Can people change?

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  Posted by LeighAnne Tue Aug 26, 2008 7:53am PDT

  Personally my husband was the same way, right after our daughter was born he went off the deep end, drinking all the time, staying out all night, or coming home ----faced and ready to fight. But then after I packed me and my daughter up and left he decided to get his s--t together. He know is the loving man again I first married. So yes they can change, but be cautious getting back with him, go slow, make sure it is not just a cover. It's always great if it can still work out. Hey marriage isn't perfect right?! GOOD LUCK!

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  Posted by Bedazzler Tue Aug 26, 2008 7:57am PDT

  People do change; never give up hope. Just take it slow. I would strongly suggest that you NOT move back in with him. Just take it one day at a time, and see how it goes. Tell him he hurt you deeply, and it's going to take time to heal. You did the right thing by leaving until he got some help. At least he is taking strides in the right direction. I hope he stays sober and it works out for you. Good luck!

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  Posted by gjo Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:01am PDT

  Just be careful, if you have made that huge leap and got out of the situation going back and leaving agian would be ten times harder because he will hold it over your head. I have been married for a little over three years and though we have no children my husband also become a differnt person when he drinks.. We are high school sweethearts and in jan. he was in a drunken rage and hit me several times. I left for a couple of weeks, but he promised to change and that he would never drink again.. so I said one last chance.. he stopped drinking for about four mo's needless to say it has resumed.. He hasnt done anything sense but he has scared me and now I feel like im in a dead in situation where im stuck. He threatens me.. and he holds it over my head that I left him.. He use to be the perfect man, just make sure you really consider the options..

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  Posted by Lissia Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:03am PDT

  Well I do believe that some people can change, but that person really has to want to,or they will not. I have been in the some kinda situation with the drugs and alcohol and all things. He went to prison and i took him back thinking he will change, and he did not. He is back in there now and we will never get back together and we where together for 8 years. I wasted 8 years, So if you really think he has changed and you can see it, then give it another go , but start out just like dating take it slow, so you can tell if he has changed. Good Luck with what you choose.

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  Posted by Mr NMB Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:23am PDT

  People that want to change and do what it takes to can change and quit for life, but people that say they want to and never take the steps to do anything about it don't and will drag everyone arround them down.

  They will just keep telling everyone how they are going to yet the only one they they really need to convince in themselfs.

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  Posted by Raw Tue Aug 26, 2008 1:21pm PDT

  How long has he been in counseling? (I am an Addiciton Counselor)

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  Posted by packersgrrl0923 Wed Aug 27, 2008 5:30am PDT

  4 mos

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  Posted by keema Wed Aug 27, 2008 5:49am PDT

  people can change but u will neva look @ them the same. but b cautious b/c there is always a chance that they might go back 2 their old habits!!!

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  Posted by Carmine Fri Aug 29, 2008 8:01am PDT

  Be VERY cautious-also, I wouldn't move in together until this "changed" behavior has been sustained for at least 8-12 months. Remember-anybody can be "good" for a few months but true change will continue over time. I'm with someone who swears he'll change but won't take steps to do so. Getting together and him not changing isn't a risk I'm willing to take. Can you handle that risk?

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