Bedroom Etiquette!

I've found it interesting as I have gotten older that what mom taught me in my younger years does not always apply. 

Brushing you hair in public, that thing is not acceptable, but it's perfectly acceptable to flip our hair or fluff up our hair in a public place to get the attention of a man, oh but that's just a thang! 

What about don't stare at people.  But what's it when women demurely get a guy's attention then hold it just short of being a stare? A thang.

I'm just breaking in slowly to a more insightful view of what's really going on here.  Mom had all kinds of ways that was or wasn't appropriate for "proper ladies" to act.  As I go on you'll soon see that the subject matter and the words proper, ladies, and act, should not be tied together, whilst the deed is going on. 

Question of the day.  How did your mom feel about spitting?  My mom told me spitting was unladylike and she never wanted to catch me doing it EVER! (She also insisted I eat everything I was given and never quit until I had a happy plate)  So can you see where I'm headed with this?



Guys I can tell you this; most women, don't really like BJ's , but I can say you have to look at it from the stand point on how girls are raised.  We are encouraged to run from frogs, scream at worms, if it's dirty it's bad, if it's gooey it's nasty, if it's in a hole don't go after it, and for God's sake if it doesn't belong there keep it out of your mouth!   You know,...our mom's knew that BJ's were going to be one of those life lesson's that she wouldn't and couldn't teach us.  But you'd think that she could have at least made it a little easier on us than to have to over come all the mind freak games between adjectives and real life.

So back to spit or not to spit, that is the question, tis nobler to....  Guys, so you're all kicked back with your favorite girl,  skreetch....stop there. 
If you're not getting that action, having to ask for it, or doing a slight of hand pushing her head down, or  how ever its happening on your side of town, if it's not a totally ready, willing and honey let me suck you till your fillings fall out... you needa be axin yourself a few questions first. 

Number 1....selfish as this sounds....and it very well may be...but...it's true...Are you likin the kitten? If you aren't willing to lick the kitty until she purrs chances are very high that you are going to get a half ass BJ if you get that.  Now all you dumb asses that say a bad one is better than none, never had a good one to start with and you deserve what you get!  But for those of you who really want to get down to a hurricane Katrina force between your legs with a cum that you won't forget for a while, mind what I say.  It's all about the kitten!!!  Personally, I want to be remembered for my BJ's, and I AM!

Number 2...how's your Manscaping?  (Thanks Ken)    I love a man with chest hair, or not, but if he's looking like Chewbakka down there I'm making reservations elsewhere thank you!  Now, I don't like a pubescent look, but I definitely like to see what's up.  Hey, how bout this.  If you've never scaped before or it's time to do it again get your girl into it.  You never know you might get it then and there.  I know I couldn't resist. Personally, when I'm on both knees looking down I wanna know when I slide my hot self onto his saddle I'm gonna be free and clear to ride it to Texas with no tumble weeds in my path. Hey, I sport a Brazilian, So, guys, yippykiyeah!

Number 3...I love a man that is not only freshly showered, but wears a good sexy cologne.  There are just a few that happen to be ones that are real barn burners for me.  If you want to know what they are call me and I'll tell you.  But honey...I can tell you what, if you happen to wear one of my favorites you'll be needing to see the dentist when I'm done with you.  And I'll need to have my stomach pumped, joking!  You won't be forgetting how I smell, because I'm always sultry, sexy smelling.  Take a que girls, think about kitty!   Hey if guys can think about their dicks then we should think about our kitty. 

Back to it.  No, it's rude, crude, and totally unacceptable to blow a guy and spit.  If a girl doesn't want to do that then she needs to get it straight up front.  Here's something I have wondered about, so if any of you guys out there have any insight let me know.
I'm really in to kissing.  I love to kiss.  I can tell a lot about a guy by how he kisses.  I can tell how the sex is going to be between us by how he kisses me.  I had a situation where it was hot between us, it was on full force.  He's into Miss Kitty knows just how to pet her and kiss her and lick her and make her purr loudly, sometimes more than once, ahem.... then when I'm doing my "Candi Cane" special tricks on him and make him do things never before or rarely before achieved (oh yes) and he's cum and IT's "went" then he suddenly doesn't want to kiss me?  Hey I kissed his mouth after it was all over Miss Kitty.  What's up with that?  Insult!! That's another way to not get it, fellas.

Girls look, get over it!  There is no "proper lady"  way to give your man a BJ , unless you do an acting job.  And if you're gonna do that then you wouldn't be worried about being proper anyway, that'd be called porn star!  Guys are guys, they just want their dick sucked, but I can assure you of this fact.   You can't be really good at it and spit.  Think about it.  How would you perceive him if he licked you til you came like never before and as he was coming up from kitty you heard, eewwwee, phwt!  Then saw him wiping his face like he was disgusted? If that has happened to you I know you remember it, and hopefully you had enough sense to make that the last time you saw him. 

Spitting equals an act of sex...      Swallowing makes it an Art! 

I know mom gave me plenty to overcome in my life with all the adjectives that confused me when I had to restructure the meanings to fit my adult life.  Little did she know that she would make me an artist! 
Here's to the happy plate!  Thanks mom.