We get it--after all, who hasn't made questionable dating choices in their 20s?--but in the meantime, let's take a little trip down memory lane, shall we?
MTV
The fling: Fans across the world were pulling for the former Mouseketeers and reigning pop prince and princess to live happily ever after. Sadly, not only did a February Rolling Stone article allege that a high school boyfriend named Reg Jones, not Justin, popped her cherry at 14, but also that Timberlake broke up with Britney after finding a steamy "mash note" written by choreographer Wade Robson in her Saturday Night Live dressing room.
The lesson: Don't throw away something good by dallying with the backup dancers.
Entertainment Weekly
The fling: In some ways, high-school boyfriend Jason could have been a good guy for Britney. They knew each other from simpler times way back when, and he seemed like a nice enough dude. However, revelations later claimed that on the now infamous Vegas trip where they married, "she packed her bags on a plane for three days of partying in Las Vegas - cocaine during the evening, Ecstasy in the early morning and Xanax to sleep, according to Alexander." A quick annulment aimed to squash the PR disaster.
The lesson: What happens in Vegas doesn't necessarily stay out of the ever prying eyes of the tabloids. Oh, and don't get married there unless you've been planning on it for more than 24 hours and/or are sober.
Top News Light Reading
The fling: Clearly, those backup dancers are good times. Despite the public outcry against the loserly drip who was known as the "Meat Pole" on the L.A. club scene, Britney threw caution to the wind and embarked on a tabloid saturated romance that resulted in a creepy reality show, a short-lived rap career for Federline, two children, a divorce by text message, the subsequent nasty public custody battle, and such out-of-control nervous breakdown antics on Britney's part that in the end, Kevin came out looking like a real standup citizen.
The lesson: As she reveals in her MTV special, "Britney: For the Record," "I think I married for the wrong reasons...instead of following my heart, and doing what we make me happy, it was just for the sake of the idea of everything." (Watch the clip here.)
Whatshappeninnow
The fling: Britney hired Sam Lutfi as her manager and boyfriend based on the fact that he claimed to be Kevin Federline's private eye, and revealed to her assistant that there "was a tap on Britney's phones and a warrant to search her Malibu home." Besides seeming just plain sketchy, he's also been accused of secretly drugging the star by claiming it was for her own good and tipping off the paparazzi about her whereabouts for his own personal gain. Today, there is a restraining order against him.
The lesson: A guy who is secretly drugging you in order to possibly sell nude pics of you or whatever probably doesn't have your best interests in mind after all.
Zimbio
The guy: Adnan Ghalib
The fling: Please Britney, walk away from the paparazzo. In the midst of Britney's most scandalous behavior ever, she shocked fans by sleeping with the enemy, so to speak, leading MTV news to speculate whether or not she was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. Ghalib, also blamed for exploiting the clearly ill Spears, was kicked to the curb when her father, Jamie, was granted legal conservatorship over her life, although rumors continue to fly that this romance is still on, (the DL, that is).
The lesson: The guys who profit from stalking you are not part of an appropriate dating pool.
While Britney claims that she has been dating here and there--both one recent Harry Potter lookalike and a martial arts devotee failed to make the grade--let's hope she takes a step back from the dating scene for awhile. Because you know what they say: You can't love someone until you love yourself.
Now you tell us: What qualities should the future Mr. Britney Spears possess?
See also:
The best and worst of Britney's hair-slideshow
Yes she can! Britney is back
Britney Spears on Yahoo OMG!