Love + Sex

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Chasing what's not good for you

Like a moth to a flame we tend to fock in directions that may not be the best for us. The messed up part about it is that we know better. From a young age we are taught that certain things are right while others aren't. We are taught to treat people as we would want to be treated yet some of us need a remedial refresher course in my opinion. After reading all of your comments and various blog One qeustion seems to stick that I myself am guilty of......Why do we want things or people that we know are no good for us? You want the newest phone yet you know that the bill is going to be outrageous with all of the features...you want the freshest gear but you know with in a few months it going to be out of style.....you chase that man/woman yet you know that he/she doesn't love you. All the while something better for you could be passing you by.

So again why do we want what's not good for us?

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Comments 1-8 of 8
  • Honest's Avatar
    Posted by Honest Fri Aug 8, 2008 5:04am PDT

    I think its common nature..you want what you cant have. Its not a bad thing. With relationships you never know tho. I would chase guys my whole life, and my mom would say..."let them come to you" but i wouldnt listen i wanted the rebelious guys who liked to party even tho im not like that. But the 1 thing i think that is good about chasing what might not always be good for you, is that that can change. I wanted so badly to date a guy who was a big drinker, had a past didnt know if he would be faithful, and i chased him and we dated and were still dating 2 years in. But i must for warn you...that you should go with your gut feeling about wanting something that you might not be able to have, it could be a sign. I love my man but there are still problems to all of his rebelios things he does. Another thing is that if you didnt chase things that you wanted, then you really would have much passion for anything, so it could be a learning lesson and help you grow.

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  • fool4love's Avatar
    Posted by fool4love Fri Aug 8, 2008 5:46am PDT

    Men are stupid about women. What women are about men is much worse but I can't say it. Nice guys will like a girl but find out she has a history of going for the wrong guy and cut their losses on the spot. A guy knows that a womman will break a nice guy's heart for a bad boy way too much more often than not for her to be worth trying too buck the odds.

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  • elle's Avatar
    Posted by elle Fri Aug 8, 2008 6:02am PDT

    It's a quick fix - to satisfy something that's missing in our lives. We can spend our whole lives searching for that one thing that we imagine is the one thing we've always dreamed of. Only to latter learn that it was our dream - not someone else's.

    The material things well they help cure; momentarily of course, some craving we can't seem to fulfill. Many times that's where our addictions begin. Smoking and drinking excessively (for me) are signs of depression. Something deep within ourselves we can't handle or eats at us. There are so many reasons - many come from childhood disappointments, let-downs, lack of love/attention/affection, or abuse. Sadly, people can go there whole lives thinking if they don't think about it - it'll go away.

    It's not about wanting what's not good for us but having something that makes us feel good. Think of an addiction... Food, your overweight, you know you shouldn't eat donuts cause it's not going to help you lose weight. But you say to yourself "I'll start eating healthier tomorrow." It never happens. And you knew it was wrong but it just looked and tasted soooo good - and no sooner are you done eating, savoring it, your regretting it.

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  • ladoglvr's Avatar
    Posted by ladoglvr Fri Aug 8, 2008 6:25am PDT

    Thanks Elle, that was it precisely...we're looking for something to distract us from not so good feelings. Chasing what won't ultimately enhance your life in a positive way can be a vicious circle. It does fill us up but just temporarily and I think leaves a bigger void after its over.

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  • Lovely79's Avatar
    Posted by Lovely79 Fri Aug 8, 2008 7:40am PDT

    Everyone had some very good points...Elle you made a comment that I have never looked at it like that before. We all just want to happy...sometimes at the expense of knowing that that happiness may only be temporary. My thing is, is the inevitable pain worth the temporary happiness?

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  • Lovely79's Avatar
    Posted by Lovely79 Fri Aug 8, 2008 7:48am PDT

    Everyone had some very good points...Elle you made a comment that I have never looked at it like that before. We all just want to happy...sometimes at the expense of knowing that that happiness may only be temporary. My thing is, is the inevitable pain worth the temporary happiness?

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  • InteletPax's Avatar
    Posted by InteletPax Fri Aug 8, 2008 9:23am PDT

    I think Lovely79 question should not be raised at the beginning. Are we talking about Love or are we talking about bargain exchange like getting a good deal in WalMart? Isn't it so true that Love is giving rather than receving? If you are in love, you will happily in pain to see the one you love happy. I don't say you will chase forever. There are too many constraints that limit a person to do so. Time, money, career, family, etc..Love is mutual. No matter how deep is your love, it will fade if it doens't receive any reflection. But at least, when you get out, you can think to yourself "I have tried my best to make my loved one happy."

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  • Kay's Avatar
    Posted by Kay Mon Aug 11, 2008 4:59pm PDT

    that is retarded about being in pain to see the other one happy? Jeez, might as well stick a tranquilzer gun in my neck and pull the trigger. I ve dealt with pain and I ve dealt with disappointment. I am trying to say that in order to get away from things that are not good for us, I believe that we have to be happy for what we do have. Not saying that it is easy, but it is heck alot better than suffering going thru the same BS over and over again. I haven't talked to Kevin in a day or so and I am still waiting for the marine I met online to come back from Iraq...I ll let you know how that goes on my next blog...but there should be no pain involved MAKING someone happy...I know because i have done it and it isn't easy getting over the drama. But all I can say is that we allow those things to happen to us that are not good for us because of the LOVE factor. Even though we know it's not good, we are blinded by the ASSUMPTION that our other half, how mine use to say, "I got you, Mama." All I can say to that is, "Bull Sh-t." He still hasn't proven me wrong in CHANGING for the better and I am better off without him. thanks for everything, Lovely79. I enjoy your comments and I enjoy your blogs! God bless!

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