Love + Sex

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Can an abortion blog be a good thing?

 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days

4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days


When you hear the not so usual phrase "abortion blog," well, no one has a terribly enthusiastic reaction. After all, when it comes to unplanned pregnancy, the mandate is, tell no one, keep your head down, get it over with and march on like a brave soldier. Fact is, young women lacking familial support often find themselves guarding a terrible secret when it comes to making certain decisions regarding their right to chose. Enter the abortion blogger, whose slogan reads, "I'm 23. I'm knocked up. And I don't want to keep it. You can fu*k yourself, Judd Apatow." If that doesn't tell you enough, the name of her site does: "What to expect when you're aborting."

Again, the idea of a public abortion diary does not exactly inspire lovey dovey feelings. When I first heard about this blog, I threw my hands up in the air and thought of Heidi Montag and the age of anything for P.R.: Is nothing sacred? So I did some investigating. Turns out, the intention is well meaning: When this particular young woman sought out advice regarding her unplanned pregnancy and the possibility of abortion, all she was met with with was jaded Planned Pregnancy workers and a bevy of hardcore religious sites that claimed she was pure evil and going down no matter what route she chose to take.

Not exactly supportive and certainly not informational.

Instead, she decided to create a blog that recorded her own experiences and offered a message of hope and empowerment to similar females faced with the same experience. Lest we jump to conclusions here, she is not advocating or in any way, shape or form encouraging young women to get abortions. She is simply trying to offer a message of "Hey, this is an issue we should address, right?" and "You're not alone."

I'm pro-choice, but I'm not a huge abortion advocate in that I support more in depth sex education and preventative actions such as more access to birth control because I understand that such an invasive surgery can be traumatizing, no doubt. However, I fully, and I mean, fully, believe in a woman's right to exercise control over her body and abortion certainly falls into that category, (in fact, I argued for pro-choice in a precocious 6th grade debate team argument, so I've been following this issue for a long, long time).

But in this day and age, part of the media as we know it implies confessional documentation of one's experience, in this case, in hopes of it benefiting the greater good. Well, that's something I can get behind. Do you think we're lacking in terms of resources for women going through the excruciating decision and subsequent experience that is the process of having an abortion?
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Comments 1-10 of 218
  • Maria's Avatar
    Posted by Maria Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:58am PDT

    When I was pregnant it was unplanned, and I hid it from my extremely religious parents for six months.

    I hardly gained anything in that time because I was getting hardly any nutrients from having morning sickness twentyfour hours a day. Now that I think about it, I probably should have been hospitalized for it.... Anyway, when my church found out I was made to apologize to the congregation. Needless to say I'm not a fan of church anymore

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  • MelK's Avatar
    Posted by MelK Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:59am PDT

    I think they need the information.

    And they need birth control if they don't want kids.

    Thus why we should NOT have to abort.

    Abortion is preventable.

    And believe it or not, I'm pro-choice.

    Pro choice for those who've been raped.

    Those who've been victims of incest.

    Those who are too young and obviously didn't get the memo(though, I'm not sure what's more traumatic, abortion, or birth)

    And if the mothers life or health is at risk.

    Abortion should not be used as a form of birth control. If you're getting an abortion because you've "got enough kids" then you should be fixed as soon as possible after.

    Case in point, take responsibility for yourself and your life. That way you don't have to end another.

    AND PLEASE, there's always adoption!

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  • sunny's Avatar
    Posted by sunny Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:02am PDT

    Despite you supporting "more in depth sex education and preventative actions such as more access to birth control" I can say without reserve that this woman who is blogging about her abortion journey is 23 and more than capable of knowing what it takes to prevent pregnancy ... how about more encouragement and support for young women to take care of themselves and love themselves enough and their bodies to prevent this? How about more encouragement to be involved in loving, supporting, monogamous, important non-one-night-stand/friend-with-benefit relationships? People take sex too casually nowadays and it's a serious thing ... this mind set is being passed down to young kids who are jumping into sexual relationships waaay too fast ... at young ages preventative measures and birth control should not be taught ... abstinence and engaging in other, age appropriate activities should be ... then comes the question of "Well, what if a sexual situation comes up with my 12 year old daughter?? She needs to be taught that she needs to insist the boy wear a condom if they go that far ..." . My response to that is you're just endorsing the kids to do it ... point blank ...

