Love + Sex

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Breakup Recovery 101: Five Rules You Must Follow!

Whether or not you were together for two weeks, six months, or four years, breakups hurt. And they can be really hard to get over. If you listen to the wise words of Charlotte on Sex and the City, it takes half the time you were together to get over him. Here are a few more wise words to help make your next breakup a little easier.

Don't Talk to Him

The most crucial rule in breaking up is to not talk to the person you're breaking up with. Even if you think you can handle it and still get over the person, you can't. Don't kid yourself; feelings will get hurt. Take some time off, get over him, and maybe someday in the future you'll be friends. Until then, lick your wounds and recover any way you'd like; whether that be partying hard, staying in bed for days with pints of ice cream, or spending absurd amounts of money on clothes you don't need. No one will say a thing; we all heal in our own, weird ways.

Snap Out of It

Remember how things, like stupid songs and movies and that little spot in the park that you two went to on your first date used to be "yours"? Well, they're not anymore. Don't make a connection to platonic objects when there isn't one. Remind yourself that you like that spot in the park because of the good view, not because of anyone connected to it. There's no point losing more than you have to from a breakup, so don't get all sappy on yourself.

Reconnect with Your Friends

No matter how much you say you're not going to be that girl who gives up her friends for her boyfriend; everyone gives up a little of their time to spend with their guy. Well, now is the time to make it up to them (and, you could use the girl talk). So, go out and have fun; grab your best wing woman, and remember how much fun being single really is.

Take Some Time For Yourself

Amidst all of this trying not to talk to him, hanging out with friends, partying more and/or eating lots and lots of ice cream-you need to remember to sit back and actually work through your feelings. Understand why things went south, and why you're better off this way. And in no time you'll be back to your old self, and what's-his-name will be a thing of the past.

It's All About Rewards

And finally, do all of the little things that make you happy every day. Yep, being single means thinking about you, you, you. So, go and take that extra time after work and buy yourself that little ring you've been obsessing over. Or take a long walk and meet a friend for cupcakes because well, you can. Have fun spoiling yourself, because you deserve it after....wait, what? I'm forgetting already.

More Relationship and Dating Advice on StyleCaster:

Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 494
  • Anne's Avatar
    Posted by Anne Tue Oct 6, 2009 1:38pm PDT

    getting to spend more time with your friends is the best part of a break-up

    Report Abuse
  • Haley's Avatar
    Posted by Haley Tue Oct 6, 2009 1:38pm PDT

    Whoever wrote this article has some great pointers

    Report Abuse
  • CowboyPants's Avatar
    Posted by CowboyPants Tue Oct 6, 2009 1:40pm PDT

    Good advice about the locations, I think that is the hardest part about breaking up.

    Report Abuse
  • Rachel's Avatar
    Posted by Rachel Tue Oct 6, 2009 1:41pm PDT

    easier said than done.

    Report Abuse
  • daws1186's Avatar
    Posted by daws1186 Tue Oct 6, 2009 1:49pm PDT

    this makes me want ice cream....and hate boys and break ups.

    Report Abuse
  • Janice's Avatar
    Posted by Janice Tue Oct 6, 2009 2:08pm PDT

    It took me so long to not think, "Ohmigod this was OUR SONG!!!" to half the songs on my iPod after breaking up with my ex. Wish I had these pointers then...

    Report Abuse
  • Meg's Avatar
    Posted by Meg Tue Oct 6, 2009 2:17pm PDT

    You forgot one: BLOCK HIM

    Delete the number and email and be sure to block him on all social media fronts: Twitter, Facebook, MySpace if you actually have one. You are saving yourself from tons of drama. Trust me.

    Report Abuse
  • Jesse's Avatar
    Posted by Jesse Tue Oct 6, 2009 2:26pm PDT

    Easier said than done!

    Report Abuse
  • Kylie Ladd's Avatar
    Posted by Kylie Ladd Tue Oct 6, 2009 2:43pm PDT

    I think I need to follow the rewards rule a little better...

    Report Abuse
  • Juliane's Avatar
    Posted by Juliane Tue Oct 6, 2009 3:18pm PDT

    The best thing to do is to go out and spend time with the girls, but also just enjoy yourself and go for a drink and dance, this will get the stress out, dance, dance, dance and enjoy life! He is not the one, stay positive, you will find the one, I am sure!!! ;)

    Report Abuse
Comments 1-10 of 494

leave your comment

You must sign in to post a comment

Sign In for personalized information

New User? Sign Up

Updates Chatter on Shine…

Love Byte

Skip the multiple-choice quiz, and read up on if you're a mom, a nag, too clingy, or perfect in every way. Aren't we all?