said that condoms felt better when they were having sex with me than with other partners.

Straight Single Guy (L.A. Chris): It’s very different. Basically, it sucks. But not in a good way. What is it like? It’s like getting a massage with a sweater on. It’s like watching a movie with the sound off. I guess a way to describe it to a woman is that it’s like having sex with a guy with a really small penis. It’s sex…but not really. If you have to wear one (and you definitely should if you’re having casual sex), thinner condoms are better, and it helps to find one that fits right.

Em & Lo's “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Engaged Guy is Joel Derfner, author of Swish. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 36
  • brian's Avatar
    Posted by brian Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:22pm PDT

    Its not as sensitive, but its way better than a pregnancy.

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  • Alexzadria's Avatar
    Posted by Alexzadria Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:24pm PDT

    Damn suck for the 15 year old girl who got "accidently" pregnant ..

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  • Doug's Avatar
    Posted by Doug Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:39pm PDT

    It's not nearly as sensitive, in fact I very rarely get off while wearing one; plus the chances for the usual rounds 2-4 are cut dramatically. That's why I'm lucky to have a girlfriend on the pill, as it is more effective than a condom at preventing pregnancy and it lets her feel me climax inside of her. Naturally, condoms were worn in the beginning and were worn before my comitted time to safe-guard against disease, but natural feels way way better. Also, the quest to find a good fitting condom can be frustrating, am I right guys? Pick the wrong brand and you end up with a bruised ring around your johnson where the condom ends and that just kills your erection.

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  • raul63's Avatar
    Posted by raul63 Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:57pm PDT

    flat out no excuse they suck,but its better than getting the call"I need to talk to you" so 1/2 half of 1 or 1/2 of the other your choice

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  • j2's Avatar
    Posted by j2 Wed Jul 29, 2009 2:39pm PDT

    I'd say about 2/3rds less enjoyment with the use of a typical condom, more like getting your back scratched through a leather jacket. For sensation, the closest ones to nothing at all are natural "lamb", but they may not be as effective against STD's. They are very effective for pregnancy prevention, however.

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  • janell's Avatar
    Posted by janell Wed Jul 29, 2009 3:21pm PDT

    safe sex is GREAT SEX!!!!!

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  • Camel's Avatar
    Posted by Camel Wed Jul 29, 2009 3:53pm PDT

    Has anybody else tried some lube in the tip? It makes it feel more natural. Also what about things like "mint tingle" and what-not? Safe sex matters, so find out how to make it fun and still get your kicks.

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  • Kikki's Avatar
    Posted by Kikki Wed Jul 29, 2009 4:33pm PDT

    Try something like a stimulating gel with peppermint or l-arginine as the active ingredient. Warming, cooling, tingling lubes work too. Try lots of for-play. Guys remember when the girl doesn't orgasm it ain't that great for us either and you at least get to orgasm more often with or without a condom. (at least typically, I'm sure there are exceptions)

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  • Mandy's Avatar
    Posted by Mandy Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:34pm PDT

    I'm a girl so I can't say what feels better for all guys. My boyfriend absolutely loves the ultra-thin condoms. He says it actually does feel like you're wearing nothing. I've noticed when we don't use one, he seems to enjoy it quite more, and he performs a lot better too. He really gets into it.

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  • Cursed Romantic's Avatar
    Posted by Cursed Romantic Thu Jul 30, 2009 3:47am PDT

    I say you got 3 options overall: 1. Wear condom and have sex no matter how dull, 2. Your going to be a daddy or 3. Would you like those warts froze off or lasered off Mr. so and so? People can play games with their lives that way if they wish, but everybody knows what it boils down to.

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