Changing Views on Sex

From the Community…

• 
  Posted by another hockey fan Wed May 13, 2009 6:11am PDT

  I still hold the same beliefs I did as a young adult. No one should tell you when it's time or who with. Only you can decide that for yourself and as long as your have a consenting partner who shares your beliefs (if that is important to you) then I wouldn't waste another minute thinking about your reasons on why you wait.

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  Posted by Dracora007 Wed May 13, 2009 7:21am PDT

  "I wanted to know where you got your ideas about when and with whom it is appropriate to have sex with?"

  Any woman who I can get to open her legs. It's really not that complicated.

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• 
  Posted by Stephanie Wed May 13, 2009 8:49am PDT

  First, I just want to applaud you for sticking to your guns. I, personally, lost my virginity at 17. It wasn't in the best way but I can' take it back. Although I definitely see that you keeping your pledge to yourself takes a lot of willpower and strength, I also offer you this tidbit. Keep in mind that waiting until marriage seems to me like it could be tricky. I mean, waiting until you've already devoted your whole life to someone to committ physically doesn't appeal to me. I feel like sex is another channel that I used to get closer to the people I'm seeing. You can tell so much through the physical contact that you just don't get without it. If I don't have that, I don't know that I could ever get to the point (now that I've had sex at least) that it would be of no consequence to me. Plus, in a relationship to me if I don't want to have sex with them, its just a friendship. So if we were to get married, and find out that we have no physical connection or sexual chemistry, well then great... I just married a friend that I don't want to be with on any other level. This isn't the 40's anymore! Sex doesn't have to be a chore!

  Samantha on Sex and the City said it the best.. You don't buy a car without test driving it first, do you?

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  Posted by None Wed May 13, 2009 8:55am PDT

  Your reason is that your father ran out on your mom cuz he didn't want kids? Um, can't you simply not BE him? That doesn't make sense, anywho, to answer your question, my mom WANTS me to wait till marriage, but I tell her that now in my life, if I meet someone whom loves and respects me I will do what comes naturally, WHY, I waited at first, because I was totally against teenagers having sex, I believe in getting your life together as in getting yourself set financially, getting an education, and doing most of your goals in case if you have sex you get pregnant, or get an STD, and you should be an adult, I don't consider 18-20 year olds adults, I am not ready to deal with a pregnancy, and I see it as fcking someone is letting them take a hold of your body. I do not trust anyone that much to let them own my life for some quick pleasure, it is a big deal to me, what makes that person so special, I love my body and someone who gets to crack my innocence has to be almost perfect to have my "gift." That is why I wait and why I am proud to be a virgin, it doesn't make me who I am, it is just a part of me.

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• 
  Posted by Kandi Gurll Wed May 13, 2009 9:29am PDT

  great blog. you made some good points. AND I DO FEEL YA ON THE DAD ISSUE. but mine was the other way around. my momma never wanted my dad. she feared commitment. could never open her heart n love him the way he loved her. she just accepted the fact that she was "knocked up" with TWINS and took it as her CONSIQUENCE.

  and being raised with a bitter SINGLE woman... two jobs n no man... you hear about PROTECTING YOURSELF a lot. i grew up with momma in my ear, REMINDING me that men arent s---, that they will only bring you down n ruin your life n leave you with his children... that no man will ever love me... look, NOT EVEN YOU DADDY LOVES YOU! s--- is wack to tell a young child. it hurts...

  BUT , that is not the total reason i chose to remain a virgin.

  i know that i have trust issues. WHO WOULDNT GROWNING UP LIKE I DID. lol, BUT when im with a guy, i wonder if he would hurt me. i wonder if my momma is right about men. i wonder if his words are real... if he does love me. (and i know he couldn't love me in 3 weeks) ah... guys are an issue at times.

  i am just gonna say... BEING A VIRGIN IS MY CHOICE. it works for me... i love knowing im STD FREE, no child on the way, and i have a "gift" for some special man in my life. WHENEVER THAT IS.

  my choice is partially based on religion too (catholic) went to catholic school up to freshman year.

  i know that i am happy with myself at this time. happy being Candi.

  and when i meet someone, i will know in my heart when i am ready. but i am in no rush to make that decision.

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• 
  Posted by newageknight Wed May 13, 2009 10:02pm PDT

  Thanks for the comments all.

  @another hockey fan and Dracora, thanks for being the first posters here. I appreciate your contributions.

  @stephanie, thank you for your detailed opinion on the subject. I appreciate you taking interest in my situation. I understand your rationale and I agree to a point but at this stage in my life I usually get my physical contact through hand holding, hugging, and kisses.

  @kandi, glad you like blog. Keep your eyes peeled.

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• 
  Posted by holly Fri May 15, 2009 5:21am PDT

  I love knowinf that there are guys out there that can be inteligent enough to make the decision to hold on to that V-card, So I first off wanted to commend you and let you know that you have my respect.

  i decided in middle school that I was goinf to remain abstinent after taking a health class. My main reason was that it can put people at risk for various diseases and pregnancy. I wanted to be sure that when I had sex I was in love with that person and in a commitment so that I wouldnt risk the chance of being left alone with a baby in which wouldnt have a father during it's critical period. I dont trust easily and i like to avoid emotional attachments to guys. But who of the main things that keep me motivated to keep my viginity are

  1. Somewhere in the bible it says that sex is is to be kept for your husband.

  2. People dont believe in my decision and keep saying "Oh please! By next year your going to have lost your V-Card."

  I believe that sex shouldnt be called:

  1. f------

  2. Doing

  3. Skrewing

  4. Hittin it

  5. etc.

  It should be "Making love"

  Pleasing eachother at a stage past lust but with deep pashion that burns with love and admiration rather then to end up burning with an STD.

  - nice post

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• 
  Posted by holly Fri May 15, 2009 2:51pm PDT

  i definately should've proof read....lol

  sorry about the typos, I was in a hurry.

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