Love + Sex

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Better to have Loved and Lost than to never have Loved before?

Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?  I used to believe in that statement but recent events have lead me to question that whole thought process.  I think in some cases it is better to experience love than not at all.  For most people it takes a lifetime to find true love and be able to give yourself completely to that person.  Once you do and something happens that dissolves it, then what are you left with?  Believing in love means that in that situation, you would pick up the pieces and keep moving forward.  Does there ever come a time when you no longer want to believe in love?  Is it ever ok to give up on love?  You never can really answer that question until you get into that situation yourself.  People can tell you to never stop believing and never give up, but how much failure can one person take?  The strength of our character is generally tested every day.  Some tests we can fly through with no problems while others challenge everything we believe in.  There are certain things I will always believe in but that does not mean I believe in them for myself.  It is not a guarantee that every person will find true love and live happily ever after.  Those guarantees only happen in fairy tales.  As much as I would love for my life to be like a fairy tale, I live in the real world and it is a cruel world.  The only love that I know will be everlasting in my life is the love of my child.  A child’s capacity for love is like nothing else on this planet.  My role as a mother has always been important to me and has always been my number one priority.  Nobody has the right to degrade my priorities especially when it comes to my child.

 

People are far from perfect but the important thing is that we try.  I have poured my heart and soul into everything that I have done to make my life what it can be.  It has fallen short many times.  So is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before?  I guess it depends on what kind of love you are talking about.  I would never trade the love I have with my son for anything in the world.  The love for my family, friends and even the family pet, is all precious and has its place in my life.  For that one true love that may or may not be out there for me…..well I just don’t know.  I can say that past relationships have taught me a lot and those life lessons were worth the heartache at that point in my life.  For any future love that potentially could be out there for me……..I guess I will have to wait and see.  I am not actively looking and never will again.  If it is meant to be then it will happen for me.  If it is not meant to be then I will have my answer…….

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From the Community…

Comments 1-9 of 9
  • CANIS's Avatar
    Posted by CANIS Fri Nov 13, 2009 8:01am PST

    Simple basic bare bones fact; Love sucks.

    Why anyone would choose a possible rotten one as opposed to singular life is beyond my comprehension....It is better to have accepted that 3out of 5times yer screwed.

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  • BryanB's Avatar
    Posted by BryanB Fri Nov 13, 2009 8:10am PST

    love can hurt it can also be great but it will take bouth to truly appreacte what we end up and were it takes us life is a jourrney isnt it

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  • Bianca's Avatar
    Posted by Bianca Fri Nov 13, 2009 8:25am PST

    IN EVERYTHING YOU DON'T EVER STOP LOVING AND YOU CAN AND SOMETIMES WILL GIVE UP ON LOVE BUT IT'S THAT. BUT IF IT'S TURELY LOVE IT WILL REALIZE THAT AND BE BACK

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  • TasselLady's Avatar
    Posted by TasselLady Fri Nov 13, 2009 8:31am PST

    I don't know. After a string of failed relationships, I'm wishing that I hadn't got involved in the way I did. If I hadn't, I wouldn't feel all of the mental scars I have to live with each and everyday. Maybe one day if the right one comes, then it will be better. But in the meantime, I'm doing the best I can and being good to my family, friends, my church family, and most of all, to God. It seems that love today means manipulation and control, and constantly having to worry about being cheated on. I'll remain alone until I find a good one. Love really can hurt badly.

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  • Tired Of The Prejudice's Avatar
    Posted by Tired Of The Prejudice Fri Nov 13, 2009 5:40pm PST

    I'm a single male whose never dated a single mother but I have a close friend at work who has been a single mom for years. We'll call her Janet. She kept dating one loser after another (more than 5 guys less than 20). Most were younger men than her about 4 years or less some were older by 5 years or less. We would talk about how they treated her like crap and never really did anything for her. I kept telling her she would find the right man one day and not to lose hope. I've been in many relationships in my 26 years on this world so I knew what I was talking about. Plus she is a really amazing woman especially when it comes to taking care of her young daughters. One day Janet met this guy we'll call him Sean, in her neighborhood. The guy is 10 years older than her. They clicked, and got engaged several months later. They plan on getting married next year in July. Janet's daughters also like Sean who also has two daughters of his own that get along with them too. Currently Janet is the happiest woman I know.

    Moral of the story, DON'T give up on love no matter how many failed relationships you've had. People come and go but it is not a reason to give up hope and shut yourself out from the rest of the world. Give yourself a chance, love CAN happen. This is no joke or some made up story I'm typing to make people feel better. Perhaps you need an older man who can relate to the things you go through and have gone through everyday. I wish you the best of luck.

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  • madyx's Avatar
    Posted by madyx Sat Nov 14, 2009 7:16pm PST

    Thank you "lost in house music" for your story it realy made me feel better. I have been with so many jerk that I wonder if I would ever find real love. But I know with god everything is possible

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  • Ahnighta B's Avatar
    Posted by Ahnighta B Sun Nov 15, 2009 8:46am PST

    As long as you learn from the experience.Think of your next love as your teacher. I have had many loves and learned from each.... good and bad. All those experiences improved me as a the woman I am now. As I have Posted before, no relationship is as important as the one you have with yourself.

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  • Brneyedfem80's Avatar
    Posted by Brneyedfem80 Tue Nov 17, 2009 3:13pm PST

    I personally think that it is easy for people to say that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all but when you have loved and lost a couple of times its hard to believe in Love.....but even though im not sure if i believe in Love anymore..... i do believe that whats meant to be will be.

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  • James S's Avatar
    Posted by James S Fri Jan 29, 2010 7:07pm PST

    Love is about giving yourself to another human. There is different types of love. There is unconditional love, which is primarily family. They love you because you are an offspring no matter what you do. Well most things. Love between 2 people that do not have a gene link is or can get complicated. You could actually love someone but no be in love with them. To love someone is the same as being family. Have strong feelings that are non-sexual. To be in love with someone means that they basically are a part of you both in the physical, emotional and societal way that most people equate to marriage. Just like family, there is extreme emotions, from love to hatred and back again. Love is simply giving yourself to someone else with an understanding that love may or may not exist to the one you are gvig it to. Either case you should never give up on love

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