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  • Ace's Avatar
    Posted by Ace Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:19am PDT

    Abortion seems so Medival, there are countless contception devices available. This is 2008, haven't women become smarter?! Because the surgery harms your body, why do it? The doctors go in and take out pieces of your uterus lining and the process can leave you barren. I understand the thought behind pro-choice, I just can't see any reason why anyone would take a chance to harm themselves to not deal with the adult choices they choose to make. So my conclusion is this: get smart...take every precation before hand. Learn yourselves on what is available to not get pregnant. Do it to protect your mental and physical self.

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  • Rae's Avatar
    Posted by Rae Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:19am PDT

    If they're going to do it they're going to do it. Wouldn't you rather your 12 year old was safe? That she had all the information she needed? You say sex is too casual these days - perhaps. Perhaps it depends on the individual. People need information to make choices for themselves.

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  • Rae's Avatar
    Posted by Rae Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:20am PDT

    I don't believe anybody has the right to force their own moral code on me - regardless of the issue. Nobody has the right to force me to believe what they believe.

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  • C's Avatar
    Posted by C Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:22am PDT

    Pro-choice to me, means that "I will not make decisions regarding YOUR body". Pro-choice does not mean that you are "pro-abortion" because I believe you will struggle to find anyone who is actually "pro-abortion". I agree it shouldn't be used as "birth control". But again, pro-choice means "I won't make your decisions for you, you have to take responsibility".

    We need more education. Where accurate education is found, so are lower rates of unwanted pregnancy and abortion. I also do think that yes, there is a dearth of unbiased information for women who find themselves here.

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  • Mmgirl's Avatar
    Posted by Mmgirl Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:31am PDT

    Wow Mellisa Kay and umm yeah you two are horrible. Listen to what you are saying. I'm pro-choice with stipulations and why should we teach our kids about sexual health. Seriously? I'm a little confused as to why you are so judgemental about sex to begin with. I am a grown woman who has prevented pregnancy for darn near 10 years now. I am very very pro-choice regardless of the circumstances. Adoption would not be an option for me nor would having a child if birth control failed, because I am not in a monogamous relationship and do not want to be a single parent. Sorry but I fully support my right to make that decision and I am old enough and have a job that I can support a child. I just don't want to. Am I wrong for that? Hell No I'm not! Now that is pro-choice. I think the information should be out there for someone who is looking for it. It should not be ridiled with opinions and should offer facts as well as expierences and what to expect.

    Now having said all the above I do not agree that abortions should be used as birth control. I can understand having one but if you are not using traditional birth control well then there is a problem. Accidents and unplanned things happen and we as women need to have the right to choose what we want to do with our bodies. Men aren't strapped down with a baby so they should have no say in the matter. Sorry guys!

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  • Rhonda K's Avatar
    Posted by Rhonda K Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:35am PDT

    Very well put She with the little feet! It is not our right to tell anyone what to do with there body. I also agree that abortion shouldnt be used as a birth control. If you have the money to get an abortion and the knowledge to get one, then you also have the money and knowledge to find a clinic to get birth control.

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  • Nini Poo's Avatar
    Posted by Nini Poo Thu Aug 28, 2008 10:06am PDT

    Mmgirl, don't attack Melissa Kay and umm yeah. We're all here to voice our opinions. They obviously have an opinion when it comes to abortion, as do you. The two reasons aren't even that different either so chill out. You all make sense-- it's up to the woman to decide what's best for HER and the potential life of her little one. Just because they believe abortion should only be reserved for certain circumstances doesn't mean you have to get all huffy and puffy. You yourself have your own stipulations, I quote from your post: "I do not agree that abortions should be used as birth control. I can understand having one but if you are not using traditional birth control well then there is a problem." WTF!?

    Yes, I agree that we should all be taught everything there is to know about everything so we can all make good decisions-- including ones about sex, but that's not reality. Some of us were brought up to abstain, others were taught to use protection. Others were taught nothing.

    Anyways, to answer the question the original blogger posts: "Do you think we're lacking in terms of resources for women going through the excruciating decision and subsequent experience that is the process of having an abortion?" Yes, I agree there are lacking resources-- but not only on abortion-- it starts at contraception. It starts with teaching parents that though they teach their children to abstain, they may not abstain and you have to educate them on consequences and prevention.

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