Bathing Suit Disasters....

My last embarrassingly funny blog seemed to have dredged up a whole mess of growing pain disasters that I think might be worth sharing, seeing how so many of us can related on some level. So, here goes nothing...

The beach and ocean has been part of who I am from the beginning. Growing up in southern California I practically lived in my bathing suit from sun up till sun down all summer long. After moving to Hawaii, bathing suits were part of my outfit year around much like a required uniform for fun. Needless to say my bathing suits were like second skin to me. That being said, one can see how tempting the gods of fate would result sooner or later with me in bathing suit disaster or two or three or..... COUNTLESS disasters!

Let me just start by setting the records straight. I was a late bloomer in the looks department. I was a chubby kid with a bad hair cut and a unibrow who, in a unfortunate 2nd grade milk line incident involving the class bully and myself, had lost my two front teeth. I sported 2 false teeth that were shabbily stained pale yellow for years. I was by no means a beauty back then! When I finally emerged from the ugly duckling phase I was oblivious to it all. In fact, I was in complete denial. The only part of my anatomy that I couldn't ignore or deny were the arrival of my rather full breasts. They seemed to be as much of a novelty to the male population (and still are) as they were to me at the time. They practically sprung out of me over night, leaving me unprepared and questioning how to deal with my new body accessory. The real struggle was figuring out how to contain them when in my bathing suit. While I was way to bashful to wear a two piece back then, I could still do a lot of damage in a one piece if I wasn't careful. 

So It was a beautiful Southern California day and I was at my regular spot in Alamitos Bay with my two closest friends, Alicia and Lisa, and my twin sister, Christy. The four of us had positioned ourselves so that we had the best possible view of all those who pass by. After all, The Bay, as it was commonly referred to, was a place to see and bee seen (or at least we thought so). We had been sunbathing on our backs and having noticed it was time to roll over onto our stomaches to get that even tan, Alicia spotted a boy she had a huge crush on walking along the boardwalk. Being 15 year old girls, we were all tickled with delight when he waved hello to her. But we all freaked out with excitement when he paused, grinned broadly, and abandoned his buddies to come over to join us. He sat right down in the sand in front of the four of us causing us to act like bumbling fools. It didn't take long to notice that this boy was paying little attention to Alicia but was in fact glued to my every word. He even laughed at my sad attempts to be funny. I remember thinking something just wasn't right! Why would he bother listening to a word I said? After all, Alicia was the cute one. Thirty minutes later, my captive audience was beckoned by his buddies to catch up with them. You could see him struggling as he looked over his shoulder at his friends and back at me. He reluctantly stood up and bid his farewell. As soon as he was out of hearing range, the girls turned to me and grilled me with questions. I was starting to think that perhaps I was more interesting then I originally thought seeing how attentive this boy had been, when my sister took a closer look at me. To my dismay and to the hilarity of the other girls, she discovered that my right breast was completely out of my bathing suit and displayed on my beach towel like it was served on a silver platter. It seemed that when I rolled over onto my stomach, my breast escaped my suit! The embarrassment of exposing my breast was nothing compared to the horrible sun burn I suffered! OUCH! ;)